Unconditional Love: The Key to Raising Children Who Stay Connected

To succeed in education, it is essential to value a child from within, without any conditions. We must not focus solely on talent or outward appearance, but instead recognize the deep inner essence of who the child truly is and who they can become. Children must be aware of the good within each of them, the divine image they carry, and their worth as children of God.

A child must feel that no matter what talents they have or how well they succeed in their studies, they will always be loved and valued. When a child feels loved unconditionally, they will naturally want to respect values instilled in them, the mitzvot, and their Creator. Even if a child drifts away, if they feel truly loved without condition, they will return.

This is the way God treats the Jewish people, saying: "Whether they act this way or that way, they are still My children" — He loves us as His children in every situation. God waits for us to return in repentance, but His love is never diminished, no matter our state.

In the Talmud (Kiddushin 36a), there is a dispute between Rabbi Yehuda and Rabbi Meir. Rabbi Yehuda says: "You are children of the Lord your God — only when you behave like children are you called children; if you do not behave like children, you are not called children." Meaning that Israel is only called God’s children when they act properly.

Rabbi Meir, however, says: "Whether you act this way or that way, you are still called children" (Sifrei Devarim, Re’eh), meaning that in every state, a Jew remains a child of God. Usually, when Rabbi Yehuda and Rabbi Meir disagree, the ruling follows Rabbi Yehuda, but here the halacha follows Rabbi Meir: "Whether you act this way or that way, you are still called children." A Jew remains a beloved child of their Father in Heaven no matter what!

The righteous say that this is why we invoke the phrase "Eloka d’Meir aneini" — “God of Meir, answer me.” Why specifically Rabbi Meir? Because sometimes we turn to God in prayer when we are not particularly worthy, and by invoking Rabbi Meir, we remind God of the halachic ruling in his merit — that "whether you act this way or that way, you are still called children", and we ask Him to answer us as a father answers a child, even if we are unworthy (Rabbi Yaakov Shealtiel Ninyo, Emet L’Yaakov).

We must follow God’s example, so that even if a child has drifted away or is not walking exactly in the path we had hoped, they are still a precious and beloved child. That unconditional bond is what will ultimately keep them close.