The Test of Faith: Mothers' Struggles in Raising Young Children

A simple and agreed principle: something precious comes at a high price.

What could be more precious to a person than witnessing the greatest joy in life—having a son and daughter walking in the way of Hashem, respecting their parents and everyone around them? What can bring more joy than when a friend tells you, "Fortunate are you to have such a son, diligent and God-fearing. Blessed is the one who gave birth to him!" Is anything comparable to this value?

You are about to raise a generation continuing the glory of the people of Israel. Indeed, sometimes the results are not as expected, but now, while the children are young, that is surely your hope. A person invests in a business, even if not certain of the outcome, because perhaps with Hashem’s help, it will succeed.

Moreover, why worry about the distant future of the child? Let's see the daily benefit; the son goes to Torah study and without the breath of children learning, the world could not exist. Isn't it worth investing daily for daily results? Every day that a child goes to Torah study, learning the Aleph-Bet, he builds worlds and sustains the entire world.

Strengthening Faith and Joy for Mothers Exhausted from Raising Young Children

If you, as a mother, had to prepare a sandwich for a great Rabbi or a righteous one, day after day, with what joy would you do it? You wouldn't give up that privilege at any price. So why is it hard for you to prepare your son and to send him joyfully, with drums and cymbals, to Torah study? After all, his breath is more valuable than that of Rabba and Abaye as brought in the Gemara, and the breath of children is considered more important than the Torah of Rabba and Abaye. Would you not be willing to invest in the Torah of Rabba and Abaye?! Now, aren't you getting results just as good...

Consider, mother, how many envy you for your children, those who have not been blessed to have them? How many would be willing to take some of your burden for the privilege of having a son or daughter? And you, who have been blessed with such a precious gift, find it difficult to raise it?! Especially if your husband is a man of Torah, how fortunate you are, for in raising the children to Torah learning, you allow him to study Torah in peace, sharing in his Torah.

As the Gemara (Berachot 17a) states, in what merit do women partake in the Resurrection of the Dead since they are not engaged in Torah study? The Gemara answers that they share in the Torah of their sons and husbands. So, you are building here your merit for the Resurrection of the Dead. Is there a treasure more precious than this?!

Furthermore, the salvation of a person in life and after death lies in their children walking in the way of Hashem. After 120 years, you will need their help to save you from all harm, and how worthwhile all your investment will be then.

"Their Help I Will Need After 120 Years"

In this context, there is a wonderful story about the mother of Rabbi Eliyahu Lapian, who was a mother of ten, and during hard times many removed their sons from yeshiva to help with income. They came to Rabbi Eliyahu's mother and suggested she remove one or two of her sons to help ease the financial burden. She replied: As things are now, I can manage without their help, I will need their help after 120 years to save me from Gehenna, and for that, I save this opportunity for their help by ensuring they grow in Torah and fear of Heaven.

We must reinforce faith in divine providence, that every child's upbringing is destined from above and this is the exact way these parents must raise these children, and it's their true good. Providence decides why this child must fall to these specific parents, how his upbringing will be easy or challenging, all in the just decree of heaven, the righteous judgment for both the child and the parents—it is written "The judgments of Hashem are true and righteous altogether."

* When the son prays and sanctifies the Name publicly, he redeems his parents from Gehenna. (Rama, Yoreh De'ah, Section 276)

* "And they shall live with their children and return" (Zechariah 10:9) — meaning the parents refrain from descending to Gehenna by the merit of their children's life. (Neshamat Chaim)

* And when the son prays and sanctifies publicly, he redeems his parents from Gehenna. (Kol Bo)

The article is taken from the book "Living in Faith." To purchase the book by Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Lugasi click here.