The Art of Jewish Hospitality: Lessons on Welcoming Guests with Joy and Kindness

“The mitzvah of hachnasat orchim (welcoming guests) is a great commandment,” writes the Pele Yoetz, “one of those for which a person enjoys its fruits in this world, while the principal reward is preserved for the World to Come.”

The Pele Yoetz praises those who open their homes to others: “Fortunate is the person who can fulfill this mitzvah when his home is spacious enough to host others. He performs an act of great kindness, for the value of kindness increases in proportion to the guest’s need, distress, and suffering.”

He continues by illustrating the plight of a poor traveler: “If a guest arrives in town — a poor man who cannot afford an inn, or when no lodging is available — what will he do if no one takes him in? He is a stranger in a foreign land! Where can he turn for help? When he finds someone to receive him into their home, it is truly as if his life has been saved. Therefore, this mitzvah is considered exceedingly great.”

“When one appreciates the greatness of this mitzvah, it will not feel burdensome. The greater the mitzvah, the greater the pleasure one gives to his Creator, and the greater the reward. Therefore, one should not be troubled by the guest but welcome him with love. Fortunate is the one who loves God — for to one who loves, no effort or expense feels excessive when it brings joy to the Creator.”

The Right Way to Welcome Guests

Hospitality must be done with a pleasant face and kind demeanor: “A condition of the mitzvah of welcoming guests is to receive every person cheerfully. It is more pleasing to God and to people to serve even a piece of dry bread with a smile than to offer rich foods with a scowl.”

What If the Host Lacks Financial Means?

The Pele Yoetz offers surprising advice: “If it is difficult for him to spend much due to limited means or anxiety — he should not overspend.”

He warns that this hesitation often comes from the yetzer hara (evil inclination), which discourages a person from performing this great mitzvah by making it seem too demanding.

“This is the advice of the yetzer hara, seeking to prevent one from doing good. Therefore, if the expense is hard for him, he should not spend more than usual so that the guest will not feel like a burden. This is not a disgrace, but an honor, for the guest prefers that the host not overspend on his behalf.”

Avoid Anger While Hosting

The host must be careful not to show frustration: “Even if there is anger or sorrow in his heart for some reason, he should remove it and show the guest only a cheerful face, so that the guest does not think he is the cause of his host’s bad mood.”

The Pele Yoetz also reminds us of the Talmudic teaching (Bava Batra 9b): “One who gives charity to the poor is blessed with six blessings, but one who also comforts him is blessed with eleven.”

Keep the Greatness of the Mitzvah in Mind

“Never remove from your thoughts the greatness of this mitzvah and its reward,” writes the Pele Yoetz, “so that it will never feel heavy upon you, and you will perform it with extra love and joy.”

How to See the Guest Off

“When the time comes for the guest to leave,” he writes, “the host should bless him with provisions for the road, in accordance with God’s blessings to him, and accompany him part of the way — for in this, God will bless the host’s possessions.”

The Guest’s Duties

The Pele Yoetz concludes the chapter “Guest” with instructions for the guest himself:

A. “The guest should not impose on the host. If he can afford to stay in an inn, he should not seek to stay in another’s home. Even if invited, he should initially decline until the host insists, ensuring that the invitation is genuine.”

B. “Even when staying in the host’s home, he should not remain there all day. He should go out from time to time so as not to burden anyone.”

C. “He should not ask intrusive questions about the host’s business, possessions, or private matters.”

D. “If he has the means and it is not inappropriate, he should contribute toward the household expenses.”

E. “He should show great respect and affection toward the host, his family, and especially the children.”

F. “He should fill his mouth with praise for the host and bless him with the Birkat HaOreach (‘the Guest’s Blessing’) recited in Birkat HaMazon.”

The Eternal Lesson

Not everyone finds it easy to give, to share, or to welcome others wholeheartedly. Few can reach the level of Avraham our forefather, who built his tent open on all sides to greet travelers.

Yet, one day, each of us will be asked in Heaven: “How did you act for the good of others in this world?”

This, teaches Rabbi Uriel Rabinowitz in his lecture “Hospitality in Our Generation,” is the timeless challenge of hachnasat orchim:
To make space in our homes — and our hearts, for others.