How to Marry Off Children Respectfully? Rabbi Pincus Offers a Brilliant Tip

"The ABCs of trust are acknowledging that there is a Creator of the Universe – Hashem, the true God. He alone has done and continues to do all actions by His will, without depending on any external factor, not even on you or anyone else," the sage Rabbi Shimon Pincus would often say. To illustrate this, he used the following example: When a person travels on an autopilot airplane, and suddenly notices the plane swaying, fear grips them about what might happen next. In contrast, when flying in a plane navigated by a pilot, you trust him, for the simple reason that you know the pilot is alive, exists, and knows what he is doing. There is someone to rely on.

"When we are surprised by an action of Hashem that was unexpected, and we become confused by it, it may indicate a terrible and invalid feeling as if, heaven forbid, we are flying in a 'plane' without a pilot.

Rabbi Pincus referred to the stage when parents marry off their children, standing helpless before the heavy economic burden. "A person marrying off his daughter asks Hashem to help and give him enough money, and by God's grace, as we all know, miracles occur. There was a wedding, an apartment, and all the other needs. But this man is stressed and tense, with no day or night. What bothers him now? 'What about the second daughter, as if miracles happen every day?!' he ponders with fear, and the greater the miracles with the current daughter, the more his fear of the future increases…", says Rabbi Pincus.

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"If his uncle is Elijah the Prophet, who wrote him a significant check to cover the expenses of the first wedding, there would be no problem, presumably he would also receive for the next wedding. And what is the truth? Doesn’t he have such an uncle?", Rabbi Pincus wonders and answers: 'This is my beloved, and this is my friend.' For he arranged all the previous wedding for you, and you should hope that he won’t abandon you moving forward.

Rabbi Pincus once told one of his sons a life-changing key sentence: "Know that most of the problems people have, such as tension, heartache, disappointments, and pressures, stem mainly from 'worrying about tomorrow'. In most cases, one can live in the 'now' and deal successfully with it, but there is tension about the next moment and what might happen tomorrow and the day after. How will I make a living next month and when will I find a match for my daughter..."

"Worrying about tomorrow haunts us like a shadow," Rabbi Pincus reiterates and calls: "Do not worry about tomorrow's troubles!"

When he saw a community member worried one Shabbat evening, he approached him saying: "You look worried! What are you contemplating now?! Surely you're wondering how you'll manage this coming week with your bank… So come and hear a 'foundation': Last week, you were troubled about the same thought, and two weeks ago as well, and what happened in the end? Everything worked out, thank Hashem, and your fridge is full, right? So why worry now about how you'll manage next week?!"

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Thus he explained the meaning of the prayer words: "I give thanks to You… for giving me back my soul with compassion, great is Your faithfulness": We all know and believe that Hashem oversees everyone's actions and judges them according to their deeds, and it's clear to each one of us that according to our actions – we are not deserving to be healthy and whole. The reason we are still in good health is due to Hashem's special "compassion" for us.

"If so, the following question arises: Today, Hashem has had compassion on me, but what about tomorrow? Given my condition, I don't deserve any moments of life, and even if I've received a free gift – it's limited to just today, and tomorrow I'll need another special miracle to stand on my feet. This is the 'great is Your faithfulness' – there is someone I can rely on! If I rose through His mercy today, I will rise again tomorrow. I place great trust in You, my Creator and Maker, that it will be so.

"On another occasion, when discussing Hashem's boundless kindness filling the world, he mentioned that all of creation – the beasts and animals from the smallest creature to the greatest, the heavens and the earth and all their hosts – all sing praises and extol the Creator, and then he added: 'Everyone, except one being: the human – who grumbles from morning till evening about trivial matters...'.

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"There is nothing to worry about," Rabbi Pincus would repeatedly say, "and why should I fear still? If I were alone in the world, and there was no one else besides me needing to marry off children, I wouldn't be worried. I would be certain that for one person in the world – there is plenty for all his needs as it has been until now. If so, what do I care that there are others like me in the world? It stands to reason that Hashem will continue to bestow His goodness upon me as well.

"But what? In the mind, several 'questions' arise: After all, that person did 'fall' in earning a livelihood, the cousin is struggling with the kids, and the neighbor lies suffering in the hospital, and what will happen with me? These 'questions' trouble and give no rest, and here the role of 'trust' is – 'a thousand may fall at your side, even ten thousand at your right... but to you it shall not come near... because you, Hashem, are my refuge'. But what about reality? This is the point of trust – that the Torah is reality, Hashem – is reality, and the rest – are mere questions... and from questions – as is known – no one has ever died...

"During a particularly tight period for my livelihood," he once told a student, "I took upon myself to start being meticulous about tithing a tenth of my income to the poor. And ever since then, thank God, the problems vanished, and my livelihood improved tremendously."

Thus, he too sought for himself a source of income that would rescue him from the economic straits he was in at that time, but the source was – in the Torah itself (as the source in the Talmud Gittin 7a states: "If a person sees their sustenance is limited, let them make charity from it") which alone is the true reality, not from imagined sources rich in wealth.

When will we stop worrying all the time? Where do we fall in our faith against the Creator of the Universe? Rabbi Igal Cohen with a strengthening lecture on simple and genuine faith:

From the book "And His beloved ones like the coming out of the sun in its might"