Test of Faith: I Waited in Line for Hours and Realized I'd Forgotten the Document Again...

One of the many details concerning which one must pay attention to divine providence is the matter of forgetfulness.

On a hot day, a person arrives sweating to take care of something at an office, or in the cold they come determinedly to ensure their affairs are in order, especially when the line is long and the wait is prolonged and nerve-wracking. The person waits and waits, and finally, when it is their turn, it turns out they have forgotten an important document without which they cannot resolve the matter. And while they are stunned, disappointed, pained, and regretful - the clerk, without feeling their sorrow at all, asks them to make room for the next in line...

How much faith is needed to accept such events with love, and these are everyday occurrences in our lives.

The Providence of Memory and Forgetfulness

A person goes to work, a drive of more or less an hour, arrives at work, and realizes they forgot to swipe their attendance card at the clock-in device, what should they do now? They can't return home, as by the time they go and come back, it will take hours more. So they must go to the office to ask for verification that they arrived on time, which is not so pleasant and even irritating...

Someone forgets where they put their car keys or house keys, forgets where they placed specific clothing, or forgets to mention something important in a discussion, especially in front of a court, or in business settings with a client or partner. Due to forgetting to mention a specific point, they might lose or cause damage. And then the person severely tortures themselves, wondering why they didn't say this or that since they could have profited more; how did they forget a detail which, if mentioned, would have earned them wisdom and correctness instead of foolishness and error.

Especially during a dispute with a neighbor or friend, when one wishes to justify themselves and forgets a crucial detail by which they could have defended and justified their stance, and in their forgetfulness, they come out embarrassed and guilty. They are tormented internally, questioning why they didn't argue this or that since then they would have gained more, come out correct, come out with honor...

One must know that in understanding it is said (Job 12:20): "He removes the speech of the trustworthy and takes away the wisdom of the elders," and it is said (Proverbs 16:1): "To man belong the plans of the heart, but from Hashem comes the response of the tongue," and it is said (Proverbs 19:21): "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but the counsel of Hashem, that will stand."

Meaning, you can plan your matters or speeches and formulate them in the best way, and in the end, the actual outcomes will not be according to what you planned; you will do something else and say something else from what you intended because the answer of the tongue is from Hashem.

All these events occur under divine providence, and the Creator in His wisdom and marvelous capabilities arranges for everyone according to the need for the preparation of their perfection, suitable ways to accomplish their duty for their ultimate purpose. A person can live for dozens of years without noticing at all the Creator's intention in guiding them or sees everything as happenstance, ignores and denies, or at least fails to contemplate their purpose. But their purpose is to stand up to the many tests—"moment by moment He examines him"—with which Hakadosh-baruch-hu tests him multiple times every day, to test his faith. And the person does not understand what Hashem wants from him and goes through life ignoring and foolishly dismissing all the days of his life.

In contrast, the wise person understands that this entire world is a trial and test, and Hakadosh-baruch-hu in His wisdom and wonders prepares a series of tests every day, sometimes difficult, sometimes easy, to test him and grade him as a righteous person who believes in his Creator. All these tests are tests of love, as it is said, "Hashem tests the righteous," to raise the man's stature, and this insightful person receives all his events with love, opens his eyes to see that the Creator is speaking to him through every event, saying My son, this is from Me, this is a test I am testing you with, and it is all for your own good.

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Know my sons, that sometimes from the heavens a transgression is sent to a person because in heaven there is a lack of a broken heart, and this comes to him due to the transgression, or they want to test him with a trial of sadness. The main thing is never to look at what has passed, just to look forward like a military command, to always strengthen in faith and joy with great steadfastness. (Shu"a)

The article is taken from the book "Chai b'Emunah." To purchase Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Lugasi's book click here.