Don't Think of a White Bear: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Ronen was driving on the highway. His wife sat beside him, and behind him his three children. Nothing prepared him for what happened next.

Suddenly, a terrifying thought crossed his mind: “What if I swerve the car and crash it with my whole family inside?” A feeling of horror and anxiety overwhelmed him. He felt an urge to act on the thought, and that frightened and stressed him out. “What’s happening to me? Am I losing my mind? What a horrifying thought and impulse! What is this urge?” Cold sweat and fear took over. His anxiety intensified.

Then, another thought came to him: “I’ll close my eyes for just a second to prove to myself that I can immediately open them again and that I’m still in control.” And so he did. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, gradually calmed down, and continued driving, on a highway, no less.

When I met Ronen, he was extremely anxious. This incident became one of many others that followed. He didn’t understand what was happening to him.

When a person has distressing, out-of-character urges that go against their conscience- like the one described- there is no real likelihood they will act on them. They are not psychopathic. The very fact that their conscience strongly objects to the thought, and they’ve never committed antisocial acts, shows that even with the strongest urge, they will not do anything dangerous. To do something that severe, one must not only have the urge, but also disregard human life, ignore consequences, and more.
 

What Is Happening to Ronen- and Many Others Like Him?

This is a case of OCD- Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. About 2.5% or more of the population (roughly 250 out of 10,000 people) suffer from it. Many people, especially those who experience it, are surprised by how common it is. One of the hardest feelings is “I’m not normal.” But you're definitely not alone.

OCD is a condition where a person experiences distressing, intrusive thoughts that recur uncontrollably. These thoughts often cause significant emotional distress, especially when they involve frightening content, such as Ronen’s fear of losing control. Sometimes, the thoughts are neutral but still intrusive and repetitive, making them disturbing.

These thoughts might involve imagined disasters, pathological fear of mistakes, obsessions with cleanliness, order, and more.
The common denominator is the sense that the disturbing thought runs on repeat in the person’s head without control. This can last for hours each day which is the obsessive element.

Things get more complicated when the person begins performing a “soothing” action (mental or physical) to relieve the distress. Once they realize that this helps calm them, they begin repeating it. Over time, this calming action becomes compulsive. Now we have both an obsession and a compulsion.

For example, Sam left his house in a rush to get to work. Suddenly, he wasn’t sure if he had locked the door. He walked back up four flights of stairs just to check. Seeing that the door was indeed locked calmed him down. But once he reached the building’s entrance, doubt crept in again: “Did I press the handle hard enough?” He went back up, checked again, and felt better.

Later, on his way to work, he had the same doubt and returned again. This time, he pressed the handle seven times firmly, just to be sure.

Here, the issue isn’t a terrifying urge, but uncertainty, followed by repeated compulsive actions that take up time and significantly disrupt life.

Why Can’t a Person Just “Stop Thinking” the Thoughts?

A major frustration in OCD is the inability to stop the thoughts. The more a person tries to push them away through distraction or suppression, the stronger they become. Studies show that most people experience intrusive thoughts now and then, but they don’t “stick".

In cases of OCD, the thought gets stuck because the harder you try to suppress a thought, the more it grows. The more anxious a person gets, the harder it is to let go of the thought.

This is demonstrated in the famous "White Bear Experiment", where participants were told not to think of a white bear for two minutes. Most failed. This demonstrates how hard it is to deliberately control our thoughts.

The Physiological Factor

When a person experiences stress from a disturbing thought, their brain interprets it as a danger. This triggers the release of epinephrine (similar to adrenaline), which tightens muscles, increases heart rate and breathing, and causes thoughts to race. The body is on high alert and prepares for danger.

In OCD, the thoughts themselves are the “danger.” This leads to even more anxiety, and the cycle repeats. A person can be trapped in obsessive thoughts for hours.

How Is OCD Treated?

At the core of OCD treatment is the goal to accept the intrusive thought, rather than fight it. Do not argue with it or fear it. Accept the experience, the uncertainty, the urge, and everything behind the thought.

When you accept the thought, it becomes less interesting and there’s no “dialogue” between you and the thought. This is a serious challenge for those with OCD- but understanding the mechanics gives you power to fight it.

One method involves exposure exercises:

• Spend 10–15 minutes once or twice a day intentionally thinking the disturbing thought.

• Focus on accepting it and observing your emotions- without arguing with the thought.

• Just listen. Over time, the thought becomes boring.

• Keep going until the time is up- even if the thought starts to feel meaningless.

Do this daily. If you have multiple intrusive thoughts, handle each one separately.

Outside these sessions, when a thought appears, tell it:
"I hear you. What you’re saying is important, but I’m busy right now. I’ll revisit this in 5 minutes." Then, try to delay it further if possible. Eventually, train your mind to reserve all such thoughts for that set 15-minute window. Consistency is key- even if it’s hard.

This disorder can seem unsolvable and cause immense suffering- but never give up. I’ve seen people fight and overcome OCD and you can too.