From Suffering to Strength: How Life’s Trials Can Elevate the Soul

Rabbi Yitzchak Meir Alter, the Chiddushei HaRim (the first Gerrer Rebbe), tragically lost thirteen children. When he returned from the funeral of his last son and sat shiva (the seven-day mourning period), no trace of sadness could be seen on him, as if he had not just returned from such a devastating event. His wife asked him:

“How are you able to do this?”

He replied: “The sack of troubles, God gives. The anguish of heart, a person takes upon themselves. I’m not, God forbid, lessening the difficulty of such a great trial, but here we have a tangible example of how the correct perspective on life’s challenges can ease their burden.”

We can turn tzarah (trouble) into ratzah (will), by choosing to remember and feel that everything is from Him. We must remember that this is how the song of life is composed, of rises and falls. A melody cannot be in one note alone; its tones rise and fall, and so is the song of the soul.

It is told of a Jewish cobbler in Vilna named Zelig, a poor and kind man content with what he had. One day he suddenly inherited a large fortune, becoming a millionaire — rising from the depths to the heights, but he did not lose his gentle nature. He had one beloved daughter and longed to marry her to a Torah scholar. With his newfound wealth, he was able to arrange her marriage to the rabbi’s son. It was the happiest day of his life!

As he walked her to the wedding canopy, full of joy, a wealthy townsman — who resented the cobbler’s sudden rise, came over, took off his shoe, waved it mockingly in the air, and asked:
“Zelig, how much would you charge to fix this shoe?”

So deeply embarrassed, Zelig fainted, struck his head, and died on the spot.

From this incident, Rabbi Yisrael Salanter founded the Mussar Movement, to awaken people to the seriousness of unrefined character traits. His aim was that people should be careful not to hurt others, but also that people should train themselves not to be so shattered by insults that they lose control.

Even when life hurts and is difficult, we must not fall. We must be like oil that floats above the water. We should strive to rise above our troubles, ask ourselves: “What is God asking of me in this test? What must I fix?” and not add sorrow upon sorrow, nor bring down those around us who are not to blame for our suffering.

Let us follow the path of the righteous, who even in hard times rise and strengthen themselves. Twice in Tanach the words “on the bed” appear: about Jacob it says, “And Israel strengthened himself and sat up on the bed” (Genesis 48:2); and about Haman: “And Haman fell upon the bed” (Esther 7:8). The Ba’al HaTurim explains: These verses show the difference between the righteous and the wicked. The righteous, even in their old age and weakness, strengthen themselves — “and sat up on the bed.” The wicked, even in their strength and power, fall — “and Haman fell upon the bed.”

Two Perspectives on Life’s Challenges

To cope with suffering, we must first understand that everything depends on our perspective of the world and its hardships. People generally fall into two categories:

1. The “Hotel Guest” – This person sees the world as a place only for pleasure and enjoyment. Their goal is to have fun during their 80 years of life, forgetting their life’s purpose. For them, every difficulty is unnecessary. They believe everything is owed to them, they set all the rules, and think only of themselves. Everyone around must serve them so they can maximize enjoyment. Everything should go according to their will, as if they run the world.

   Troubles are the antithesis of their worldview. They cannot accept them, for hardships shake their belief that the world exists only to serve them. They may remain calm when all is well, but the moment something goes wrong (and in this world, many things do), they lose control, sometimes even needing psychiatric help. Their “graph” in life tends to show a steady decline, the inevitable result of their misguided outlook.

2. The “Training Camp Soldier” – This person is an idealist, not here to party but to grow. They are ready to endure hardship and suffering because they see this world as training for something greater — eternal life in the World to Come. They see everything differently: challenges are essential tools for growth and opportunities to work on themselves, sent by God in perfect measure.

   This person loves challenges. Their life “graph” rises steadily, because “The righteous may fall seven times, yet they rise.” Their greatest joy comes from the challenge itself. They are constantly changing, working on themselves, and facing the precise tests God sends their way.

The Military Analogy

The “training camp” approach is like a soldier in basic training. In every army, soldiers are tested with extremely hard trials. They not only endure them because they know the purpose is to prepare them for battle, and they even want more training, because it will qualify them for an elite unit.

A young man once arrived at an army induction base wanting to join an elite unit. The senior officers asked: “Do you know what our unit demands?” “I don’t,” he replied, “but I want to join.” They told him: “You’ll undergo extreme hardships.” He agreed gladly. “You’ll have to carry very heavy loads.” He agreed again. “You’ll march for hours carrying almost nothing but a little water; some haven’t survived the march. You’ll need to navigate alone at sea with only a compass and reach safe shore.” Again, he agreed. The harder the challenges they listed, the happier he became, because he knew he would be joining a most elite unit.

Navy commandos have testified to grueling training: jumping into freezing water in the middle of winter in thin clothing, swimming a kilometer while barely able to breathe from the cold, and remaining in the water for six hours without moving. When asked if he really did it, one commando replied in surprise: “Of course! Do you know what it means to be in the naval commandos?!”

In the same way, soldiers fight for dangerous missions, because the harder and riskier the task, the greater the honor.

The Lesson for Life

In our spiritual lives, suffering and challenges are our training. They elevate us, broaden our soul’s horizons, and refine our character. Through them, we earn a place in the “elite unit” of God’s service. As the verse says: “I will be sanctified through those who are close to Me” (Vayikra 10:3).

For the “training camp” person, difficulties are welcome, because only through training can one rise, succeed, and reach wholeness. If however we see challenges as obstacles rather than opportunities, we resemble the wealthy American donor who funded an army training course. At the inauguration, she saw the uneven, rocky training ground and said: “Oh dear, it’s so uncomfortable! If needed, I’ll donate more money to make it smooth for our dear soldiers.” The guests smiled politely, knowing full well that only an uneven, difficult path can prepare soldiers to win the battle.