To Love Ourselves – We Must Know Ourselves

Love is acquired through knowledge.

How can we love ourselves? You can acquire love through increasing knowledge. Love is not merely an emotion. It is something that can be acquired. This is how the Rambam teaches us in the Laws of Repentance:

"It is well known and clear that love for Hashem does not become tied to a person’s heart until they engage in it constantly and appropriately, abandoning all else in the world except for it [love of the Creator], as commanded: 'with all your heart and with all your soul.' One loves Hashem based on the knowledge of Him and according to that knowledge will be their love, whether little or much. Therefore, a person must dedicate themselves to understanding and comprehending wisdoms that inform them about their Creator, as much as a person has the power to understand and grasp." (Rambam, Laws of Repentance, Chapter 10). The Rambam teaches us that love for Hashem is acquired through knowledge of Him and understanding of His ways.

Through understanding and recognizing something, we reach love – so in order to love ourselves, we must know ourselves.

Understanding something and knowing it breeds love for it, and the degree of understanding correlates with the degree of love. For example, someone who knows how to play music also loves to play music. Similarly, someone who understands the secrets of commerce loves to engage in it. In general, a person loves what they are familiar with. The more they understand it, the greater their love for it grows. From this, we conclude that if we want to cultivate self-love, which is the foundation of our growth and love for Israel, we must deeply know ourselves and understand who we are. As the depth of our knowledge increases, so does our love…

And if you say, is self-love not obvious? Are we lacking in self-love, for don't we all naturally love ourselves?

Unfortunately, in our generation, many sad cases of domestic discord, depression, and more occur precisely because we lack appreciation and understanding of who we are and how valuable we are.

Most people do not truly love themselves nor truly know themselves!

Rabbi Tauber points out that, remarkably, the truth is that most people do not love themselves because they do not truly know themselves, as mentioned: through knowledge comes love.

When someone asks themselves: Who am I? They struggle to answer, as we've mistakenly learned to negate ourselves and not to love ourselves. We identify ourselves with actions such as: I am a faithful Jew, I study, I am against, I am for, I am a sister of, a daughter of, etc. We do not know how to define who we are inherently.

Thus, it is essential to know ourselves, recognize ourselves, and love ourselves, because from this place we can elevate ourselves and elevate others.

We Must Know Ourselves to Achieve Our Life's Goals

We need to know ourselves and our strengths, as things, if left vague, undoubtedly cause us to miss a significant portion of fulfilling our life’s goals. Also, in this way, we will not attain true joy, for only clear knowledge about oneself brings joy.

In material life, a person is aware and things are clear as to how to proceed. For instance, one would never open a factory without a clear plan of what and how to produce there, how to profit and not lose, who will be on the team, and so on. In every aspect of life, a person is aware of the purpose of their actions and how to execute them. One cannot live in this world without defining goals.

At least to the same extent, and much more, it is unthinkable to live in this world for 120 years, a world which is a corridor to the next one, which is our true life, without knowing the purpose of our lives, where we are headed, and what is expected of us in the eternal sense. A life lacking clarity and thorough examination is considered a thoughtless investment. This is also true for spirituality.

When We Know Ourselves, We Can Utilize Our Strengths

Only a person who knows the tremendous strengths given to them can utilize them properly. Without this recognition, much of it remains unused.

What is it like? Imagine someone who has been resurrected after passing away decades ago. This person is completely unaware of the wonders of technology. If they see a mobile phone, they wouldn't even remotely consider the possibility that this small device, which isn’t connected to any socket or wire, can be used to call across the globe. They do not know the potential contained within this device, as during their time, there were no landline phones, let alone mobile phones. Only after a detailed explanation of the device's 'powers' could they benefit from it.

This analogy is a small example for a person who has powers but is unaware of them. If we do not delve into the depth of the sacred words of our sages and do not search within to know who we are and what our role in our world is, we may live seventy years without knowing who we truly are and consequently not utilize the immense potential embedded in a Jewish soul, missing the essentials.

It is our duty to know ourselves and thus love ourselves; this is the introduction to the entire Torah, and only this can give us true, unconditional joy, from which comes elevation and progress.

To purchase the new book by Rebbetzin Esther Toledano, "Paths of Faith" at Hidabroot Shops Click here