Why Following Your Heart Isn’t Always the Best Guide: A Jewish Perspective

There are those who say: "I follow my heart and do what feels good to me! I’ll observe the Torah and mitzvot 'when the time is right,' when I naturally feel the desire and connection to do so."

Behind this statement lies a common belief that the heart (our feelings, desires, and gut instincts) is the best guide to what is good for us. This idea is widespread in our generation, largely because modern Western culture champions the value of personal freedom—freedom of expression, freedom of entertainment, freedom of movement, freedom from traditional marriage frameworks, and so on.

In earlier generations, society placed greater emphasis on values such as discipline, solidarity, loyalty, and personal responsibility. As a result, it was often easier for young people to connect to religious ideas. Many of the feelings and desires we think are “natural” are actually shaped by the habits and messaging of the culture around us.

In fact, your desires are not necessarily your own, and they definitely don’t always lead you to true happiness and peace.

Imagine someone who wants to fly a plane and says: "I don’t need all that complicated flight training—I’ll just fly based on what feels right in my heart!"

Or a patient who tells their doctor: "I refuse to take this bitter medicine or go through this painful treatment—I only do what feels good!"

Or someone who tells a nutritionist or personal trainer: "I sit all day, avoid exercise, and only eat what tastes good—because that’s what my body tells me to do!"

We all understand that a person who ignores danger is likely to get hurt, and an individual who neglects their physical hygiene will develop health issues. Likewise, someone who doesn’t protect themselves from harmful substances or toxic media is likely to fall into addictions, depression, and mental imbalance, potentially damaging their relationships, wasting precious time, and sometimes even losing their marriage or family as a result.

Often, we must sacrifice short-term desires in order to attain greater well-being, peace, and security in the long term. This doesn’t mean that we should become emotionless robots.  Emotions are incredibly important in that they fuel our actions and give us energy, but the goal is to channel our emotions toward what is genuinely good and right for us.

G-d created us with wisdom, and He knows exactly what’s beneficial for our eternal soul, and what can harm it. He gave us the Torah, for our benefit: “To keep the commandments of the Lord and His statutes, which I command you this day—for your good.” (Deuteronomy 10:13)

G-d wants us to attain the greatest and most meaningful kind of good, to grow spiritually, to fulfill the vast potential within us, and to live the best possible life, both in this world and the next. A wise person who understands this, chooses a life path based on reason, and then guides their heart toward true and lasting goodness.