"I'm Looking for Signs in Life!"

Judith asks:

"Hello, I wanted to ask - whenever something bothers me, I look for 'signs.' For example, I flip a coin, and based on which side it lands, I get my answer. Or I call someone and make a sign with myself that if she answers before three rings, the answer is 'yes,' and if after, it's 'no.' I'm really addicted to this and do these signs all day... I would like to know if this is allowed according to the Torah."

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Hello Judith,

You've asked an important question, as many in our generation mistakenly seek guidance in their lives through signs, or believe in signs invented by non-Jews to predict hidden futures, turning to mediums and fortune tellers.

The Torah forbids all these: "You shall not practice divination or soothsaying" (Leviticus 19:26). Divination is managing our lives according to random signs: "Like those who divine with rodents and birds, his bread fell from his mouth, a deer crossed his path"; soothsaying refers to future tellers who say: "This day is good to begin a task, this hour is difficult to go out" (Rashi there).

Engaging in these is called an abomination in the Torah: "There shall not be found among you... a soothsayer, an enchanter, a diviner, a sorcerer, a charmer, a consulter with familiar spirits, a wizard, or a necromancer, for all that do these things are an abomination unto Hashem" (Deuteronomy 18:10).

There's no doubt that we must examine our actions and find the hand of divine providence in our lives. Just as we are forbidden to eat all types of foods, there is kosher meat like there is treif meat, so too is there allowed faith and faith that is forbidden and harmful to us.

The belief that Hashem supervises all our actions and directs everything for our good is the most authentic and correct way to live. Every delay is for the good, even what seems to us now as bad is ultimately meant to benefit us in the end. Our lives are managed by the Creator of the world down to the smallest details - even when a person looks for money in his wallet and mistakenly takes out an incorrect amount, even this minor detail is decreed from Heaven as a refinement for his soul (Arachin 16b), all the more so in greater matters.

However, the belief that we have the power to predict what to do or not to do based on external and illogical signs is a very flawed approach, indicating a lack of faith in the benevolent guidance of Hashem in our lives. A person who trusts in his Creator does not need to seek random signs to benefit himself - because he has a Father who directs everything for his good. We must be simple with our Father in Heaven, placing ourselves in His hands like a small child trusting in the guidance of his father and mother who know his abilities and speak to him in his language.

Let us learn from Joseph the Righteous, who was sold into slavery in Egypt and imprisoned, but everything ultimately turned to his greatest benefit. Joseph acted with simplicity because he knew that only "Hashem has the solutions" (Genesis 40:8). One who believes that everything is for the good trusts that Hashem will guide them simply and does not guess at what isn't explicitly told. Joseph trusted that Hashem would put the right words in his mouth and guide his actions on the best path, and so it was.

In contrast, there is arrogance in believing that we can guess hidden matters or predict the future. For what Hashem wanted you to know, you know, and what He did not want, you do not need to know now. Our uniqueness over all nations has always been that we rely on Hashem in all our affairs and not on fortune-tellers, divinations, horseshoes, or black cats. We have only Hashem our God! Hashem is one and absolute, and He alone did, does, and will do all actions.

Our holy Torah guides us with personal guidance for life: "You shall be wholehearted with Hashem your God" (Deuteronomy 18:13), and Rashi explains: "Walk with Him in simplicity and hope for Him, and do not search out the future, rather what befalls you, accept with simplicity, and then you will be with Him and His portion."

It is also said: "The hidden things belong to Hashem our God, but the revealed things are for us and our children forever, to fulfill all the words of this Torah" (Deuteronomy 29:28).

This guidance is reflected in halacha: since the Torah was given on Sinai, we are commanded to study it according to our ability and to make halachic rulings only according to human reasoning: "It is not in heaven, to say, 'Who will go up to heaven for us and bring it to us and make us hear it, so that we may do it?... Rather, it is very close to you, in your mouth and in your heart, to do it" (Deuteronomy 30:12).

Hashem does not want us to seek His halachic guidance in secrets and hidden things. The sages faced this trial, not to interpret the Torah according to signs, and later heard a Divine Voice saying to them "My sons have defeated Me, My sons have defeated Me!" (Bava Metzia 59b).

It's important to understand that everything stated here is a serious Torah commandment. Hashem forbids the Jew from divining his future and managing his actions according to signs and practices of divination. Maimonides ruled in the Mishneh Torah:

"You shall not practice divination like the Gentiles, as it says, 'You shall not practice divination' - what is divination: like those who say, because I dropped my bread [or staff] from my hand, I won't go to such a place today, for if I do, my wishes won't be done; because a fox passed on my right, I won't leave my house today, for if I leave, I will be met by a deceitful person. And so those who hear the chirping of birds and say this will happen and not happen, it's good to do this or bad to do that...

And likewise, one who sets signs for themselves, if this and that happens, I will do this action, and if not, I will not, like Eliezer, servant of Abraham. All such things are forbidden; anyone who acts because of any of these things, lashes" (Laws of Idolatry, Chapter 11, 4).

Further, Maimonides explains that the Torah prohibits also approaching "fortune tellers," such as those reading cards and coffee. All these matters were forbidden by the Torah, not only so we do not fall into the belief of all those charlatans who use deception and powers of impurity, but primarily because by showing our complete faith in Hashem, He alone guides and directs us for the better, revealing to us what we need to know, and hiding from us what we do not need to know as our sages taught:

"In that which is beyond you, do not seek, and in that which is concealed from you, do not investigate. Contemplate what you are permitted, you have no business with the hidden" (Chagigah 13a), and Rashi explains: "In that which is beyond you – that which is separated and set apart from you that Hashem did not wish to reveal to you."

Do not feel that you are losing something by not pursuing such inquiries. Know that all these imaginary investigations do not point to truth, for Jews are above fortune: "There is no fate for Israel [meaning Israel is not subject to fortunes and fates] From where is it learned that there is no fate for Israel? As it is said: 'Thus says Hashem, Do not learn the way of the nations and do not be dismayed at the signs of heaven, for the nations are dismayed at them'; nations are dismayed, but not Israel" (Shabbat 156a).

Even if a fortune teller could tell you your future without error and without lying, it still wouldn't necessarily be how things would be, because as a Jew you have the power to change your fate through your actions - the prayers and commitments you make for yourself. Rosh Hashanah is a time prone to break decrees and change our fate for the better.

Our sages taught us that charity can save from a death decree. Even when a sharp sword rests upon a person's neck - they should not despair of praying for mercy (Berachot 10a). This is why we increase our repentance, prayer, and charity on Rosh Hashanah - because the destiny and fortune of every Jew can be changed through them.

All this is assuming that your question pertains to perspective, and there is no personal issue behind it.

Not necessarily do you suffer from these issues, but habits like the ones you've described can indicate a lack of self-confidence and perhaps a mild form of obsessiveness (OCD), commonly seen in "cleanliness obsessed" or "perfectionists." Compulsive people may wash their hands many times, or check repeatedly if they locked the door. Intrusive thoughts can cause a person to consistently seek irrational signs in life as if Hashem expects them to be a prophet or a fortune teller, fearing that Hashem might set them up for failure if they do not engage in these ritualistic signs and scrutinize every detail.

The Steipler, in his book "Karyana D'Igerta" (Letter 376) addresses this issue, and ruled for someone suffering from this problem to ease up on themselves and not pay attention to the small details, but to act according to the main law to break free from their fears. One needs to break the vicious cycle of meticulousness to behave in the manner of the land like all Torah and mitzvah observant, and remember in this context what our sages said: "Hashem does not deal harshly with His creations, and He only demands according to their ability" (Shemot Rabbah 34:1).

Therefore, if you find it very difficult to stop these habits despite your good intentions, do not hesitate to seek professional help. Psychologists know how to diagnose compulsiveness and treat this mild problem. Best of luck with Hashem's help!