The Power of a Smile: How a Simple Gesture Can Change Lives

If we wish to develop, refine, and shape our personality, and also improve the lives of those around us, we can begin by simply smiling.

In Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers), the Sages expand on various aspects of the mitzvah “Love your neighbor as yourself”. One specific instruction is to “Receive every person with a pleasant face”. When you're speaking with someone, you can do so with a cold, unreadable face- or you can have the same conversation, with the same words, but with a smile that conveys empathy and warmth.

In the Orchot Chaim by Rabbeinu Asher (the Rosh), he writes: “Let not your face be angry toward passersby; greet them with a cheerful countenance.” This isn’t only relevant during conversations, but even while walking down the street.

We cannot overstate the immediate and soothing effect a smile has on others. There are countless stories of people who were saved from very dark places by a single smile, even from a stranger they never met again.

One such story happened years ago in a yeshiva in Israel. A student, struggling with his Torah studies, had decided to leave yeshiva and join the workforce, despite his young age. On the final day he came to pack his things, a fellow student (whom he didn’t even know) quietly walked up behind him and adjusted the collar of his shirt. The boy looked at him with surprise, and the fellow student said, “I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable walking around the yeshiva like that.”

That small, kind gesture struck a deep chord. “If someone who doesn’t even know me cares how I look,” the student thought, “maybe I should give this another try.” He stayed one more month, which turned into a year, which became twenty years. One day, his daughter got engaged to a remarkable yeshiva student, and the wedding was scheduled abroad.

Mr. Yosef Cohen (the student who had fixed the collar) received a wedding invitation in the mail- with a plane ticket enclosed. Confused, he called the number listed. “Hello, this is Yosef Cohen. I just received a wedding invitation and a flight ticket in my mailbox. Are you the sender?”

“Yes, yes! I was waiting for your call! How are you?”

“Baruch Hashem…forgive me, but I don’t recognize your name.”

“Oh! Of course you wouldn’t. Twenty years ago, we were in yeshiva together. I was about to leave yeshiva for good, but on my last day, you fixed my collar. You told me you didn’t want me to feel embarrassed walking around like that. That small act completely changed my life and made me feel seen and valued. I gave yeshiva one more try, and I never left. Now my daughter is getting married to a special yeshiva student, and it’s all because of you. My family and I are eagerly waiting for you.”

It's incredible what a small gesture of care can accomplish.

The Talmud tells us that Rabbi Yochanan who was one of the greatest leaders of his generation, would greet every person first- even strangers.

How Does a Smile Work?

Try this simple exercise: go outside and smile warmly at the first person you see. Tell yourself (internally) that you love this person- not because you know them, but because they are a human being with a heart that longs for warmth and appreciation. Often, you’ll get a warm reaction- perhaps a smile, or even a curious “Do we know each other?”

What is it about a smile that makes people feel so good? A person’s face reflects their soul. You can often guess what kind of phone call someone is having just by watching their face, without even hearing a word.

The Physical Structure of a Smile

Physically, a smile changes two things in the face:

1. It curves the bottom lip into a bowl shape.

2. It opens the lips, revealing the mouth.

That gentle curve seems to say, “Life can flow easily; take it lightly.” The opening of the mouth says, “I’m open to you, my heart is ready to listen and understand.”

Subconsciously, these cues tell the other person:

• Life isn’t so hard.

• Someone is open to me and gets me.

These two unspoken messages create inner peace and joy in the receiver.

Why Are We Drawn to Children?

Many adults find comfort from stress by playing with children. Their radiant smiles, carefree laughter, and pure joy pull at our hearts. Children offer the kind of genuine, non-manipulative joy we long for. Happy people smile, and people who smile become happy.

What If I Don’t Feel Like Smiling?

Sometimes life is hard and you may not feel like smiling. How, then, can the Sages tell us to smile at others?

The Rambam explains: “The heart is drawn after actions”. We are instructed to act first, even if it feels mechanical, and eventually, your emotions will follow. This is not about fake smiles, but about creating space for a real one to emerge.

Once you smile, others will smile back, and that will bring you joy in return. Smiles are contagious in the best possible way.

The Science of Smiling

Research confirms that smiling tightens the facial muscles, improves blood flow, and affects brain temperature. These physical changes trigger the release of chemicals that elevate mood.

In one study, participants were asked to make happy or angry facial expressions. Those who mimicked a smile reported a better mood afterward- even if they weren’t happy to begin with. Even a “forced” smile can spark genuine joy.

Give a Smile. See the World Differently.

Notice what’s good in your life and choose to see positivity. Eventually, you’ll realize everything really is good, because as our Sages say: “Everything G-d does is for the best.”

A smile costs nothing but is worth everything. It enriches the receiver without impoverishing the giver. No person is too strong to need it or too rich to benefit from it.

Some people are too weary to smile. Smile at them. No one needs a smile more than someone who can’t give one themselves.