Daily Halacha: Separation Between Boys and Girls

9909093r3In the book of Zechariah (12), the prophet foretold about the mourning that Israel would conduct for Messiah ben Joseph who would be killed in the war of Gog and Magog, and thus said the prophet: "And the land shall mourn, every family apart; the family of the house of David apart, and their wives apart; the family of the house of Nathan apart, and their wives apart; The family of the house of Levi apart, and their wives apart; the family of Shimei apart, and their wives apart; All the families that remain, every family apart, and their wives apart".

In the Talmud, tractate Sukkah (52a), it is explained that the purpose of this verse is to inform us that men and women should be separated even during mourning for the dead. And this is a logical deduction: if in the future when engaged in mourning and the evil inclination has no control over them, the Torah says men separately and women separately, when the evil inclination does control them, how much more so! These are the words of our sages in the Gemara.

From here we learn about the fundamental law requiring separation between men and women in various places. Our teacher, the Meiri in Kiddushin (81a) wrote: regarding what we learned that a man should not teach his son a profession among women, meaning that he should not seat a boy and a girl (a boy and a girl, referring to a male and female child) together for one profession, so that they will not become accustomed to each other and come to sin. Until here. From here we learn that separation is necessary not only between men and women whose desires are strong, but even between boys and girls there must be separation, so that they become accustomed to living in holiness, boys separately and girls separately, and not come to sin. Our sages have further discussed this matter in many places, which cannot be detailed within our framework.

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The Rambam (in chapter 6 of the Laws of Festivals) has already written that the court (when Israeli authority was in the hands of Torah scholars) is obligated to appoint officers during holidays to patrol and search in gardens, orchards, and by rivers, to prevent men and women from gathering together to eat and drink, which could lead to sin. And they should warn all the people not to mix men and women in their homes for celebration, to avoid sin, but rather all should be holy. And so it is in the words of Maran in the Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim, section 529). In the book Beit Shmuel (which is one of the commentaries on Maran's Shulchan Aruch on the Even Ha'ezer section, in section 62), he wrote in the name of Sefer Chassidim that if men and women sit together at a bride and groom's feast (referring to a forbidden manner, such as dancing together and the like), they should not say in the blessing of Zimun "Let us bless our God in whose dwelling there is joy," because there is no joy there, as there is concern for sinful thoughts.

In light of all the above, it is clear that it is a sacred obligation in every school conducted according to the Torah to ensure separation between boys and girls, especially in our generation where permissiveness has crossed all boundaries, and this is more necessary than ever. One should not listen to false claims, as if separate education leads to some obstacle, as claimed by those who lack understanding, for our sages of the Talmud were unparalleled experts in human psychology, and they understood human nature thoroughly. Experience has proven that separate education is more desirable and appropriate both academically and psychologically, and certainly from a spiritual perspective.

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Therefore, we should not, Heaven forbid, seek arguments against the Torah, as someone wrote, suggesting that in the "Bnei Akiva" youth movement, mixed education of boys and girls together should be instituted, presenting distorted proofs for his words that contradict the Torah. Certainly, one must not listen to such a person, and it is the duty of community leaders to inform their flock about all these Torah teachings, for anyone who institutes mixed education in schools or youth movements bears a great sin, and the magnitude of his transgression is immeasurable, as one cannot know the extent of the consequences that come from education not based on Torah.

Already about forty years ago, at an emergency conference of the rabbis of Israel, a written agreement was issued by our teacher Rabbi Ovadia Yosef of blessed memory, along with his friend the holy Admor Rabbi Israel Abuhatzeira of blessed memory (Baba Sali), stating that it is forbidden to establish mixed schools for boys and girls together, and that one who does so should not be cooperated with, as he breaches the fence of modesty, and "should be separated from the congregation of Israel." Blessed is he who upholds these words of Torah to do them, to keep the watch of holiness and purity in Israel, for wherever you find a fence against immorality, you find holiness.

Since we mentioned Admor Rabbi Israel Abuchatzira, this is an opportunity to mention his great appreciation and love for our great teacher of blessed memory, for when Rabbi Ovadia would come to him, the Admor would stand up at his full height, and when Rabbi Ovadia entered, Rabbi Israel blessed with the full blessing "Blessed are You, Hashem our God, King of the universe, who has imparted of His wisdom to those who fear Him," and applied to himself and Rabbi Ovadia the verse "And Israel loved Joseph," and told his trusted assistant at that time (Rabbi Abargil may he live a long and good life), that Rabbi Ovadia's soul was from the time of the Geonim, and it was not fitting for the generation that it descended in his time. He loved Rabbi Ovadia so much that he was always sorry when he didn't know in advance about the Rabbi's visit, for if he had known, he would have prepared properly for that visit.

Nevertheless, our great teacher Rabbi Ovadia wrote that in places where there aren't enough students for each class, and there is no possibility to establish a separate class for boys and for girls, because the Ministry of Education would not recognize it, and consequently there is concern that the children would go to study in schools where they would not learn anything about Torah, religion, and faith, in such a case one should choose the "lesser evil" and prefer that boys and girls study together in religious schools, rather than them studying in schools that are not religious at all. This is provided that they are very young, meaning in kindergarten and in elementary school up to third grade only, and he brought support for his words from the Gemara.

May Hashem grant us abundant holy satisfaction from all the children of Israel, and may the merit of the Torah protect you a thousandfold. Amen.