Don't Fear Stress- Make It Your Ally

It’s Friday afternoon! Shabbat is approaching quickly, there’s still food to cook, the house is a mess, and the kids haven’t bathed yet...stress is through the roof!

You're preparing to walk into a job interview: Will I make a good impression? What if I say the wrong thing? I want to sound confident but not arrogant...the pressure is high.

Your to-do list is overwhelming- how will you possibly get everything done?

We often hear that stress is bad for our health. But is it really? A fascinating 8-year study in the U.S. tracked 30,000 adults and asked two simple questions:

1. How much stress did you experience in the past year?

2. Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?

Here’s what they found when they tracked mortality rates:

• 43% of those who reported high levels of stress had a significantly higher risk of death- but only if they believed stress was harmful to them.

• Those who experienced high stress but didn’t believe it was harmful had the lowest mortality rates of all- even lower than those who reported only low levels of stress!

• In total, 182,000 people died during the study period not from stress itself, but from the belief that stress is dangerous.

In a popular TED talk, clinical psychologist Kelly McGonigal shared how she used to tell her patients that stress was harmful, until this study completely changed her mind. Now she says “If you change your mindset about stress, you can change how your body responds to it.” When we feel stress, our heart rate rises, breathing quickens, and we might sweat. If we interpret these symptoms as dangerous, we spiral into anxiety. But if we understand these responses as our body preparing us to handle a challenge, our heart pumping faster to fuel action, and fast breathing sending more oxygen to the brain, we can actually perform better, with less harm to our health.

Another part of the study showed that when participants were trained to see stress responses as helpful, they entered high-pressure situations (like giving a speech) with more confidence and calm.

What’s happening in the body?
If you panic, your blood vessels constrict, which is unhealthy over time and linked to heart issues. But if you feel courageous and empowered, your vessels remain relaxed, just as they would during joy or bravery. Your attitude changes your physical response! Next time you feel stressed, tell yourself “This is my body helping me rise to the challenge.”

During stress, your body releases oxytocin- the “cuddle hormone” that's released during warm hugs. It encourages you to seek support from others and increases your empathy which means that stress can actually make you more caring and socially connected. Oxytocin also has healing properties- it calms the body, prevents inflammation, and even helps the heart regenerate damaged cells.

You can boost oxytocin levels by helping others, volunteering, supporting a friend, and showing compassion. The more caring you are, the more oxytocin your body releases, and the more resilient and healthy your heart becomes.

Stress doesn’t need to be your enemy. It can be your body’s way of empowering you- mentally, emotionally, and even physically. All it takes is the right mindset.