"Stand on Your Emotional Feet": Restoring Faith to a Soldier Without Legs

An extraordinary phone call recently reached the home of Coach R' Yosef Chaim Bolton. On the line was the mother of a soldier who, heartbreakingly, lost both legs in combat. "Because of his condition, he is constantly in a low mood, and this time it has lasted for two months. Perhaps you could talk to him and encourage him a bit?"

Within an hour and a half, the coach arrived at the soldier's home, initially refusing to even speak. "After fifteen minutes, he asked me to enter his room. I entered and took out my laptop, played the video about my son Mendel, and left the room," Bolton recalls. "A few minutes later, sounds of crying came from the room, and the mother asked to enter. I waited outside and went in after ten minutes."

At this point, the soldier burst into tears and asked Bolton: "Is that your son?". Bolton nodded in agreement: "Yes, I have two sons with special needs."

The soldier, still emotional from the video, looked sincerely at Bolton and said: "You destroyed me with that video. It's moving to see the inner strength of you, your wife, and your righteous son...".

"It consumed me internally, and with all the questions, one has to live and function"

Then, in a moment of genuine emotion, Bolton opened up and shared: "When our first son arrived, I was a young, battle-hardened soldier who feared nothing, and all I had in my head back then was to fight and win. When we realized our second son also had CP, I asked Hashem: 'Why?'. Why me, why a second time, why now - 10 years after the first. And what about the other children who pay a heavy price because of the first sibling, and now another one?! It consumed me internally, and with all these questions, one must live, work, and function."

When did his perspective change drastically, shifting from questioning Hashem to acceptance, understanding, and gratitude for the current situation? "One evening, I went up to the Rashbi, where I met an acquaintance who was a messenger from Hashem. He warmly shook my hand and, out of nowhere, said to me: 'I deeply admire you, and I'll tell you something no one knows."

Coach Yosef Chaim Bolton

This acquaintance who knew Bolton since he was a child, and knew he was born dyslexic and suffered severe physical, verbal, and social abuse as a result, told him: "When it was discovered in the village that your first son was in such a condition, I asked my wife: 'How much pain can Hashem inflict on one child?' I meant you.

"I truly pitied you. But here today, I see you lecturing to teachers and parents on this issue, giving strength to others, and I want you to know that every time life gets a bit tough for me - it's hard to say it's tough in life beside you, but you understand what I mean - I immediately think of you and go out to do good for someone else."

Amidst the Darkness - A True Light Begins to Shine  

Returning to the dear soldier, Bolton looked him in the eye and said: "Now, after I've gone through what I've gone through in life, Hashem gives me more to carry than anyone. In this situation, we have free will: either to collapse and be angry with all the bad in my life, and when we focus on the bad, we'll find it everywhere because our minds have gotten used to searching and finding it, or to choose the second option, which is to love myself and what is in me, who I am, and understand that I am Hashem's unique masterpiece."

Bolton continues and tells the soldier: "You sit here in a room, in darkness, with emotional and probably physical pain. But you - get up! Stand on your emotional feet because today they are your greatest strength. My Mendel, the elder son, has incredibly strong arms because until age four or five, he moved solely by the strength of his hands, and he stood up solely by the strength of his hands. In your case, your emotional legs are incredibly strong right now, so stand tall because before Hashem - you are of stature and importance. Hashem, like a flesh-and-blood father, loves to see his children smiling."

At this point, the soldier started to cry for a long time, and when he calmed down, he lifted his head and asked: "If I put on tefillin - will it help me?". Bolton replied that it's 'between him and his Creator,' and one cannot say for certain what will help, but there's no doubt that it is a point of light, a gateway to hope. For even a small spark, once ignited, has the power to set a great fire."