Rabbi Yigal Cohen - Look at the Half-Full Glass

If we train ourselves to focus on what we have and overlook what we lack, we will simply be happy. 

Every one of us has great gifts, yet somehow, the inclination leads us to ignore them and focus on what we do not have.

A young man studying in a yeshiva, where the dormitory conditions are not special and the food is industrial, should realize that he has a roof over his head, a bed to rest in at night, and enough food to satisfy him—what many around the world lack. Above all, he is in a sacred place with holy Jews, and he has the opportunity to delve into the Torah of the King of all Kings, blessed be His name forever. When he pays attention to these blessings, joy will surely enter his heart.

Similarly, a Jew who married and still has not been blessed by Hashem with children should appreciate the gift he received from Hashem, that he has a wife who waits for him every day, loves him, and with whom he can share his daily experiences, no longer needing to eat at the yeshiva. If he remembers that some have been waiting for years to establish a faithful home in Israel and have not yet been blessed as he has, joy will certainly enter his home.

* * *

A woman in her thirties who is still unmarried asked me, "How do you survive such a difficult time when you haven't found the desired match?"

I understood from her that she was really "suffering."

I asked her: What is so difficult for you now?

Her answer was: "All my friends are married with children, and I'm lonely!"

Do you have parents? - I asked.

- "Yes! Very good and supportive."

And friends? - I further asked.

- "Yes, some are better, some are not as close."

Is there food at home?

- "Yes! In abundance."

Can you buy clothes whenever you want?

- "Thank Hashem, I work and lack nothing."

- Health?

- "Thank Hashem! I have no special problems that I am aware of."

Do you enjoy your workplace?

- "Thank Hashem, it's excellent."

Do you have your own room at home? - I asked.

She answered me: "Yes! Thank Hashem."

Let's look together at how much you are suffering - I replied to her.

You have loving and supportive parents; how many people in the world do not have parents? And if they do, how many of them are loving as yours are? Your health—do you know that some people would give all their fortune to be healthy like you? Your private room—how many women would swap places with you to have such a room? And the good job you enjoy, the money you have without lacking anything, and the plentiful food, thank Hashem. Is this what you call "suffering"? "And how do I survive"?

I concluded my words to her, saying if only you would focus on the gifts you have and not on what your friends have, (and also, you never know how "good it is" for them), life will be easy and happy for you.

Say Thank You

One of the things to learn and appreciate what we received from Hashem is to make it a habit to say thank you for everything we receive from Him. Our sages, Chazal (as noted in the Seder Hayom book introduction), already instituted this practice that the moment we open our eyes in the morning, we say "Modeh Ani Lefanecha, Melech Chai Vekayam, Shehechezarta Bi Nishmati Bechemla Raba Emunatecha," and afterward the morning blessings, all thanksgivings for all the gifts the Creator gives us.

Every morning throughout our lives, we should say thank you that Hashem opened our eyes, reminding us that it's not a given that we woke up being able to see, and similarly for "Releasing the imprisoned," thanking Him that we can move our limbs, until in the end, we thank that He made us Jews. Any Jew who says these blessings with intention will learn to constantly thank the Creator, blessed be He, for the millions of kindnesses He does for us.

So too are all the blessings our sages instituted, "Borei Pri Ha'etz," thank you for such a beautiful and tasty fruit. "Hamotzi Lechem Min Ha'aretz," thank you for the delicious and satisfying bread, and so for every food, Hazal instructed us to bless and thank, and even for a new garment we wear, we need to bless "Shehecheyanu Vekiyemanu Vehigiyanu Lazman Hazeh," essentially a thank you for life that Hashem graciously extended to us until now.

A Jew who married at a very late age knows how to appreciate the gift he received and frequently says thank you. If we learn from him and say every morning thank you for having a wife who tidied the room, folded the clothes, and bought food for us to satisfy us, there is no doubt that in the end, love will enter our hearts, and we will feel happy just to be married. 

Mango, such a wonderful fruit, beautiful color, delicate texture, pleasant scent, and of course, the taste—paradise! How many times have we eaten mango without much excitement? But if we truly know how to thank the Creator of worlds, then just the sight of the mango will fill our mouth with song and praise to the Creator, and certainly if we eat it ripe and fresh, in every bite we will think of the miracles and wonders the Creator, blessed be He, performed in creating the mango, from a small seed that decomposed in the ground, until it reached such a wonderful taste. Surely we will feel the need to say thank you.

I recently obtained the wonderful book 'Sha'arav Betoda' by the righteous Rabbi Shalom Arush, may he live, and I have seen that he expands greatly, as the Lord's hand is good upon him, on the greatness of saying thank you, and even, heaven forbid, for things that appear bad to us, he trains himself to say thank you, and Hashem will turn it all to good for him. Go and learn from this book and feel satisfied.

If we want to summarize the importance of saying thank you, let's imagine that the Creator has granted us, and we help a close friend every day with food, health treatments, and shelter, and we also keep them company during difficult times, and every day they show us grim faces, and "thank you" does not come from their lips. Surely it would be difficult to continue to do good for them, as they show they are ungrateful.

And in contrast, the poor person who asks for charity every day, and we give them one shekel a day, and immediately upon receiving the money, smiles widely and continuously thanks, blesses, and praises, I am certain there will be times we eagerly await their arrival just to see their joyous face after giving charity, and receive endless blessings.

If we say thank you every day for the eyes that see, the ears that hear, and all the other healthy body parts, (now a Jew came to me, and they found a tumor in their body, heaven forbid, and they were referred for surgery, how I felt the need to say thank you for health), thank you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner you gave us, Creator of the world, thank you for the wife you gave to stand by me, without whom I would be nothing, thank you for the wonderful children who returned from school healthy and whole, thank you for the friends who care about our well-being (some have no friends), thank you for the privilege to fulfill your precious commandments, and all the more so for the wonderful and sweet Torah, more precious than honey and the honeycomb, you gave us the privilege to learn. Thank you for the Shabbat queen, which is truly one-sixtieth of paradise, thank you that we have money in our pocket, allowing us to buy an ice cream when we feel like it. Through saying thank you frequently, we internalize the value of the gifts we have and thus feel real satisfaction.

The book 'My Heart Rejoices in Your Salvation' can be obtained in quality stores and at Hidabroot Shops