The Test of Faith: Why You Shouldn't Ask 'Why?'

A man asked his wife before leaving for work to organize something for him during the day. He arrives in the afternoon and asks, "Did you do what I requested?" She responds, "Sorry, I didn't have time," or perhaps, "I simply forgot," and so on. Immediately, he bursts out, "Why did you forget? Why didn't you do what I asked?" and more such 'Why' questions.

The man thinks this does not reflect a flaw in his faith, because, after all, he is a believer, and all his anger is directed at his wife, which he considers a separate matter. But isn't this a lack of faith in Hashem's guidance, who does and will do everything? A person indeed has free will and can choose to act or not, but the final outcome demonstrates Hashem's will. Since what happened has already occurred, it is Hashem's will that it be so and not something else.

Today in the world, among people, including those who believe and observe commandments, phrases like: "Ugh...! How annoying...! Oh, such a shame...! Really frustrating...! Enough, already tired of it...! How much can one bear...?! How did I forget...?! How did I make that mistake...?! Why did I ignore it...?! I'm so stupid...?!" are common.

The Midrash raises a claim against our patriarch Jacob for the word "Why" when he said, "Why did you treat me so badly as to tell the man that you had another brother?" (Genesis 43:6), and Hashem took issue with him by saying "Why do you say, Jacob, and why do you speak, Israel, that my way is hidden from Hashem" (Isaiah 40:27), (Midrash Rabbah Genesis 43:6).

Why? How Come? - That's All I Asked!

Hashem does not like when people say "Why".

Our patriarch Jacob said "Why" once in his life, and Hashem took him to task for it. A person should consider how many times in an hour he says "Why".

- "Why isn't the food ready yet?"

- "Why didn't you wash my clothes?"

- "Why didn't you tell so and so this or that?"

- "Why isn't the house tidy?"

And many more such 'Why' questions can a person throw at his wife, children, or friends throughout the day.

How often do words like "Ugh...!" come out of his mouth, if it's about lack of success in his writing and work, or about impatience due to others' disturbances, and sometimes this "Ugh" is directed towards a parent or teacher too, falling into the additional trap of undermining faith and disrespecting parents and teachers.

Truly, all events, even the small ones that upset a person, like sleep disturbances, parking space grabs, various delays in the flow of life, and the like, are "investments" Hashem takes from a person. Hashem demands from the person to invest to reap immense rewards. Therefore, He asks for silence in times of anger and upset, to restrain and conquer one's anger and will, submitting them to Heaven's will, and with this minor investment, Hashem rewards him with great treasures bestowed upon those who truly trust in Hashem, believing that everything is for the best.

Hence, each step, even the smallest, should be seen as an investment yielding profits. Or at least as covering debts, where with minimal payments a person covers enormous obligations, isn't that worth it? Thus, one should see in every frustrating event how through it, they gain rewards, or at least cover large debts by making small paybacks.

The faith instilled in a person from youth suffices as long as they do not face trials, but when confronted with challenges, their weak faith cannot stand up to it. (Rabbi Yitzchak Levenstein ztz"l)

This article is excerpted from the book "Living with Faith". To purchase the book by Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Lugasi, click here.