Wanting But Not Succeeding? Here's How to Stick to Your Commitments Over Time

As the new year approaches, we try to adopt various commitments, but often fail to fulfill them as planned. What are the reasons, and how can we make commitments that we can stick to over time?

Rabbi Yaakov Lugasi in his book 'Nafshi B'She'eleti' explains why most of the commitments a person makes do not stand:

1. The commitments are difficult to fulfill in terms of quality.

2. There are too many commitments in terms of quantity.

3. The commitments are taken for the long term.

1. Small Commitment, Short Term

According to him, a person who wants to keep commitments should take on something small that he can sustain and not take on too many things. It is also advisable for the commitment to be for a short time, and each time renew the commitment again.

The Rabbi of Sanz of blessed memory tells about himself:

"In my youth, I was considered a diligent and persistent child... I approached the evil inclination with strategies. Other children of my age would make plans and commitments for an entire year at the beginning of the year, and ended up failing...

I told myself I wouldn't do like them, I would take a commitment upon myself for one day only, and the evil inclination would not be so worried about a single day, and the next day I would again take a commitment for one day and so on."

For example, in learning, it is advisable to commit to completing only one chapter, one tractate, and so forth – the key is consistency. Commit to guarding the tongue only for a certain half-hour a day, observe Shabbat only by lighting the candle, dress modestly only in sleeves, concentrate on prayer only on one section, or just on one blessing like Asher Yatzar or Shehakol. And similarly.

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2. Don't Reveal Your Plans

Another thing that prevents a person from fulfilling his commitments is what is said in the Gemara (Sanhedrin 26b): "Ulla says thought is effective even in matters of Torah."

Rashi explains: A person who says what he plans to do, such and such I will learn, causes the matter to cease. Likewise, when he says by day X, I will finish this tractate – a person needs to be careful not to reveal his plans in learning or fulfilling commandments.

It is also mentioned in the book 'Bina L'itim' in the name of the ancients that when a person tells his thoughts, it is heard among the accusers, and they create obstacles to prevent him from realizing his plans in practice.

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