Rabbi Yigal Cohen – How Does a Proud Person Appear in the Eyes of Hashem?

In order to understand how a proud person appears in the eyes of the Creator, we bring a parable of our children. After the annual report cards were distributed, we decided to give each of them a significant amount of money for their diligence in studies. Just after each child got their money, we overheard the eldest approaching the youngest, saying, "I am much better than you, you have ten shekels and I have twenty." Of course, we immediately called the eldest and told him not to boast about something that isn’t his, for he just received the money moments ago as a gift. If we saw that he continued to mock the younger one repeatedly, we would take away the gift to teach him a lesson.

This is exactly how Hashem governs His world when He sees someone who has been given a gift like exceptional beauty and then mocks their less attractive friends as if they had personally designed their own faces.

Similarly, if a woman, whom the Creator decided to make beautiful, boasts about this to her friends, the Creator will take that gift from her because she is unworthy of it.

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In previous columns, I wrote that humility is a special trait that leads to salvation, as stated in Rabbi Nachman’s Letter. I will write more about this later, but for now, I'd like to explain through a story that happened with me.

A Jewish man approached me asking to meet in order to share his troubles and seek solutions. Initially, I attempted to postpone due to time constraints, but he insisted and came to my house, starting to recount his personal story. I understood that he was a large business owner, who, by all business measures, should be successful and flourishing, yet somehow everything was stuck, and he barely managed to pay his suppliers.

He was an observant Hasidic Jew who meticulously kept the commandments and gave charity as much as he could, with a large family dependent on him. After investigating whether there was anything in his actions that made the Creator signal through financial hardship, we found nothing significant.

As a last attempt, I asked him about the quality of arrogance. After all, you know that Hashem detests arrogant people!

The man lowered his eyes and admitted, "Yes, Rabbi, I lack in this capacity. I aspire to be a millionaire (to help the poor, of course), and mainly, I want to show my father, brothers, and sisters that I can make money as well as they can. Additionally, I love brands and luxury cars—they make me feel good.”

"A man's pride will bring him low" (Proverbs 29:23) - thus I began my response to him.

"Does Hashem love you?" I asked.

"Certainly!" answered the Jew.

"He wants to grant you abundant livelihood?"

"Of course! If He loves me, surely He wants me to have a good life!"

"He is capable of giving you everything?"

"Definitely! Everything is His," answered the man.

I told him: "So, if He can give it to you and wants to give, then why hasn’t He given you?"

To this question, he had no answer.

I explained my point. Because Hashem loves you, He is refraining from giving it to you. Imagine, if today, when you don’t have the wealth you desire, you're in great debt yet boasting to everyone, what will happen when you achieve great success in business, allowing yourself all brand names and luxury cars? Will your pride not swell even more?

Suddenly your wife might seem outdated for you, after all, you're now an important figure, and she's just a housewife. The rabbi who teaches you at night might not be high enough for your status. If the synagogue's gabbai does not honor you on Shabbat, you might feel anger in your heart or even tell him: "How dare you not honor the important donor of the synagogue." Furthermore, your righteous children now taking the bus to the Torah school will from now on ride in luxury vehicles, which might eventually spoil their love for Torah study, and your close friends might appear too simple for your taste.

Hashem knows the future, too, and because He loves you, He knows that money in your current mindset would spoil you, so He prevents it from you! It's only for your benefit!

And this is precisely what King Solomon meant when he said, "A man's pride will bring him low," as the Creator, out of love for His creations, humbles a prideful person to prevent excessive pride from developing within them.

I concluded with the righteous individual that every day he should study moral works extolling the virtue of humility and decrying the vice of pride. Once the Creator sees that money will not corrupt you, there is no reason in the world that He wouldn't bestow great abundance upon you according to His good will. Indeed, after a month, I met him, and he told me that, thank Hashem, the business is slowly recovering.

A Man's Pride Will Bring Him Low

Once, I used to pray to Hashem to grant me wisdom like our esteemed Rabbeinu Ovadia Yosef of blessed memory. Of course, I knew how far I was from his lofty levels, but I believed in my heart that nothing stops Hashem from giving immense wisdom even to someone like me.

I persevered in this prayer until one clear day, I realized this prayer was currently to my detriment. This was because if tomorrow I woke up with immense wisdom and vast knowledge in all parts of the Torah, and even flashes of divine inspiration, and my wife asked me to take out the garbage, you can surely imagine my reaction. I, who knows the entire Bavli and Yerushalmi by heart and to whom the whole world flocks with complex halachic questions, should take out the trash? And if someone did not stand up before me, I would feel a grave insult to my Torah honor, and if anyone dared to contest my opinion then… the continuation is obvious.

Hashem must love me and kept me far from there so I can continue taking out the trash without offense. If someone does not stand up before me, I won't feel it at all. When someone presents an opinion contrary to mine, I'll know that my opinion certainly could be wrong, and I'll try to understand their argument, and when someone addresses me by my first name, I'll respond happily without feeling insulted.

This is also why a person achieved a slightly loud wife, who occasionally scolds them, or a woman received a husband who constantly puts her down. It's nothing more than Hashem’s way of wanting you close to Him. There is no greater closeness to the Creator than a person who behaves with humility and submissiveness, and because we don't always understand on our own how to work on the quality of submission, Hashem sends faithful messengers to assist us.

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