How to Make Resolutions That Last: A Jewish Approach to Change

As the new year approaches, many of us try to take on personal resolutions, but often we fail to carry them out as planned. Why does this happen, and how can we make commitments that truly last over time?

Rabbi Yaakov Lugasi, in his book Nafshi Beshealati, explains why most resolutions people accept upon themselves ultimately collapse:

1. The resolutions are too difficult in quality.

2. The resolutions are too many in quantity.

3. The resolutions are taken for a long-term period.

Small Resolutions, Short-Term

According to Rabbi Lugasi, a person who wants his resolutions to endure should take on something small and achievable. Likewise, it is better that the resolution be for a short period of time, and then renewed repeatedly.

He shares a story about Rabbi Chaim Halberstam of Sanz (the Divrei Chaim, 19th century): “In my youth I was considered diligent and hardworking… I outsmarted the evil inclination. Other children my age would make grand resolutions at the beginning of the year to last for an entire year, and in the end, they failed. I told myself I would not do as they did. Instead, I would make a resolution for one day only. The evil inclination is not frightened by a single day. And the next day, I would again make a resolution for one day, and so on.”

For example, instead of committing to finish an entire tractate of Talmud, commit to completing just one chapter. Instead of a full resolution on shemirat halashon (guarding one’s speech), commit to half an hour a day. For Shabbat, focus only on not turning on lights. For prayer, concentrate on one section, or even a single blessing. The key is consistency.

Don’t Speak Your Plans Aloud

Another factor that prevents resolutions from succeeding is mentioned in the Talmud (Sanhedrin 26b): “Ulla said: Even a thought has effect, even regarding words of Torah.”

Rashi explains that if a person says aloud, “I will learn such-and-such,” or “I will do such-and-such,” this can actually cause the plan to fail. Similarly, if someone declares, “By such-and-such date I will finish this tractate,” he should be careful not to verbalize such plans, whether in Torah study or mitzvah observance.

The book Bina Le’itim, quoting earlier sources, adds that when a person speaks out his resolutions, the words can be “heard” by spiritual forces of accusation (mekatregim), who then stir up obstacles to prevent him from carrying out his plans.

For best results, start small, keep it realistic, renew it often, and hold it quietly in your heart.