The Transformative Power of Appreciation: Why Believing in Others Unlocks Hidden Potential

For a person to truly recognize the potential within him, he needs someone to believe in him, to verbalize it and express it.

“You shall speak to all the wise-hearted, whom I have filled with the spirit of wisdom, that they may make Aaron’s garments” (Exodus 28:3). God tells Moses to speak to the wise-hearted men who were to build the Mishkan, men whom He had already filled with wisdom, and to instruct them on how to make Aaron’s priestly garments.

The Chatam Sofer explains that in every person there is wisdom hidden deep inside, but unless someone comes along to awaken it, it remains buried like a seed that decays underground if it is never watered and nurtured. God therefore tells Moses to say explicitly to them: “I have filled you with the spirit of wisdom.” Just by hearing these words of affirmation, they were stirred to bring their hidden talents into reality.

When someone expresses genuine appreciation and belief in another, that person can recognize his gifts and activate them. Without it, he struggles. If even one person believes in him, that belief can ignite powerful forces within, bringing hidden goodness to light.

Sometimes, when no one else is there, that “someone” may even need to be ourselves. By learning to believe in ourselves, affirming our own strengths, or seeking the help and encouragement we need, we can begin to develop the confidence for success.

Broken Foundations: When Appreciation is Missing in Childhood

The human being is compared to a building: “ben” (son) comes from binyan (building), “bat” (daughter) from bayit (house). A house cannot stand without strong foundations. Likewise, a child cannot grow without the foundational building blocks of love, warmth, and appreciation.

If a child grows without this base, his inner “building” is unstable. Eventually, the personal, emotional, and even family structure risks collapsing. Many of today’s struggles including depression, resentment, and broken homes, stem from this lack of solid foundations.

When we give our children appreciation, listening, and nurturing love, this builds the foundation for the rest of their lives. Without it, they cannot develop a healthy self-image or a strong sense of worth.

Self-Worth Leads to Spiritual Growth

A Jewish soul must be inflated like a balloon with self-belief, self-worth, and love. Only from a foundation of healthy self-esteem can true humility develop — humility that does not break a person but uplifts him.

Showing appreciation and warmth is not optional, but essential. By expressing love, listening deeply, and giving our children a sense of being wanted and cherished, we build resilient human beings. This enables them to grow into adults who radiate confidence, joy, love of God, and love of others.

The Three Circles of Human Development

The Maharal teaches that human wholeness comes only through three circles:

1. A person’s relationship with himself (the inner circle, the foundation).

2. A person’s relationship with others.

3. A person’s relationship with God.

If the inner circle is weak — if a child lacks self-worth, he will struggle in relationships with others and in serving God. When a child is raised with love and appreciation, he feels God’s love as well.

In our prayers we say: “You chose us… You loved us… You wanted us… You elevated us… and You sanctified us with Your commandments.” Only after knowing that God chose, loved, and wanted us can we truly move on to keeping His commandments with joy.

A Story: How One Word of Appreciation Changed a Life

There was once a yeshiva student who tried hard but could not succeed in learning. He was on the verge of despair, and everyone assumed it was only a matter of time before he would leave.

One day, by chance, he saw someone practicing CPR on a dummy. He watched closely, not realizing the knowledge was sinking in.

The very next day, another student suddenly collapsed. The others panicked, not knowing what to do. But this struggling student, remembering what he had just seen, sprang into action. He performed CPR exactly as he had observed, and miraculously, he saved the boy’s life.

When paramedics arrived and heard what happened, they exclaimed in admiration: “You saved your friend’s life! You did everything exactly right!”

For the first time in his life, he received genuine, heartfelt recognition. Those words of appreciation transformed him and from that moment, he was filled with new strength, began studying seriously, and slowly gained the respect of his peers. He began to flourish, because someone believed in him.

Appreciation is not a luxury, but is the very oxygen of the soul.