The Purpose of Pain in Judaism: How Suffering Awakens the Power of Prayer

A man once drove through the streets of Tel Aviv desperately searching for a parking spot. He was on his way to a crucial meeting and knew that if he didn’t find parking in the next few minutes, he’d be in serious trouble.

In his desperation, he looked up to Heaven and cried out:
“G-d, I know I haven’t been so good…but if You find me a parking spot right now, I promise I’ll start keeping kosher, observe Shabbat, put on tefillin, and give tzedakah. Just help me find a spot!”

No sooner had he finished his prayer than a car pulled out, right next to the building where his meeting was. A perfect space.
The man looked up again and said, “Never mind, G-d, I found one myself.”

The purpose of pain is to bring a person to prayer. When someone feels helpless and overwhelmed, they instinctively cry out to G-d. In that moment, they remember there's no one else to turn to except the One who brought the suffering upon them in the first place. That is the opening for reconnection.

We must remember however that the goal of suffering is not simply to get what we want and “move on,” but to deepen our bond with G-d. Prayer isn't a tool for convenience, but the purpose itself.

A Parable from the Maggid of Dubno

He tells of a king who longed for his daughter to need him. He tried various ways to prompt her to reach out, but she ignored his attempts. Finally, he sent dogs to chase her, and when she was cornered and terrified, she screamed: “Father! Save me!”

G-d wants to bring us good through prayer. He loves us with endless love and longs to give us from His abundance, but He waits for us to turn to Him. If we don’t, He may send us discomfort or suffering so that we remember Him. Even stubbing a toe can be a small angel nudging us: “Remember your Father in Heaven.”

There Is No One Else But G-d

Rachel was barren. She turned to Jacob and cried: “Give me children!” (Genesis 30:1) The numerical value of “give me” (hava li) is 12—hinting that she was destined to bear all 12 tribes, as the intended sole wife of Jacob.

Jacob responded harshly: “Am I in the place of G-d, who has withheld children from you?”

The Midrash (Bereishit Rabbah 71) says Rachel had hoped Jacob would pray for her, just like Isaac had prayed for Rebecca and been answered. But Jacob replied: “Don’t compare me to my father. Isaac and Rebecca had no children at all. But I already have children from Leah, Bilhah, and Zilpah. Why are you blaming me?”

The sages ask: Is that the way to speak to someone in pain?
They explain that because of his response, Rachel would bear a son (Joseph) whom all of Jacob’s other sons would one day bow to.

This seems hard to understand. How could Jacob, a righteous man, speak so coldly to his beloved wife?

Jacob wasn’t being cruel, but he sensed that Rachel was depending on him instead of G-d. He wanted her to direct her heart only to the One who could truly help. His message was: “Don’t rely on me. There is no one else but G-d.”

Why Were the Matriarchs Barren?

The sages ask: Why were the righteous matriarchs barren? The answer given is because G-d desires the prayers of the righteous.

This doesn’t mean that G-d enjoys their suffering, but that He longs for a relationship with us. He knows that if we go through life without ever turning to Him, we’ll arrive in the next world empty and distant.

He therefore gives us moments of struggle so we’ll turn to Him, pray, and reconnect. The real benefit of suffering is not only what we gain, but that we become someone who remembers G-d, clings to Him, and builds eternal merit.

Don’t Escape the Pain—Transform It Through Prayer

When faced with suffering, don’t waste it. Let it move you to deep, heartfelt prayer. Why go through pain and have it be for nothing?

Rav Shimshon Pincus zt”l writes in Nefesh Chayah: “When a person is in pain, he may say: ‘I don’t have strength to pray…I can’t learn now…’ But pain is like a vehicle—it can take you quickly to far and lofty places. If you don’t know how to drive, yes, it can crash. But if you learn to drive it right, it becomes your greatest asset.”

He continues: “Some people deal with emotional pain by going to the fridge and eating cake. That’s one way to respond, but in doing so, they miss a priceless treasure. Emotional pain is a gift! It’s an invitation to connect with G-d. Instead of turning it into a meaningful moment of prayer, they turn it into whipped cream…”

If a person chooses not to flee their suffering, and instead lives through it with awareness and growth, they can find the strength within to change and grow. The desire to live and to rise again, can become fuel for true spiritual life—to pray with intensity, to draw close to G-d, and to become a partner in His creation. In this way the pain becomes a Divine gift.

The Deepest Healing Comes Through Prayer

A top psychiatrist in Israel once said: “In my many years of experience, the most powerful form of healing for the soul is prayer.”

If from the depths of your pain you cry out to G-d, you draw a healing energy to yourself that reaches every level: physical, emotional, and spiritual. No therapeutic technique can replace heartfelt prayer.

The Chazon Ish on Faith and Prayer

The Chazon Ish zt”l wrote in his Collected Letters: “In every hardship, I hold fast to the belief that nothing happens by chance—it’s all from G-d’s personal supervision. Therefore, I strengthen myself in prayer to change the harsh decree. And so, I place less emphasis on human effort, because...effort is uncertain.”

In his writings on halachic conduct, he added: “We must remember that we have no power of our own. All we can do is awaken Divine mercy through our actions. Prayer and heartfelt pleas accomplish more than effort.”