I've Strengthened My Faith, So Where's the Blessing?

There is a mistaken belief that if one returns to religious observance, life becomes perfect, and Hashem will now arrange everything neatly. Sometimes people become more observant and expect things in life to start flowing the way they want. They think that if they are "good children" towards Hashem, the heavens will open and blessings will pour down on them. Often, it indeed happens that a great salvation suddenly occurs after a step of significant spiritual strengthening. When a Jew strengthens themselves, elevates their spiritual level, and overcomes their natural inclinations towards comfort and habits, Hashem leads them with providence beyond nature. Thus, the person moves from a natural path to a divine guidance that transcends the constellations and nature, allowing them to annul decrees and achieve great salvations.

At times, a person receives difficulties in their life, with the purpose of provoking them to strengthen and make steps of progress, and therefore it is certainly necessary to engage in these spiritual actions, which can awaken heavenly mercy and change reality. Indeed, many times, when people strengthen and change their spiritual path, those challenges and difficulties disappear, as they have achieved their purpose.

But the happy ending doesn't always come so quickly. Not everything flows like in the stories, and there are several reasons for this.

Sometimes the person themself is the reason things do not go as they would like. King Solomon says, "A man's folly perverts his way, and his heart rages against Hashem" (Proverbs 19:3), meaning that sometimes a person makes mistakes and brings upon themselves negative consequences, and then they become bitter at Hashem and ask why He did this to them. For example, sometimes a person does not work on their character traits and wonders why Hashem doesn’t grant them a bit of peace and harmony at home; other times, a person harbors internal fears and psychological barriers they do not work to heal, and they ponder why Hashem doesn't bless them in that area, while it is their own soul preventing the flow of blessings; sometimes destructive emotions like resentment, hatred, or jealousy linger in a person's heart, causing health issues, and they do not work internally to remove them. In other words, there are cases where the person themselves, through their actions or internal perceptions, prevents the change in their life's reality.

Sometimes the reason things do not happen as we expect is because even more significant strengthening is desired from us, or reinforcement in another aspect may be required. For example, we may have committed to strengthen in a certain area, but from above, another thing is also expected of us, perhaps strengthening in faith and trust, maybe prayers, Shabbat, modesty, study times for Torah, character refinement, and so on. Every person knows their own soul's distress, and with a bit of introspection and self-honesty, conclusions can be drawn about where further improvement is needed from us.

Warning! A Dangerous Perception

The problem with the thinking that "thanks to this strengthening, this will happen to me," aside from the fact that it is not true as long as we have not received prophetic revelation, is that many of us can easily slip into a slippery slope of complaint against Hashem when things don’t unfold as we thought they would.

We need to remember that nothing is guaranteed to us, and if we take on a commitment or perform an important mitzvah, it doesn't necessarily mean we will see cash rewards come into play by next week. For the same reason, our Sages warned that after praying with intent, we should not 'examine the prayer' - expecting that, since we prayed with intent, our request will now be granted can lead to disappointment and heartbreak (Tractate Berakhot, page 32). We should certainly take commitments and strengthen ourselves, as these are the only actions that can help us change the situation, but we should also avoid that eager anticipation of "Well, where are the results?"

Strengthening is not some business transaction with Hashem – I’ll strengthen myself, and You, in return, give me what I need. It is not correct to come with a demand, even just in thought, believing that we deserve and Hashem now "needs" to give us what we ask because we performed a mitzvah or took on a certain strengthening. Every blessing that Hashem bestows upon us comes from kindness and mercy, and we must trust in Hashem's kindness to grant us gifts out of mercy, not because of our own merits.

And let us not forget, even if the salvation is delayed and Ariella from the lottery office still hasn't called us, the spiritual strengthening we've taken upon ourselves is recorded in our eternal ledger up above and is invaluable. We've reached a higher level that has brought us closer to Hashem, who is proud and infinitely joyful in us.