Faith
The Baal Shem Tov’s Three Loves: How to Overcome Envy and Rejoice in Others’ Success
True love of God, Torah, and our fellow Jew means celebrating another’s blessings as if they were your own
It is said in the name of the holy Baal Shem Tov that a Jew must cultivate three loves: love of God, love of the Jewish nation, and love of the holy Torah.
One cannot truly love one without the other. If we see a fellow Jew who inspires the public, who is beloved by many, but instead of rejoicing we feel uncomfortable, envious, or even attempt to disparage him, this indicates that all three loves are lacking in us. Certainly, we are not loving God, for His joy is immense when one Jew brings Torah and fear of Heaven to others. If we secretly wish for our friend’s success to diminish, then God’s love is absent from our hearts.
Nor do we truly love our fellow Jew — for a genuine friend delights in another’s success and prays for him to continue to prosper, just as we would want to see our own children succeed. Envy is the opposite of love.
If we are jealous of another’s Torah success, clearly, we do not love the Torah either. True love of Torah would lead us to support him, encourage him, and even help bring more students to his classes, celebrating that the Torah is being spread among Israel.
Imagine that you could hear the thoughts of others. Suppose you were injured, and in that moment you heard your study partner thinking: “He deserved this! Finally, people will see he isn’t so perfect. Now they’ll realize I am better than him.” You would feel deeply betrayed, and the next time he asked you for help, it would be difficult to assist him.
That, the sages teach, is the way God feels when He perceives a Jew wishing for another’s downfall. Such thoughts create heavenly accusers who stand before God and say: “Master of the Universe, do You want to bless this person, when all he desires is for his fellow Jew to fall beneath him?”
I myself give a weekly Torah class every Tuesday night, with about fifty to eighty participants. Once, the synagogue trustees urged me to come see another rabbi’s lecture. The hall was overflowing with about 250 people packed inside, and more standing outside. In that moment, the evil inclination stirred within me: “Look, he draws far more people than you.”
Instead, I paused and thought: how much delight God must feel right now! How much joy in Heaven when hundreds of Jews are smiling, listening, and strengthening their faith. At that moment, I wanted to embrace the rabbi who was giving such pleasure to the Divine Presence. Since then, whenever his lecture time arrives, I remind myself how happy God must be.
This lesson extends even into our homes. A husband returns weary from work and sees his wife asleep, and he resents it: “I work so hard, and she rests.” Or on Friday afternoon, as the wife labors for Shabbat, the husband announces: “I’m going to rest for Shabbat.” She replies angrily: “Rest? While I’m slaving away?” Even if he offers to help, she keeps piling on tasks so he won’t sleep while she works.
If we stop to think, when our spouse rests well, God rejoices. If our partner wakes refreshed and happy, we too benefit. Why should we begrudge the joy of those we love, when their happiness increases God’s joy as well?
Similarly, when we sit in traffic and see someone in another car smiling for no reason, how often do people scoff: “What’s he so happy about? Doesn’t he know how bad the economy is, or how tense the political situation is?” In truth however, God delights in that person’s joy. If we begrudge even that, we are not only blind to God’s kingship, but we cause Him sorrow by rejecting the joy He receives from His children.
When our friend has a child, God Himself rejoices, for the redemption is brought closer, and another Jew has entered the world to fulfill Torah and mitzvot. Shouldn’t we join in His joy?
When our friend buys a bright, spacious home, God rejoices that he can now raise his family and study Torah in peace. Shouldn’t we also rejoice in God’s happiness?
When a neighbor buys a new car while ours is old, if his heart is gladdened, surely there is joy in Heaven as well. Shouldn’t we share in that joy too, for God’s sake?
