Why Is It Hard for Me to Turn to The Creator of The Universe?

No Jew has a problem with belief. Every Jew has faith. Faith is something that is well-known and agreed upon even among Christians and Muslims, except for those who run away from everything that might impose some obligation on them, as mentioned by Rabbi Elchanan Wasserman zt”l. If faith is accepted by other nations, how much more so among the people of Israel, for whom faith and the connection with the Creator is a relationship like that of a parent and children, as it is said (Deuteronomy 14:1): "You are children to Hashem your God." Our history cries out faith, starting from the miracles of the Exodus, the giving of the Torah, the miraculous entry into the Land of Israel, to this very day when we are surrounded by enemies who hate us—like a sheep among seventy wolves—the great shepherd saves us from their hands.

Our problem is not believing in the God of the universe. Our problem is having trust in Him. This is the root of all our problems. We lack full trust in the Creator. We lack trust that He loves us with infinite love. We lack the faith and confidence that He stands behind us, watches over us from windows and peeks in through cracks to watch and care for us, lest we be lost in the long exile. Even though our suffering in exile seems to indicate otherwise, as we will explain later, it does not detract from His love.

This is the reason why people fall into despair and lack confidence in turning to Hashem, because they are not sure that they are loved by Him. Especially when they find themselves in situations where it seems to them that in such situations the Creator abandons them and leaves them to themselves, disconnecting from the Creator out of a feeling that He hates them, or at the very least does not love them. We must know that the Creator's love for His people never diminishes in any situation!!

The absence of this knowledge is what causes us to live in fear and tension because we think everything is up to us, lacking confidence in the Creator who is ready to help us in any situation if we turn to Him.

The absence of this knowledge is what causes us, whenever we encounter distress, to be immediately consumed by despair, for we lack the trust in the Creator who loves us and can solve our problems in an instant.

Another consequence of not having this knowledge that the Creator's love for us is never diminished, is that when we fail in sin, we immediately feel broken and hated, and this feeling lowers us from one low point to another, because how can we draw strength, encouragement, and hope for a better state when our feeling is one of abandonment, disdain, and neglect?!

Everything Comes from Love...

And with this, we add a necessary point to the well-known points of faith, which is—not enough to believe that everything is under divine providence, everything is just, everything is for the good, but also, everything comes from love!

Let's explain. A person needs surgery, schedules a date for it, and when the time arrives, asks, who will be the surgeon? They answer, a certain doctor... whom the patient does not know at all.

We ponder, certainly this doctor means well for the patient, intending to operate and heal, but how does the patient still fear? Will there be dedication, compassion, or care from this doctor? They are a stranger to me...

Conversely, let's assume the story is different; a great doctor specializes in his field for a particular illness and is the number one expert in the world in this area, and behold, not another but his beloved son is the one who fell ill with that disease, and the only way to save him is for the father alone to handle the treatment. Let's consider how such a son approaches surgery—with full confidence, as he knows that the treatment will be carried out with loyalty, compassion, and boundless love. In such a treatment, the patient has no doubts.

This knowledge is essential and very necessary for the existence and establishment of human souls, and it is the belief that the Creator's commitment never departs from a person, both in times of punishment when it seems that the Creator has removed His support, and in times of failure and sin, which similarly imply rebuke and anger. Indeed, the sinner is rebuked, but it is not at the expense of the Creator's commitment and love for the person that is everlasting, and His desire is for us to succeed and emerge from states of punishment and sin, and His guidance with us in these situations is aimed for our salvation, like a father caring for his son with all consideration and a desire for success.

It's not enough to believe that everything is for the good and that, like a doctor who instructs a patient, not caring whether they heed or not, the matter with the Creator is not so. The Creator not only does what He does for our benefit but desires the success of the treatment. This knowledge instills in a person confidence and hope for salvation and success, for in knowing that the Creator desires them, cares for them, and does everything for their success, they will accept everything with love and stand firm in every situation, knowing that their treatment is done by a loving and compassionate being.

If the Creator Wants My Success, Why Fear Not Succeeding...?

And not only that, this knowledge brings additional benefit, and it is the person's belief in themselves that they will succeed in their mission and purpose, and will ultimately come to their completion and good. This is because if the Creator desires and wants their success, is there any doubt that it will come to pass?!

This is also a response to the many who fall into feelings of fear and anxiety lest Hashem leaves them, abandons them, and forfeits them, for they see the Creator's conduct with them measured by justice, and this is the answer they have to calm themselves—that if the Creator desires and wants the success of His way with them, surely the way will succeed, and only on the condition that they do not abandon Hashem, then Hashem will certainly not abandon them, and they will succeed therein by the power of this, understanding to have faith in Hashem's loyalty that does not abandon His people, as it is said (Psalms 94:14): "For Hashem will not leave His people, nor forsake His inheritance."

Moreover, this removes the cursed phenomenon ensnaring most people—lacking belief in themselves that they can stand in their mission of observing the Torah and commandments and cannot overcome their inclination. Surely, if they believe that the Creator desires and is intent on their success, they will believe in themselves, strive and exert themselves, believe that they will eventually succeed, not step back from any trial in which they failed, cling to the goal even after many falls—"seven times the righteous will fall and get up"—out of the belief that if the Creator commanded me, surely I can, and surely I will succeed! If only I exert and strive to do what I can, immediately I will receive assistance from the Creator to complete my role and purpose, and as our sages promised: "One who comes to purify, they help him," and they also said: "Open for me an opening the size of a needle's eye, and I will open for you an opening like the entrance of a hall."

This article is taken from the book "Living With Faith." To purchase Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Lugassi's book click here.