Paths of Faith: How to Cultivate Willpower?

Ruchama Mandelheil, a mentor and supporter of the Shakuf approach, gave us some exercises to develop willpower:

1. Discovering the Will: Everyone has desires, but sometimes the goal gets confused; therefore, I must sit with a clear mind and discover what my true desire is.

Imagine being in the land of limitless possibilities—seek a free wish, allow myself to bring up all my desires without filtering them, and then I must sift out the true desire according to Hashem's will.

2. Clarifying the Will: Polish the diamond we've found, the true desire, and determine what exactly the desire is and how we wish to fulfill it. If the desire is negative, remove the shells and find the good desire hiding within.

3. Persistence of Will: Formulate and strengthen the idea and persist in it every day anew. Examine and see how to implement it.

4. Remember that outcomes are in Hashem's hands: The desire lies with the person and depends on their decision to want, and the outcomes lie with Hashem—one does not blame the person for not yielding results but for not wanting enough.

Tools to Help Turn Desire into Action

1. Asking the Right Questions – Don’t ask myself why the situation is such, but what I can do to move forward, and then develop my desire in the right direction. Good questions focus me in the right direction to awaken the desire and turn it into action.

2. Power of Decision – Many hear and know what to do, but do not turn it into action. Therefore, it is a must to decide what my desire is, and after deciding what my desire is, I must decide to invest all my efforts to fulfill that desire I have decided upon. When we decide with conviction—heaven will guide us to succeed in maintaining it.

It's very important to invest in our decision, we must know that our decision can affect generations. Rabbi Meir Shapiro, of blessed memory, decided to promote the idea of the daily daf, so every Jew, wherever he is, would learn the same page of Talmud each day. He acted and did for his decision, and because of him, thousands of Jews complete the Talmud every seven years. Likewise, Mrs. Sarah Schenirer, may she rest in peace, decided to open Beit Yaakov and did everything to realize that decision—and where would we be today without Beit Yaakov, which saved daughters from assimilation and built generations of girls following the Torah path. Our decisions can also affect generations. It's so important to decide, to desire, and from there to move forward.

To Successfully Make Decisions and Progress:

• Our decision must be so strong that we don't consider society's and environment's opinions, and even if they mock us, we will continue to act.

All the inventors who changed the world endured mockery and scorn at the beginning. By ignoring and moving forward despite the lack of faith from the environment, they succeeded. Such was the case with Edison, the inventor of electricity, the Wright brothers who built the first airplane, and many others. Their decision to keep investing was steadfast—and the whole world owes them for it.

• Make decisions in advance, write them down on paper, and do everything to fulfill them.
• Think about what I most want to improve, and think practically about how to improve—set a clear plan and stick to it.
• It's very important to encourage ourselves—acknowledge the importance of the matter, how it benefits me, what I will gain from it. Truly conduct positive brainwashing for yourself.

It's important also to encourage myself that I am capable and that I have the strengths.

The encouragement must be instilled at a fixed time and not only during the confrontation.

Encouragement should be short and in the present tense—not saying: "I will succeed" but "I am succeeding now". "I am changing now".

• It's important to convince myself that the pleasure from the decision will be greater than the thing we prevented ourselves from through the decision. We were born to delight in Hashem—the joy I am going to receive from my decisions and the boundaries I will need to set for myself to stick to the decision, will give me much more satisfaction than the thing I will forgo for the sake of realizing the decision. For instance, if I decided to diet for my health, my pleasure from being healthy and light is greater than the pleasure from eating the cake.
• It's very important to create a supportive environment for ourselves—a spouse or someone else to support us through the process, to take an interest in us and encourage us to progress.

Let us harness the power of decision that will help us shape the desire we want to fulfill, decide that this is our desire now that will stand at the top of our priority list, decide to invest firmly in it and do everything to realize the desire, and we will merit heavenly assistance.

In order for us to indeed be able to make strong decisions and arouse the desire to act, we must accept and appreciate ourselves, as this is the power according to the sages for advancement.

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