Forcing Positivity Can Backfire: Let Yourself Feel

If you're constantly pushing yourself to stay cheerful and optimistic, a study from the University of California, Berkeley finds that you might actually be increasing your risk of falling into deeper emotional distress.

The study followed 1,300 American adults to explore the connection between how people handle their emotions and their psychological well-being. The results were clear: people who resist their feelings, deny darker emotions, or harshly judge themselves for experiencing them are at higher risk for anxiety and stress.

Those who allowed themselves to feel sadness, disappointment, or even resentment, and let those emotions pass naturally, reported fewer mood swings and emotional disturbances.

“We found that how people relate to their negative emotions is very important for overall mental health,” said lead researcher Brett Ford. “People who accept these emotions without criticizing themselves or trying to push the feelings away are better able to handle stress and process their negative emotions.”

During the study, participants answered questionnaires rating how strongly they agreed with statements like: “I tell myself I shouldn’t feel the way I’m feeling.” Overall, those who didn’t beat themselves up for feeling low were in a better mental state than those who constantly scolded themselves during emotional dips.

In a second part of the study, participants were required to give a videotaped speech as part of a mock job interview- an intentionally stressful scenario. Those who didn’t accept their negative emotions reported much higher levels of stress during the task.

In the third and final part, 200 participants were asked to keep a journal for two weeks, writing only about their most difficult experiences. Six months later, a follow-up psychological health check revealed that those who avoided confronting negative emotions reported more emotional problems and mood issues than those who had allowed themselves to feel naturally.

What’s the takeaway?
You may not enjoy being sad or angry, but you also don’t need to chase away every negative mood with a stick. Sometimes we just feel off, and that’s okay. The study concludes that fighting unpleasant emotions only makes them linger longer and feel worse. Letting them come and go, however, may be the healthiest thing we can do.