I Would Pray to Leave, But Where Could I Go with Three Kids?

Help, I want to get out of here and don't know how. I heard that your department helps women in situations like mine, and I hope I reached the right place. In every voice of request, please help me," was the email sent to the assimilation department at Hidabroot, in an unusual manner, by Merav, a 31-year-old Jewish woman from northern Israel, a mother of two who 'converted to Islam', married a minority man, and moved to live with him in his village, located in Palestinian Authority territories.

"We met four years ago," says Merav in a broken voice. "I was going through a tough time then, after a divorce from my husband. I wasn't planning to meet someone new, but everything happened so fast." It started when Yasser (his real name is protected in the system), who worked at the supermarket where she shopped, just smiled at her. Then one day, he stopped her on the street, and they started talking. "He asked me if I wanted to have coffee with him, and I said okay. I knew he was Arab, but that didn't bother me. I liked him."

After a few months of getting to know each other, Yasser and Merav became an official couple, and as expected, the marriage proposal was not long in coming. "I converted to Islam, and we got married in Jaffa – in an official ceremony, without much joy," Merav recalls sadly. "We lived in my area, the northern region, for about a year and a half. Then he convinced me to move to his village, which is in the Palestinian Authority territories."

How did you react?

"Because I didn’t really understand what it meant, and I didn’t know the differences between living there and living here – I reacted normally. After all, what does it matter where you live if the relationship is going well?" At least that was her thought then, but only when she moved to the village did she realize the extent of her bitter mistake. "Within days, his attitude towards me changed dramatically. He became extremely violent, and I quickly realized this was not the man I knew. This was a different man, different. Not the one who spoke nicely to me, not the one who always offered to buy things for me."

Then the painful realization struck her that everything Yasser had told her before moving to the village were blatant lies. He assured her there were many other Jewish girls her age who had converted, and she could talk to them, but the truth was there wasn't even one more like her. She also discovered he had another wife living with them in the same house, on the upper floor, and right next to them lived his parents and brothers – who hated her to death and tormented her in various ways.

"Not a Day Went by Without Beatings from Him"

Because she did not understand Arabic, she was lonely beyond description, but that was the lesser issue. The real problem was the violence she and her two children (a two-year-old girl and a three-year-old boy) suffered daily from the man who should be the closest to them in the world: husband, father. "The children from my previous marriage suffered here endlessly, despite their young age. Yasser abused them in ways I find hard to describe, including hard slaps and kicks. He had no pity on me or them. The problem was that his older children imitated his behavior and cursed my children in Arabic and threw stones at them. Not a day went by without beatings from him."

Why didn't you try to talk to someone, ask for help?

"Who from? I didn't have anyone there, and I couldn't do anything but cry. Every day I would pray to leave, but where could I possibly go with three children – two from a previous marriage and one with him? Who would want to help a woman in my situation?"

How did you reach the assimilation prevention department of the Hidabroot organization?

"Through an emotional story I read on your website about a girl who was exactly in my situation, and your activists helped her. I thought to myself: 'If they can help her, then why shouldn't they help me too?'. That same day, I wrote an email to you."

That same day, the activists from the assimilation prevention department in the organization hurried to contact her. "From the moment the email was received, we made dozens of calls to the police, the Shin Bet, the owner of the safe house and whoever you don’t want," says activist K. "The whole department was on its feet to get Merav out of there on that very day (!)."

On that day??? How is that possible?

"In such cases, there is no time to waste, and sometimes it is a matter of life or death. So we prefer to think that we did everything to save another girl from the jaws of the devil."

K. 'ordered' Merav to take the children immediately and leave the house at once. Through the security services, she received a taxi with a Palestinian driver, who drove her and the children to a specific junction located in Israeli territory. There, at a predetermined location, awaited her two Israelis – a security guard and a driver, who drove her straight to the police.

That very day, Merav filed a complaint about the verbal, mental, and physical abuse she and her children suffered at the hands of Yasser. After that, she was taken to the safe house, where she remains to this day, and the next day she completed the process of returning to Judaism with a lawyer. "In the case of divorce, according to the Jews, the child goes with the mother. However, according to the Muslims, he goes with the father. What this process basically means is that even if the husband locates her and demands custody of the children, he will no longer be able to do so."

In addition to the safe house, Merav received from the organization's department everything required to open a new chapter that would allow good living and provide a sense of security and protection. "In such cases, we spare no expense. Merav, and every other girl in her situation, receives help from us with everything she needs, including personal security and transportation, money, clothes for her and the children, food vouchers, furniture, and more. All we want from her is one thing: that she feels good and wants to start over. We'll take care of everything else."

Shvuyot – The Department for Preventing Assimilation, for inquiries and reports: Tel: 073-2221333 or 052-9551591. Email kalina@htv.co.il