Prayer or Effort? Part I

Chananel asks: "Hello, I am 19 years old. Recently, I have become more religious, thanks to the Hidabroot website. I learned that everything is in the hands of Heaven except the fear of Heaven. Can I please get an explanation of what is in the hands of Heaven and what is in my hands? I am quite confused. I find myself in some discomfort due to things happening in my life, and I don't know whether to accept the situation as it is or to do something about it. It would be really good to understand. Thank you."

Zehava asks: "Hello. My son has been going to kindergarten for the second year now, but he is not getting along well there. There are calm days, but often there are conflicts between him and the teacher or other children. I learned in class that everything is in the hands of Heaven, and I want to live with the belief that everything is for the best. Can I say that my son's and the teacher's behavior comes from Hashem, and therefore not try to find a solution and not rely on any ideas that come to mind?"

Hello and blessings,

I have quoted here two of the questions I received regarding the degree of effort. Without proper guidance, those new to religiosity might make mistakes regarding trust and the duty of effort. I've encountered cases of people who thought they didn't need to make the usual efforts, like turning to matchmakers, seeking a livelihood, consulting doctors, or reaching out to advisors and professionals about their problems in relationships and child education, because they thought everything that needed to happen would happen regardless, from Heaven, without their intervention.

Unfortunately, I've met impoverished people who chose this path and, after many years, despaired when they didn't see salvation in their matters, becoming bitter in spirit.

I once heard a wonderful principle in spirituality: every thought and advice that comes from the good inclination must ultimately lead to strengthening and closeness to Hashem, and vice versa, every thought and advice that comes from the evil inclination will lead to failure and distancing from Hashem. The test of results proves from which inclination the thought or advice came!

An error in the sense of "trust" will lead to failure in faith: "A man’s own folly perverts his way, yet his heart rages against the Lord" (Proverbs 19:3).

I’ve seen this repeatedly: a "believer" who waited for a miracle over the years, hoped and anticipated salvation time and again, but fate decided otherwise and his situation didn’t change. Now he thinks that Heaven "had to" grant his request after he believed and trusted so strongly, leading to feelings of disgust and making strong complaints towards Heaven: "You grumbled in your tents and said, 'Because the Lord hates us, he brought us out of Egypt'" (Deuteronomy 1:27).

If his faith were real, he would accept the tribulations with love or at least with submission, but because from the start he believed he would receive his request in any situation without effort, he came to anger and accusations approaching heresy, and began to wonder if Hashem wasn’t listening. From one extreme, he will go to the other extreme and begin to believe that only effort or life conditions determine our status...

Perhaps now he will make efforts without continuing to pray and will discover, to his surprise, abundance coming to him (-either because it was predetermined that he would receive it from Heaven at the time he made an effort, or because all his prayers accumulated in Heaven as merits, and now that he made the appropriate effort he deserves to reap the fruits of his prayers). From a misguided perception of reality, he will end up in the old heresy: "You may say to yourself, 'My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me'" (Deuteronomy 8:17), and he will say in his heart "I am, and there is none besides me" (Isaiah 47:8).

Then he will cease praying and believing entirely, for he will think there is no justice, and the world operates as usual... Unfortunately, I have encountered this situation more than once.

Those who delve into the desires of the soul will find that misguided trust actually stems from a degree of laziness. When problems arise that require investment and effort - investigation, learning, going from place to place, paying professionals - it's easier to sit idly by and tell ourselves "better to sit and do nothing." A lazy heart justifies its laziness through words, provided it doesn't need to engage the brain and body.

This particular laziness "solves" even the pangs of conscience that arise from failure and lack of success, because initially, it removes any personal responsibility for what happens.

He lets matters unfold on their own, and if they don't work out - he doesn't take the blame, after all, he believes that this is how it was decreed for him from Heaven... He will never feel guilty about his condition. He doesn't strive as he should, and even when he fails - he doesn't feel guilty about his failure. Isn't this the ultimate laziness, disguised as faith and trust in Hashem?

A person must develop the attribute of diligence, especially regarding commandment matters and learning, and not be lazy. Prayer is the first step before every effort, but it doesn’t absolve an ordinary person from the duty of making the required efforts in the worldly way.

Prayer and trust are indeed the great principle, the true believer knows in his heart that with them he will achieve success, but he also knows that Hashem’s will is to act in the natural way, and for this he is commanded to make the effort. Just as prayer and trust are done for his blessed service, so is effort done for his blessed service. Who thinks to receive a reward for only half the work?

Thus the Sages explained the verse: "'so that Hashem may bless you' — could be even if one sits idly? It teaches, "through all the work of your hands which you do" (Deuteronomy 14:29).

"Duties of the Heart" by Rabbeinu Bachya is a foundational book on trust and faith that must be studied. In Chapter 4 of the Gate of Trust, it clarifies:

"Just as people have no control over their life or death, nor over their illness and health, so they aren’t given the responsibility for their sustenance, living, clothing, and other bodily needs. Even though his faith is clear to him, that his matter depends on the decree of the Creator, blessed be He, and what Hashem chooses for him, no choice is more beautiful, he is obligated to toil for his needs, for what is best for him according to what he sees fit.”

A person must see effort as a commandment: "to stand by the commandments of the Creator who commanded man to engage in world affairs by working the land and cultivating it" (Chapter 3).

Hashem created us in a world of action because He wants acts to occur, through prayer and faith in Him, blessed be He. And specifically through effort - there is a test of faith:

"You may say to yourself, 'My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.' But remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today" (Deuteronomy 8:17).

The true believer knows that even when he makes an effort, what truly works is trust and prayer, the effort is merely a commandment imposed on him as a mission that must not be neglected.

We can learn about the duty of effort from the very fact that our spiritual souls are instilled in material bodies that require care in this world. The body requires actions like breathing, eating, drinking, walking, sleeping, etc. Just as a person is obligated to eat and drink to live, so he is obligated to strive and pray to obtain his needs.

Those who will not make the logical effort expected of them will not receive the abundance allocated to them from above, as they themselves block the abundance that was meant to be given to them.

Hashem operates in His world in the natural way, hence He wants us to act naturally, making the accepted efforts in the worldly way.

The Torah commands: "Be very careful about your lives" (Deuteronomy 4:15), and the Sages said: "He shall surely heal – from here it is derived that the physician is given permission to heal" (Brachot 60a).

One should not sit idly by and rely on miracles. The Torah said: "Do not test the Lord your God" (Deuteronomy 6:16), and the Sages taught: "A person should never stand in a dangerous place thinking a miracle will be performed for him, lest it isn’t, and even if a miracle is performed for him, his merits will be reduced" (Kiddushin 29b).

We are obliged to pray and, in addition, to make the efforts customary in the natural order, because it is forbidden to rely on miracles.

The Ramchal explains in his book "The Path of the Just":

“There is appropriate fear and there is foolish fear, there is trust and there is recklessness... One who wishes not to conduct himself wisely and exposes himself to dangers, this isn’t trust but recklessness. And he sins by acting contrary to the will of the Creator, blessed be His name, who desires that a person keep himself protected. And in addition to the danger innate in the thing, to which he is liable due to lack of caution, he also becomes liable by act by sinning. And sin itself brings its own punishment...

But foolish fear is: a person wants to add protection to protection, fear to fear... The rule to distinguish between the two fears is... Where harm is known and evident, there is cause for caution, but where no harm is known, there is no place for fear. For this reason, it is said: ‘that which we have not seen, we do not hold as a concern,’ and ‘the wise has only what his eyes see’” (Path of the Just Chapter 9).

In the next article, with Hashem’s help, I will address the questions we saw and will discuss famous quotes such as "everything is in the hands of Heaven" and "everything is for the best."