When G-d Says No: Why Unanswered Prayers May Be Life’s Greatest Blessings

Although we often cannot comprehend the good in what we are experiencing, G-d knows exactly what is good for us and what is not. His understanding is infinitely deep, as He has known us from the moment of our creation. Rabbi Akiva taught us the principle: “A person should always accustom himself to say: everything that the Merciful One does is for the good” , which has been codified in Jewish law. The word “everything” includes all of life’s situations.

When a parent refuses to give his child a candy, knowing that it would harm him, this naturally causes the child to burst into tears. In truth however, the parent's refusal is for the child's good- he simply lacks the maturity to understand what is truly beneficial for him.

In the same way, when a Jew asks G-d for something and does not receive it, he may wonder, “Why is G-d not answering my prayer? Why won’t He fulfill my request?” If the person knew that everything G-d does is for his absolute good, he would stop and reflect on where the hidden good lies in not receiving what he wanted, and ultimately accept it with love and trust.

A personal story helped me understand my limited perspective regarding G-d's ways.

Some years ago, I was searching for a rental space in which to open a synagogue and study hall. I found a property of about 80 square meters, which seemed to fit my needs perfectly. After lengthy discussions with the owner, we agreed on a price and all the construction details, and the matter was passed to the lawyers to prepare a formal contract.

That very evening, the owner’s wife called me, and in a firm, clear voice, she told me the deal was off — and hung up without offering any explanation.

At that moment, I looked up to Heaven and said: “Master of the Universe, all I want is to glorify Your name and Your Torah in the world. Why won’t You give me the opportunity?” (Of course, this thought was based on a mistaken assumption.) I concluded my conversation with G-d by accepting the situation as a possible atonement for my sins, and accepted His judgment with humility.

A month later, someonee approached me and asked, “Is it true that you’re looking for a space to build a Beit Midrash? There’s a large area for rent right near your house,” he said.

“How big?” I asked.

“Four hundred square meters,” he responded.

In that moment, I lifted my eyes to my Father in Heaven and asked forgiveness for not realizing that the cancellation of the previous agreement was for my benefit — so that I could find a larger, more spacious place. In retrospect, the cancellation was not bad at all, and certainly not a punishment or atonement, but rather a great kindness and pure mercy from Hashem.

After some negotiation, we finalized the price and construction details, and with G-d’s help, we merited a much larger and more beautiful space, in an even better location than the first one.