From Meron and Karlin to Italy and Miami: The Bereaved Father's Reflection on Recent Tragedies

Rabbi Avigdor Chayut, who lost his 13-year-old son Yedidya z"l and his student Moshe Levi z"l in the Meron disaster, recently commented on the series of tragedies affecting the Jewish world in recent months.

"We are currently in a very rare period where Hashem communicates with us very directly. There haven’t been many such times in history," the bereaved father began his remarks. "We read about Balaam, who was given the title 'wicked.' From examining the verses, it’s unclear why he is so wicked. He asked for permission, wasn't given, and didn’t go. Later he received permission and went. He ultimately did not curse. So why did he receive the nickname Balaam the wicked?!"

"Furthermore," Rabbi Chayut continues, "the Mishnah in Pirkei Avot tells us, 'What is the difference between the disciples of Abraham our Father and the disciples of Balaam the wicked,' but what connection is there between Abraham and Balaam?! They didn’t live in the same era at all. The Midrash explains that both Abraham and Balaam took the same path – they knew Hashem independently, but whereas Abraham took his faith to the utmost – faced ten tests and passed them all, Balaam the wicked took his faith for personal needs.

Rabbi Avigdor Chayut

"He strikes the donkey three times, and the donkey opens its mouth and asks him: 'Why have you struck me these three times?' If I were walking down the street by a sheep, and it would open its mouth and start talking, I would run across the street for sure. What is clear is I wouldn’t be able to utter a word. Balaam – what does he do? He answers: 'Why did I strike you? You started it. You’re to blame.' Are you normal? You always see talking animals?! Don’t you understand that Hashem is sending you a message here?! It doesn’t interest him. Balaam is very focused: I have a goal to go to Balak for the honor, for the money. I’m not interested in any message right now.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are in a very strange time. Let’s take a summary from the last six months," asks the father who tragically lost his firstborn son. "Until Lag B’Omer, we had Corona here. A very difficult year. People got sick. People died. People lost their livelihoods. Synagogues, yeshivas, kollels, cheders – all closed and sealed.

"Try to imagine that a person came to us a few months earlier and said: 'You should know, in a few months, they will close all yeshivas, all kollels, all educational institutions, all synagogues. We would tell him: 'Are you normal? Who will close? Why on earth? What, are we in the times of the Greeks? The Romans? Communist Russia? Who will close all Torah institutions? Why should it be?! And all over the world, what are you talking about?!"

"He explains to us: 'There will be a virus.' 'What???', Rabbi Chayut asks with his excellent rhetorical talent. 'In a modern world like ours, where at the push of a button, you move the entire world, you talk about a virus?!'

"And here it came. The whole world was paralyzed. We went through this period. It’s ending. Lag B’Omer arrives, and the Meron disaster occurs. A police commander told me: 'Do you know what we called Lag B’Omer this year? 'The Corona End Celebrations'. I told him: 'And what’s the connection to Rabbi Shimon? Did Rabbi Shimon talk about Corona? Maybe he caused it too? What’s the connection to Corona?', the police chief replied: 'Don’t get me wrong. Rabbi Shimon was a holy Tanna, we wanted to take the opportunity: hundreds of thousands of people, without masks, without capsules, hundreds of buses, trains, the State of Israel emerged from Corona. Let’s, let’s go announce it to the whole world.' And he didn’t envision how much this event would be publicized," notes the bereaved father.

Commission of Inquiry

"Wise people sat down after the disaster and tried to think about how such a thing happens, because it’s not the first time people gather together. Maybe the passageway is new? Not new, the passageway has existed for 12 years. Maybe this year there were too many people? Not true. Last year there was no ascent because of Corona. Two years ago was the peak of all times: Two years ago, 500,000 came to Meron on Lag B’Omer. This year – a little more than 100,000. So how does this happen?! They try to find reasons. They establish a commission of inquiry.

"I’ll share with you a phone call I received on Sunday morning. From 6:30 in the morning, the phone rings. I don’t answer calls before prayer; after Shacharit, I check: 60 missed calls from this number. Who is it? A woman from some channel.

- 'Mr. Chayut, I must have your reaction.'

- 'What did I do?'

- 'You did nothing, but the new government, how exciting, decided to set up a commission of inquiry. I wanted to ask what it does to you, what it does to the family.'

"I could have answered her with one word and ended the call," says Rabbi Chayut. "I could have told her 'nothing'. But I preferred to explain to her. For that, I go back to being a child in first grade for a few minutes. I tell her 'A commission of what?'

- 'Inquiry'

- 'What does it mean?'

- 'There will be several people, either 3 or 6, they haven't decided yet. Each will operate their team and investigate to truly understand what happened in Meron.'

- 'It’s very exciting,' I reply to her sarcastically.

- 'Really? Are you excited about it?'

- 'No, I’m excited that so many people are willing to work voluntarily'

- 'No, you’re wrong. This commission received 6 million shekels'

- 'How soon will they deliver results?'

- 'Up to two years.'

- 'Dear lady, can you write down a number for a moment?'

- 'Yes. What should I note?'

- 'Bank Hapoalim', replies Rabbi Chayut, interrupted by the presenter’s question: 'What???'

- 'That’s my bank account. Special for today. Deposit 2 million shekels, and within 12 hours, I'll bring you all the materials, including videos, photos. If you want, I'm ready to make a demonstration there, including a tour of the cemetery near my son's grave and my student’s grave. 2 million shekels. I saved you 4 million.'

- 'No, there won’t be just random people there'

- 'Thank you for the compliment, I'm very encouraged by it. I want to understand: Don’t take me. No problem. What will you do with these findings? Headlines in newspapers?'

- 'No, it seems they will correct the deficiencies'

- 'It’s very nice if there will be representatives from the greats of Israel, who understand it’s not just a stadium but a very holy place and will prepare the place for the arrival of hundreds of thousands, I will be very happy. If you put a small sign in memory of the soul, I’d be even more delighted.'

6000 rockets

- 'Yes, understood. But that’s not the main thing.'

- 'What is the main thing?'

- 'The main thing, Mr. Chayut, is they will find the guilty.'

- 'There are guilty? How many? A thousand? Two thousand?'

- 'No. Five, four, you know what, one culprit, they will find the guilty, and he will pay with the full severity of the law.'

- 'Really? What will they do to him?'

- 'He will be imprisoned for decades.'

- 'Dear lady,' replies Rabbi Chayut with his abundant humor. 'Hold on a moment on the line, I’m driving quickly straight to the Segula Cemetery in Petah Tikva, I’ll put the phone on my son’s grave, you tell him this, he will be happy. Soon he will come out of there, they'll find the guilty!'

- 'Well, really, it won’t help him'

- 'I’ll let you in on a secret: It won’t help me either, and it won’t help anyone in the world either.'

- 'So why are they looking for the guilty?', wondered the television presenter in the ear of the bereaved father.

- 'Why? I’ll tell you why, but you’re not hanging up the phone. You’re looking for the guilty because you can’t believe.'

- 'What?'

- 'Yes. Something happened, and someone is not guilty? Heaven forbid we should believe. No, no, no, take a commission, 6 million shekels, the main thing is we don’t have to believe. We’ll catch that scapegoat. We’ll take him as a sacrifice, and that’s it. The main thing is we don’t have to believe.'

In the face of the applause heard from the audience, Rabbi Chayut responded: "Ladies and gentlemen, there is no need for applause. We all know this is the absolute truth. No one injures their finger down below unless it is decreed upon by Heaven above. Could something like this happen simply due to some guilty party?! Absolutely not! A mistake! Absolute heresy! To know that everything is calculated by Hashem."

"The shiva didn’t even end, close to 6000 rockets on Israel. Life changes completely," Rabbi Chayut describes the chain of disasters that hit the Jewish people in the last two months.

(Photo: Olivier Fitoussi / Flash90)

"Shavuot night. Karlin Hassidim. The bleachers collapse. Three dead. 140 injured.

"A week later - a kind man and his entire family board a cable car in Italy. The cable car collapses. The whole family is killed except for one small child.

"A yeshiva student from Rekhasim drowns in a river and dies. A groom is run over to death in a car accident a week before his wedding. A 14-year-old boy drowns in a pit last week. A building collapses in Miami, and once again the Corona returns, this time in its Indian variant.

"If we want to be like Balaam, we put on his glasses, very simply, and start analyzing:

"Corona? Very simple, there was a hungry Chinese man who ate a bat. The bat was infected, and that’s why it all broke out. Very simple.

"And Meron? Really, it’s the commission of inquiry. We talked about it.

"And the rockets from Gaza? Very simple, the Arabs were a bit hot, they got agitated. It happens once in a while, it’s called an escalation, what can you do?! And Karlin? Really, it’s because it was built negligently.

"Cable car collapsed? Very simple. It didn’t work for five months due to Corona. True, I also know that here in the Hermon in Israel, every year at the beginning of the winter, all the cable cars collapse because they didn’t work in the summer, it’s normal of course," Rabbi Chayut continues with his dark, painful humor, and notes that in Venezuela, where he lived until last year, the longest cable car in the world exists. "The cable car has existed for 48 years, and no car has ever thought of falling. This is despite maintenance and Venezuela not going together."

"And the yeshiva student who drowned? Didn’t know how to swim.

"And the groom? The police investigation says he crossed a white separation line.

"And the building in Miami? Really, it’s across from the sea, and the salinity of the air caused it. Like what happens here in Netanya, in Hadera, in Tel Aviv, of course, all buildings fall at some point, don’t they?!

Change in Trend

"We’re mocking," Rabbi Chayut tells the audience amid their laughter, "We’re mocking, but that’s what we do all the time, explaining everything, and that way everything is fine. The moment we understand something is happening here, our sight will change.

"A month and a half ago, I was asked to give a lecture in Ramat Gan to lawyers and doctors. I went. I walk in and say: 'Good evening,' they reply to me: 'Good evening and blessed,' and I tell them, 'How wonderful, a whole sentence without arguments. We all agree on the same thing. Maybe we’ll reach agreements on a few more topics?'

'Yes, what?'

'I want to consult with you. A case occurs, a disaster, an event. What does everyone say? Very unfortunate, it happened by chance.

'And if right after the case, something else happens? What is it called professionally? That’s called a 'coincidence.'

'But if after a coincidence, a third, fourth, fifth case happens, and it doesn’t end? What is that called? That’s called a change in trend. Something is happening here.

"You’ve said it all," Rabbi Chayut cites the things he said in his lecture in Ramat Gan. "Ladies and gentlemen, something is happening here. The Temple was destroyed 1,950 years ago. Hashem tells us: 'How long do you want to be in exile? There’s no time. Come on, wake up.'

"When I come in the morning to wake my son: 'Shmuel, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up.' Until he gets up, I wake him. When he gets up, I stop waking him. So Hashem keeps waking us. Until we get up.

"The Meron tragedy happened two months and 4 days ago. How many troubles have we heard just since then, over two months? Doesn’t this say something to us?! Hashem speaks to us very, very continuously.

Candle lighting at the Meron disaster scene, archive (Photo: David Cohen/Flash90)

"The Temple was destroyed due to baseless hatred. Why hasn’t it been rebuilt? Was there any generation in history that had so much Torah, Torah study institutions, yeshivas, kollels? Endless charity organizations? What’s happening? Because the point for which it was destroyed hasn’t yet been corrected. We understand that we must work with love for our fellow, very simply.

"By the way, there is no logical justification in the world that I stand here and speak. Anyone familiar with the place in Meron, there’s the passageway, 20 cm before the stairs where I lay on the floor, and not among everyone, but under everyone. There is no logical chance that I stand here and speak. I was evacuated in a moderate to severe condition, and 5 minutes later we arrived at the hospital, and my condition was already defined as severe, and I arrived without breathing.

"I live against all odds. I understood that Hashem sent me a task now. I go everywhere they call me. If there are people who want and are ready to grow stronger. Is there anything more exciting than one thinking about another and wanting to give to another from his own? After all, none of us have extra money. The moment we show Hashem: 'Master of the Universe, we are waking up, we are thinking about each other, we are caring for each other.' I am sure we will prevent many disasters in this way, and with God's help, we will merit the complete redemption quickly in our days, amen."

How do you cope with the loss of a precious and beloved firstborn son? Rabbi Avigdor Chayut, who lost his son Yedidya z"l in the terrible tragedy in Meron, talks about bereavement in a speech replete with faith. Watch (Courtesy of 'Kol Chai'):