Emotional Crises: A Jewish Perspective on Suffering and Inner Peace

The primary reason behind most emotional breakdowns is the feeling of helplessness- an overwhelming sense that one cannot cope with long-term suffering or a sudden, intense hardship, with no light at the end of the tunnel.

In such moments, a person may feel alone and abandoned in a world that feels threatening, leading to psychological collapse and escape into an imaginary world far removed from reality.

Not suprisingly, it’s much easier to avoid a breakdown than to recover from one. But with the right mindset, it is possible to prevent the anxiety that precedes a crisis, and to ease the suffering of those already affected.

Building Inner Strength Through Meaning

Meaning is achieved by understanding the purpose of life, the reason for suffering, and the hidden good that either already exists or will eventually emerge from it. When the soul understands what is happening, it is less frightened by painful developments and remains intact.

The foundational belief required to understand that suffering has a purpose- that even perceived "bad" contains good- is faith in Divine providence.

A person who knows that the world was created to benefit humanity, and that nothing happens by chance, begins to grasp that a limited human being cannot see the full picture or understand what is truly best for them. For example, a person cannot foresee that if his failed business venture had succeeded, it may have led to immense wealth that ultimately harmed his children’s upbringing or even endangered his life in some way.

Likewise, someone born with an unattractive appearance, a deformity, or a chronic illness- or acquired such conditions later in life- might not consider the possibility that, before being born, their soul requested these circumstances to rectify mistakes from a previous incarnation.

A person must internalize that their Creator loves them and wants their ultimate good. Therefore, there must be a meaningful reason for their suffering, designed specifically for their benefit- even if their limited human wisdom cannot grasp it.

The Torah states: “The hidden things belong to the Lord our G-d.” As Rabbi Bachya writes in Duties of the Heart, this verse teaches that while we may not understand the reason for our personal trials, we can still believe that there is a reason, and that everything is for the good. As the Sages say in the Talmud: “A person should always say, ‘Everything the Merciful One does, He does for the good.’”

How to Internalize This Truth

To internalize this on both a logical and emotional level, one must first ask whether they’ve made reasonable, natural efforts in the area of their suffering:

• Have they sought medical help for an illness?

• Have they searched for a spouse during prolonged singlehood?

• Have they looked for a job during financial hardship?

If a person has done their part and the challenge persists, they must accept that the delay or pain is ultimately for their benefit. At that point, not only will they stop resenting their struggles, but they may actually come to appreciate and embrace them. This is the secret behind the unwavering joy and peace of mind seen in many Torah scholars, even during difficult circumstances.

A Four-Layer Foundation of Faith

This deep inner peace is built upon four pillars of belief:

1. There is a Creator.

2. Everything is governed by Him and nothing is random.

3. He loves His creations and desires only our good.

4. He is unlimited in His capabilities.

With these foundations firmly in place, the person may ask:

“If I believe these truths, then why isn’t G-d fulfilling my wishes? Isn’t He capable? If He created the universe and makes the sun rise daily, surely He can solve my problems! So why doesn’t He?”

The only correct answer is because in His infinite wisdom and knowledge of the future, G-d knows that what is happening now is ultimately best for me.

I am like a small child who doesn’t understand why his father sends him to school instead of letting him play all day. The father’s vision is broader than the child’s. And if this is true for a human parent, how much more so for our Heavenly Father, especially when considering that this world is fleeting and filled with illusions. From a higher perspective, today’s worries are like a child crying over a paper boat that sank in a bucket. One day, I too will “grow up” and understand that the pain I now feel is nothing more than a passing illusion.

By reinforcing this mindset, especially during easier times, we prepare ourselves to face greater hardships with strength and avoid emotional collapse.

The Result: A Life of Peace and Gratitude

An individual who lives with this outlook experiences ongoing joy and contentment. To outsiders, they may appear to face hardships, but internally they feel fulfilled and at peace.

The Sages taught: One who lives with this worldview is happy with their portion, even if they lack wealth and are considered “poor” by others. In truth, such a person is the richest of all. True poverty is not a lack of money, but a constant feeling of deficiency. True wealth is contentment and wholeness with what one has been given.

Wealth and poverty are therefore not about how much we have, but how we relate to what we have. When a person believes that they are constantly in the care of a loving G-d who provides exactly what they truly need, they naturally become happy with their lot.