Keys to Life: How to Choose the Right School for Your Child

When it comes time to choose a school for your child, it’s important to keep in mind that this is the place where your child will spend half the day or more for many formative years. These years are critical for shaping their personality, emotional and physical well-being, and level of education.

The decision should therefore not be taken lightly or based on superficial factors like proximity to home, a modern building, a large playground, a new sports facility, or that a few famous people once studied there.

Many parents- especially when enrolling their first child- tend to choose a school based on external considerations, without weighing what truly matters. They also may not realize that a school which had a strong reputation years ago, may not necessarily be the same today.

What Makes a School Truly Good?

An honest assessment will show that a quality educational institution should meet at least three basic criteria:

1. Ensure the child’s physical safety and well-being.

2. Provide a strong moral and ethical education, including values such as respect for others, honoring parents and teachers, emotional resilience, and tools for navigating life’s challenges. This should be demonstrated with tangible results.

3. Deliver solid academic instruction to equip the child with the knowledge and skills they need.

Not All Priorities Are Equal

A close look reveals that the first two criteria (safety and moral development) are even more important than academic achievement.

No level of academic excellence can justify putting a child at risk, physically, emotionally, or morally. A school that fails to protect a child from harmful influences is not a place we can, in good conscience, send our children, even if it boasts high test scores.

There is also a growing body of evidence that academic performance declines in schools with rising levels of violence and disorder. Here’s why:

• Much of the lesson time is spent dealing with discipline instead of learning.

• A child who fears being hurt- physically or emotionally- cannot properly focus.

• Students may skip school to avoid bullying or violence, leading to missed lessons and falling behind.

Gender-Specific Findings

Studies conducted in the U.S. have shown that girls in co-ed classrooms often feel secondary, threatened, or distracted, and are less focused on their studies. Boys in the same classes also struggle to concentrate due to other social dynamics.

When boys and girls were placed in separate classrooms, academic performance improved significantly- for both, but especially for the girls.

Even if a school aims for high academic standards and uses excellent materials, it has no impact if the students are stressed, distracted, or unhappy. True learning requires peace of mind, emotional stability, and a sense of safety.

What Do the Facts Say?

Looking at a wide range of schools across the country, based on research, reports, and testimonies, it becomes clear that a parent who genuinely wants:

• A high-quality education,

• A safe environment, and

• Strong academic results,

is most likely to find all three in a Torah-based school. This is true regardless of whether the parent identifies as secular, traditional, or religious.

What If My Child Brings Home Religious Changes?

Some parents are concerned that sending a child to a Torah school will introduce religious expectations into the home. It's important to understand that in most cases, these requests are minimal and easy to implement- such as lighting Shabbat candles or making Kiddush. In fact, many parents find themselves enjoying these new traditions.

More importantly, ask yourself this: Isn’t a minor lifestyle adjustment a small price to pay for raising a child with strong moral values, who shows respect for parents, and grows up in an environment free from life-threatening risks like drugs, violence, or cult-like groups that sadly exist in some secular schools?

When it comes to your child’s future, don’t settle for a school simply because it’s convenient or familiar. Choose a school that:

• Protects your child’s physical and emotional well-being,

• Provides strong ethical and value-based education, and

• Delivers meaningful academic growth.

In today’s world, a Torah-based school is often the only setting where all three can truly be found.