Recognizing Gratitude: Should We Thank the Egyptians for Hosting Us?

Anat Asks:

"Hello, I watched a lecture about gratitude, and it mentioned that we should be grateful to someone who helped us—even if they didn't intend to help. The Torah, for example, commands us 'do not loathe an Egyptian because you were a guest in their land' because the Egyptians provided us with shelter. How can the Torah command us to be grateful to the Egyptians after they drowned our sons in the Nile, abused us, and caused so much suffering to the Jewish people? In my opinion, this is similar to forgiving the Nazis."

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Hello, Anat, and thank you for your question.

The Torah states: "Do not loathe an Edomite, for he is your brother. Do not loathe an Egyptian, because you were a stranger in his land" (Deuteronomy 23:8).

Rashi explains: "Do not loathe an Edomite completely, even though it is fitting to loathe him as he came out against you with a sword. Do not completely loathe an Egyptian, despite them having thrown your male infants into the Nile, for they served as a shelter in your time of need."

From here we learn the measure of gratitude, as the Midrash in Sifri (117) states: "Rabbi Elazar Ben Azariah said, the Egyptians did not welcome the Israelites except for their own necessity, and they have a prescribed reward. If someone who did not intend to merit and merited is praised by the scripture as if they did merit with intention, how much more so if someone intended to do so."

In the time of Joseph, Pharaoh honored him, elevated him, and provided Jacob our patriarch and his children with dwelling in his land during the famine and afterwards. As is known, the Egyptians hosted the Israelites well only because Joseph, with his wisdom, saved them from famine; nevertheless, the Egyptians had a merit in their hospitality. Only in a later generation did the Egyptians change their attitude and enslave the Israelites bitterly. But this fact cannot erase their earlier kindness, and thus the Torah forbids loathing an Egyptian.

I understand that loathing is more than regular hatred. For in terms of hatred between a person and his peer, the Torah says: "Do not hate your brother in your heart" (Leviticus 19:17), explained by Ramban: "For it is the way of haters to conceal their hatred in their hearts."

Hatred is often something kept in the heart and not always expressed outwardly, while loathing is active hatred—preventing goodness to one's friend and seeking to harm them.

We are not required to love the Egyptians, but on the other hand, we are also required not to loathe them. This is expressed in a commandment from the Torah: It is forbidden to distance an Egyptian who comes to convert after the third generation (Sefer HaChinuch, 263).

But there is a deeper answer to your question.

We wholeheartedly believe that everything that happens to the Jewish people is a decree from Hashem. As our sages stated, Hashem does not bring disaster except through those deserving (Taanit 29a).

The Nazis were merely instruments to inflict harm, and if they hadn't chosen to act wickedly against Israel, another nation would have pursued us at that time.

There is a parable about a stubborn dog that, despite its owner feeding it and caring for its needs, rebels against him. In desperation, the owner tries to scare it with a stick to train it. But the foolish dog barks at the stick and tries to bite it, not noticing the owner's hand holding the stick. Had it noticed, it would immediately retreat and appreciate its owner's kindness.

Similarly, we sometimes behave with stubbornness, not adhering to the Torah and commandments to improve us. When enemies are sent from heaven to warn us, we grow angry and fill with wrath against them, not understanding that they come by divine decree from heaven for our sins. If we repent, our enemies will cease to hate and harm us.

Today, the Arab nations seek our total destruction, but just a century ago, it was the Germans who sought our annihilation. Going back in history, the Nazis were preceded by the Christians who persecuted us with Crusades and horrifying pogroms, before them came the Romans, the Greeks, the Persians, and the Egyptians... Do we not see the hand of providence guiding history and teaching us an essential lesson about our purpose?

And despite the decrees, we have survived and thrived for over 3,300 years, while the great empires of the world have perished. Because the Creator watches over us despite our sins.

So, to answer your question—we believers do not truly "hate" anyone, for we understand that everything is orchestrated from heaven. We seek vengeance on the enemies of Israel just to reveal the glory of Hashem in the world and for the salvation of the Jewish people.

The Torah teaches us when to hate and when to love, and there are important moral lessons in every guidance the Torah gives us.

Indeed, the Egyptians mistreated the Jews, but they received their full punishment in the Ten Plagues of Egypt—measure for measure. There was not a single plague they did not suffer reciprocally for their oppression of Israel during the years of slavery, and even the pursuers of Israel drowned in the Red Sea.

We are now required to come to terms with history, as they have received their punishment. A fascinating fact is that the Egyptian empire has perished and no longer exists in the world, and the current people who call themselves "Egyptians" are Arabs, descendants of Ishmael, and not related to the ancient Egyptians.

Just as the Persian, Assyrian, Greek, and Roman empires have vanished from the world, so has the Egyptian empire. It completed its chapter while the Jewish people live on!

Our role is to move forward, remembering the miracles and wonders Hashem performed. For this reason, the Torah forbids returning to dwell in Egypt: "He must not make many horses for himself or return the people to Egypt to add to his horses, since the Lord has told you never to go back that way again" (Deuteronomy 17:16).

We no longer harbor hatred toward the Egyptians. They have completed their chapter in history.

Observe that even the Nazis have completed their chapter in history. The descendants of the Germans living in modern Germany do not see themselves as continuations of the Nazi empire. The State of Germany is currently at peace with the State of Israel, supports Holocaust survivors, commemorates the Holocaust atrocities so they won't be forgotten, and jails Holocaust deniers. Modern-day Germans are not more hostile to Israel than the Swedes or French. Everyone knows that the threat to Israel currently comes from Islamic nations, not from the Germans.

We can continue to hate the Nazis who lived 70 years ago, and it's important to remember and remind the atrocities they committed so that the nations of the world recoil from such cruelty and do not repeat it. But is there a particular reason to hate modern Germans living in today's Germany?

"Do not loathe an Egyptian" was said concerning the descendants of the Egyptians, not about those Egyptians who lived during the enslavement and oppressed Israel with harshness. This is why the Torah commanded waiting three generations before accepting Egyptian converts. I assume for a similar reason, we do not currently loathe modern Germans because of their ancestors' sins.

On the other hand, pay attention to something very interesting: the Torah explicitly demands that we do not forget what Amalek did to us, who attacked the elderly and weak in the desert and fought Israel with great cruelty. Why must we not forget what Amalek did?

The answer is that unlike the Egyptians and other empires whose chapters in history have ended, Amalek's chapter is not yet concluded, as he changes forms but continues to pursue us in various ways to destroy us. Our sages explained that in every generation there is still Amalek that must be destroyed—Amalek who fights the way of Hashem, manifesting in different forms, in various nations, and even within us—through the challenges of the generation.

Therefore, we are forbidden to forget Amalek, that is, the evil and blasphemous path that Amalek represented in the world, which still exists and threatens us to annihilate us.

Here is a great novelty that many are not aware of—the Rambam explained that an Amalekite who has repented is no longer called "Amalek" and there is no command to kill him! The Rambam wrote in his laws of kings (chapter six):

"We do not wage war with any person in the world until we call them to peace, whether it is optional war or a commanded war, as it says (Deuteronomy 20) '... when you approach a city to wage war against it, call out to it for peace.' If they make peace and accept upon themselves the seven commandments that Noah's descendants were commanded upon, we do not kill any soul from them, and they are taxed...

It is forbidden to lie in their covenant or to deceive them after they make peace and accept the seven commandments. But if they do not make peace or make peace and do not accept the seven commandments, we wage war against them and kill all adult males, plunder all their property, and capture their children. We do not kill a woman or a minor...

These words apply to an optional war that is with other nations. But the seven nations and Amalek who did not make peace, no soul remains from them, as it says, 'You must not allow any soul to live,' and similarly, it says about Amalek, 'erase the memory of Amalek.'

How can one know that it only speaks of those not making peace? As it says (Joshua 11:19), 'There was no city that made peace with the Israelites except the Hivites living in Gibeon; they took everything in battle. For it was Hashem's doing to harden their hearts to meet Israel in battle, to annihilate them.' From this, we learn that they sent them to peace, and they did not accept."

It is possible for the Messiah to come today and declare a nation as the historical Amalek, but if this Amalek would be willing to return with complete repentance and accept the seven Noahide laws, immediately he loses the name "Amalek," and no harm befalls him.

From this, we learn that the remembrance and hatred of Amalek are not race-based but on what Amalek represents in the world.

We are commanded to remember Amalek and hate him because it is still upon us to continue fighting the Amalekite ideology that has not yet vanished from the world, as the verse says: "Do I not hate those who hate you, Hashem, and strive with your enemies?" (Psalms 139:21).

Amalek, whose spiritual threat is still living and adapting in the modern world, is what we continue to remember and demand to obliterate: "You shall erase the memory of Amalek from under the heavens. Do not forget" (Deuteronomy 25:19).

In contrast, the Egyptians have perished both physically and spiritually-culturally from the world, so there is no special reason to loathe them. This is why the Torah required us to remember "because you were a stranger in their land," in this way, the Torah provided a way for us to stop hating them, as it no longer concerns us.

For Part B, click here.