Restoring Authority and Purpose in Jewish Education

For generations, parents have raised their children and teachers have guided their students, but never before have educators felt the uncertainty about the path of education that they do today.

The reasons for the steep educational decline among children and youth in recent decades seems to be the result of two main factors:

1. Exposure to the destructive influence of permissive, anti-values media, both broadcast and written.

2. A lack of foundational faith and moral values rooted in Judaism being passed down to students in schools.

The confusion and lack of confidence among educators likely stems from an additional factor: the modern principle of equality between parents and children, and between teachers and students- a notion introduced and widely discussed by contemporary psychologists. This idea has become so mainstream that many now accept it as an unquestionable truth, especially after being warned about the emotional harm that any other approach might cause to children’s fragile psyches.

As a result of this mindset, many parents have lost their sense of authority- first in their own eyes, and then inevitably in the eyes of their children.

Why was this new approach embraced in the first place?

Psychologists across the world concluded that the traditional methods of previous generations were overly rigid, oppressive, and emotionally insensitive. In response, they overcorrected, by demanding absolute equality for children. Today, we are witnessing the consequences.

Even if they are correct regarding the harshness of past methods in general society, they are gravely mistaken in applying that criticism to the Jewish-Torah approach to education. In Jewish teachings, our sages have always warned against extreme approaches and instead charted a balanced, middle path. The effectiveness of this path is evident in homes and schools that follow it faithfully. Judaism teaches that while parents and children are equal in value as human beings, they have different roles- each essential and complementary. When those roles are fulfilled correctly, the outcome is harmonious and fruitful education.

What Is Educational Success?

Some mistakenly define success in education as complete obedience and immediate compliance with every instruction given by a parent or teacher. In fact, this view is incorrect. Obedience gained through fear or punishment isn’t education, but conditioning. In such a system, the child does not understand or connect with the values, but merely follow orders to avoid consequences. It's similar to training an animal to perform tricks.

We shouldn't be surprised, then, if such a child behaves completely differently when out of sight of their parents or teachers.

The Torah provides a different definition of success in education, as it says: ​“Educate a child according to his way; even when he grows old, he will not depart from it.”

The first half of this verse teaches how to educate, and the second defines the goal. True success in education is measured by the child’s values and behavior when he is alone, without supervision-on the street, at a friend’s house, at school recess, and especially later in life as an adult.

When a child has internalized the values we’ve taught, through thoughtful instruction and explanations suited to their understanding, they will live by those values on their own. This is real education.

The Goal of Education: Independence

In Hebrew, the term for kindness is “gemilut chesed”. The word “gemilut” comes from the root meaning “to wean” or “to transition from dependence to independence” (e.g., weaning from nursing, or quitting smoking). “Chesed” means kindness or giving. Put together, true kindness is when the giver helps the recipient become self-sufficient- like helping someone find stable employment instead of just giving charity.

This is the ultimate goal of education: to help a child become an independent, morally grounded adult.

How do we reach that goal? The answer lies in the first part of the verse: “Educate a child according to his way.” According to the child’s unique personality and nature.