Touching the Web: "Embrace What Hashem Has Given Us with Love"

A young woman named Tehila Ifraimov, who is also a mother to a special child, shares with readers the moment she realized her daughter is 'not like everyone else.' "It was in the middle of my first degree. I was about to finish my second year, and suddenly a phone call from the kindergarten teacher: 'Tehila, the child is acting strange. She's not making eye contact with the other kids in the kindergarten, nor with us. She doesn't respond when called by her name.' I told the teacher that I also noticed it and that we have been at the Child Development Center for a year," Tehila recounts.

Because she had moved to a new place during that time, she immediately linked the child's difficulties to that fact. "Probably the move wasn't good for the kid and she only has a developmental delay. It'll pass, I comforted myself. The neurologist said it's too early to diagnose and there's nothing to worry about, asking us to check back in about half a year."

Half a year flew by. And one day, Tehila found her mother with the child, choked with tears. It turned out her mother had taken the child to the Child Development Center, and the child was diagnosed as autistic. "I thought that was it, the end of the world had come. Wait, what does autistic mean? Google immediately. The life expectancy of autistic children is completely normal, up to 120 *t'foo-t'foo*. So where do we start? I'm crying and seeing darkness. It's the end of the world. What is autism? Can we get over this? Who do we turn to, what do we do? I looked up and said, 'Hashem, have mercy on me. I'm young, what did I do wrong in life to deserve this?'"

"After the Stage of Denial and Acceptance - Came the Stage of Embracing"

Since then, Ifraimov's life revolved 24/7 around her child. "I was awake till morning, taking the child to kindergarten and returning home. Instead of going to work, I went back to Google, took a two-week sick leave. I was depressed, no matter what anyone said to me. I was alone with myself, just reading articles, and even refused to take guidance from a psychologist. I denied it, didn't accept it, was ashamed, pitied myself and my child, and couldn't absorb the information.

"I neglected myself in a frightening way and was functioning like a robot. Doing what's necessary as a mother and nothing more. I didn't have the mental strength, but after two weeks with no conversations with anyone, I decided that if I don't get up for this child and don't help myself and her, I won't get out of this.

"At first, it was hard for me. I started exploring emotional therapies to help the child beyond the framework of speech therapy, hydrotherapy, therapeutic horseback riding, and occupational therapy. Everything happened so quickly. After the stage of denial and acceptance, came the stage of embracing, and the child—not only did she respond every time I called her, she called me 'Mom'!!!"

Soon, Ifraimov's journey will mark 10 years, and she has a message she wishes to convey now to mothers everywhere. "Every challenge has a solution, and what seems now like the end of the world—there will come a moment when you'll laugh about it, believe me. You must embrace what Hashem has given you with love and cope! Things not going well at work? It's okay, there are days like that. Get up in the morning with a smile even when everything isn't rosy; thoughts create reality. If you weren't capable of handling this, you definitely wouldn't have received this gift. Be proud of yourselves because you are worth a lot."