The Believer's Eternal Waiting: "When I Feel Connected to the Commandments – Change Will Come"

You have looked deeply into the creation and the complexity within it and understood that such a work could not have come into being randomly. You have already heard several proofs of the divine nature of the Torah, and within you, you know that it is the real thing. But even when you intellectually know what the right thing is, often the connection to practical implementation is the hardest step. Introducing change into life can be more difficult than being open and willing to hear information that contradicts our current way of life and acknowledging that we may have erred slightly along the way.

The first excuse we tell ourselves to quiet the conscience about not yet taking on changes is that perhaps faith is the most important thing to Hashem, and our daily actions and observance of the commandments are less critical to Him. This excuse typically doesn't hold up for long, because if in the divine Torah, Hashem commands us explicitly to do or refrain from certain things, then it's clear that's His will. Hashem's desire for us to keep His commandments appears many times throughout the Torah, as in "You shall observe My statutes and My ordinances, which a person shall do and live by them, I am Hashem" (Leviticus 18:5); "And you shall observe all My statutes and all My ordinances and fulfill them, I am Hashem" (Leviticus 19:37); "See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse: the blessing, that you will heed the commandments of Hashem your God, which I am commanding you today; and the curse, if you will not heed the commandments of Hashem your God and will stray from the path that I command you today..." (Deuteronomy 11:26-28); "And now, Israel, what does Hashem your God ask of you, but... to keep the commandments of Hashem and His statutes, which I command you today for your good" (Deuteronomy 10:12-13); "Be careful and listen to all these words that I command you, so that it may go well with you and your children after you forever, as you do what is good and right in the eyes of Hashem your God" (Deuteronomy 12:28) and more.

And from here we move to the next excuse, which is that currently, we don't connect so much to the commandments and don't really understand them, and it's hard to do something without feeling a connection to it. "Maybe in the future, when I feel in my heart that I want to do it and understand the reasoning behind that commandment, then I will do it," we tell ourselves. The big question is, do we really need to understand the logic and high reasoning behind each commandment to observe it? Is the observance of a commandment dependent on our assessment and agreement that it is right and just?

The truth is that many times we perform actions, upon which our lives even depend, without checking them at all, instead relying on whoever is behind them. For example, there is a green traffic light and we enter a central intersection – do we even check that the traffic light for the cars in the intersecting lanes actually shows red? The answer is no, we simply trust that the traffic light system is programmed correctly. Another example is a prescription a doctor gives us – do we even check what the active ingredients in the medicine are and learn how they affect our body? The answer is no, we simply trust the doctor and his knowledge and that the pharmaceutical company did not make a mistake in the medication's composition.

When we blindly trust someone, we don't need to verify for ourselves if what they assert is indeed correct. And here, we are not talking about a human doctor or a traffic light system programmed by a human, but about the Creator of the world. When we know that the Torah is from Him, and His will from us is to keep it, then it should be enough for us to know that it is the most right, fair, and good thing for us.

And so exactly the Israelites said after the giving of the Torah – "We will do and we will hear." Logically, one would say first 'we will hear' and only then 'we will do.' That is, first we will hear – understand the existing meaning behind the commandments, and only then will we do them. But here the opposite appears, and the reason is that if the commandments are the will of the Creator of the world, then they must certainly be the right and binding thing. Therefore, they did not delay in observing them. And afterwards, while keeping and doing them, they could learn and delve into their meaning. The study and understanding did not delay the observance of the commandments because of the knowledge that it is the binding will of the Creator of the world – He who created us, loves us, and wants what is best for us.