Pride vs. Humility: Why Small Struggles and Simple Deeds Matter Most in God’s Eyes

Healthy pride can be a sense of satisfaction in one's accomplishments, but it can also express itself as a feeling of superiority. This can show up toward your spouse, neighbors, relatives, co-workers, or study partners, by looking down on those who aren’t as observant, wealthy, attractive, or as smart as you.

A prideful person is always looking for the flaws in others, as a way to explain why they are better than everyone else.

The Ramban’s Perspective: Using Our Gifts Fully

The solution, explains the Ramban (Nachmanides), is to realize that if we see someone less knowledgeable or less capable than us, they may still be greater in God’s eyes. This is possible because they may be fully using the limited abilities they were given. If we were given greater intelligence but fail to use even half of it, then we are on a lower level than them.

The “Upside-Down World”

The Talmud (Pesachim 50a, Bava Batra 10b) tells the story of Rabbi Yosef, the son of Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi, who died briefly and then came back to life. His father asked him: “What did you see in the next world?”

Rabbi Yosef answered: “I saw an upside-down world. Those who seem great here are low there, and those considered small here are exalted there.”
His father replied: “You have seen a clear world!”

The commentaries explain that in the World to Come, the famous scholars, wealthy individuals, and leaders are not always honored, while ordinary, overlooked people may be closest to God.

This is a powerful lesson: sometimes we dismiss simple people as unimportant, yet in the next world, they may be far more significant than us.

Elijah’s Lesson: The Power of Joy

The Talmud (Taanit 22a) relates that people once asked Eliyahu Hanavi (Elijah the Prophet): “Who among the people in the marketplace are destined for the World to Come?” He pointed not to scholars, but to two jesters who went around cheering people up.

From this we learn:

1. God values joy deeply — bringing happiness to others can earn eternal reward.

2. We cannot know who is truly greater in God’s eyes. Someone who seems simple may be more elevated in the world of truth.

A New Way to See Others

Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler, in Michtav Me’Eliyahu (Vol. 1, p.111), offers a parable: Imagine a hungry scholar who sees pork being sold in a shop. Of course, he avoids it. He is rewarded, but the test was easy for him.

Now imagine someone raised in a secular home, who resists the temptation to go to the beach on Shabbat. His reward is far greater, because the difficulty of his choice was enormous.

The same applies to modesty: a woman raised in a strictly religious home may find it natural to dress modestly, whereas another woman, raised in a non-observant home, may make a huge effort just to put on clothing that is even partly modest. In Heaven, her act may be greater, because her struggle was harder.

A Story from the Jerusalem Talmud

The Jerusalem Talmud (Taanit 1:4) tells of a drought when Israel desperately needed rain. The sages dreamed that a certain man, a donkey driver, should be asked to pray, because his prayers would be answered.

When they brought him, they asked: “What have you done to merit this?” 

He replied: “Once, a woman hired me to take her by donkey. Along the way she began to cry bitterly. She explained that her husband was being held hostage, and she was on her way to sell herself to immorality to pay the ransom. My heart was moved, so I sold my donkey and gave her the money to redeem her husband.”

The sages said: “You are worthy to pray for rain.” He prayed — and rain fell immediately.

Even though there were many great rabbis in that generation, his prayer was answered because his sacrifice came with enormous struggle, which was far greater than theirs.

Why Small Deeds in Our Generation Matter More

Rabbi Chaim Vital, in Sha’ar HaGilgulim quoting the Arizal, writes that in spiritually weaker generations like ours, even a small mitzvah may be greater than a huge deed in the days of the Tannaim. This is because our souls are weaker, and our tests are harder — whether it’s temptations like the internet or the pull of modern distractions.

If a Jew today resists the urge to look at something inappropriate online, that act can outweigh much greater deeds from earlier generations.

For Men: True Humility in Everyday Life

If you have a neighbor who behaves poorly, do not feel superior. Maybe God gave him crushing psychological struggles you cannot imagine. If he is doing even a little better than his nature allows, his effort may count for more than your outward success.

If you see a simple laborer who barely finds time to study Torah, while you learn all day in yeshiva and keep every detail of Jewish law, that still does not prove you are greater. For him, attending one hour of study may be an enormous triumph, while for you, studying eight hours might still fall short of your true capacity.

God does not measure by quantity, but by effort and struggle. True humility is realizing that someone else’s small act may be infinitely greater than your many deeds, depending on the challenges they face and the effort they invest.