Three Loves That Transform Life: God, People, and Torah

It is said in the name of the holy Baal Shem Tov that every Jew should cultivate three essential loves:

1. Love of God

2. Love of the Jewish people

3. Love of the holy Torah

It’s impossible to truly love one without the others, as this would be similar to someone saying “I love you deeply, but I hate your children, who are part of you”.

To hate another Jew is, in effect, to hate God Himself. Often, sins between people (bein adam l’chavero) are considered even more severe in God’s eyes than sins between a person and God (bein adam laMakom). In fact, Yom Kippur does not atone for sins between people, until reconciliation is made.

Why Hate Is a Barrier to Happiness

A person who carries many grudges can never truly experience joy, as every time someone mentions the name of an enemy, that joy will vanish. If they hear that those they dislike have succeeded more than them, their anger will flare. The Torah is explicit: “You shall not hate your brother in your heart” (Leviticus 19:17).

Hatred often leads to gossip, slander, damaging someone’s property, or even harming them physically. King David wrote: "May the Lord cut off all smooth lips, the tongue that speaks great things." (Psalms 12:4).

The Blessing of Speaking Well of Others

King David also promised: “Who is the person who desires life, who loves days to see good? Guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit” (Psalms 34:13).

Many readers may be thinking that it’s almost impossible not to speak negatively about others. I used to think that way too, but thank God, I’ve been privileged to study and teach about the laws of proper speech (lashon hara) and the mitzvah of loving one’s fellow Jew (ahavat Yisrael). It has made a profound impact on me.

I recommend setting aside a daily study of just one law a day in these areas. It will transform your home and fill it with blessings.

Judging Others Favorably

Another powerful way to grow in love for others is to “Judge every person favorably” (Pirkei Avot 1:6). There may have been times that you heard someone speak badly about you, and you thought, “If only they knew what I’m really going through…”

Unfortunately, our negative inclination (yetzer hara) rushes to judge others and make conclusions before we’ve even heard their side of the story. Baseless hatred begins often without any real reason.

The Chofetz Chaim wrote that when you judge someone favorably, you fulfill a Torah commandment: “In righteousness shall you judge your fellow” (Leviticus 19:15).

The Full Picture

Once, my study partner asked me, “Do you know Rabbi So-and-So?” “Of course,” I said, “He’s an outstanding Torah scholar!”

“I don’t understand why everyone praises him,” my friend said. “I saw him coming to morning prayers late, putting on tefillin, praying quickly, and leaving right after!”

I paused, took a breath, and answered: “Do you know that this rabbi suffers from a severe intestinal illness, forcing him to run to the bathroom every ten minutes? According to Jewish law, he is fully exempt from praying with the congregation, but he pushes himself just to merit public prayer.”

A week later, that very rabbi was hospitalized for complex surgery.

Seeing Each Person as God’s Child

One thought that helps me immensely: “You are children of the Lord your God” (Deuteronomy 14:1).

We contain a soul that is literally part of God, but we tend to forget that our fellow Jews are also His children. Hating them is, in a sense, hating a part of God Himself.

Speaking badly about someone means speaking against the child of the King of Kings. Hurting them physically, emotionally, or verbally, is hurting God’s beloved child.

When we bring joy to others, speak well of them, and seek to defend them whenever possible, we are bringing joy to our Father in Heaven, who will surely repay us with goodness and blessing.

The Path to Removing Worry

The sure and proven way to remove worry from your heart is to study daily about the virtue of trust in God (bitachon) and the path to achieving it.

As the Chovot HaLevavot writes in Shaar HaBitachon: “One of the benefits that comes to a person of trust is peace of mind.” No psychologist in the world can truly remove anxiety. If someone fears developing a serious illness, the fear may be rational. The same is true for countless other worries.

The negative inclination renews itself every day with new reasons to worry and the soul needs its daily dose of “calm” which is trust in God. Choose any book that strengthens your trust in God and your love for Him, and establish a daily time to learn from it.

Besides for the benefit of inner peace, trust in God brings blessings and salvation that are beyond the natural order.