The Dangers of Pride and the Blessings of Humility in Jewish Wisdom

The wisest of men, Shlomo Hamelech (King Solomon), writes in Mishlei (Proverbs 29:23): “A man’s pride will bring him low, but the humble in spirit will gain honor.”

In these few words, he teaches that pride ultimately leads to a person’s downfall, while humility brings a person true respect.

If people truly understood how much suffering pride brings into their lives, and how many blessings humility brings, they would drop everything to study the nature of pride — so they could avoid it, and the nature of humility — so they could embrace it.

In these lessons, I will highlight the greatness of humility, the dangers of pride, what each quality truly means, and how to attain humility.

If a person dedicates at least one month to daily study and practice of humility, he will begin to see blessings in every part of his life.

Pride and Doubt in God

A student once came to Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky (the “Steipler Gaon”) saying: “I have thoughts of heresy against God — what should I do?”

The rabbi answered: “All these thoughts come from pride. If you remove pride from your heart, those thoughts will disappear, and pure faith will enter instead.”

When hearing this anecdote, I didn’t understand the connection between pride and heresy. Only years later, when I studied the roots of pride, did I realize that the more we think “I do, I understand, I provide, I succeed”, the more we push God out of our thoughts. Left unchecked, this can even lead to denying His role as King of the universe.

I experienced this myself. Whenever doubts about God arose in my heart, I would repeat verses and teachings about humility and the dangers of pride. Immediately, my heart would soften before God, and I would recognize how small my understanding was compared to His infinite wisdom.

Pride is, in fact, a form of denying God’s providence. When someone says, “I earned, I built, I healed, I succeeded,” he is not only foolish, but he denies the reality that his very life, soul, talents, and opportunities are all gifts from God. Every success we experience comes only through His strength and wisdom.

For this reason, Shlomo Hamelech also wrote (Mishlei 16:5): “Everyone proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord.” The Talmud (Sotah 5a) goes further: “God says, ‘I and the arrogant cannot dwell together.’” Pride pushes God out of the heart.

The Harmful Fruits of Pride

Anger

Pride is the root of many destructive traits. First, it breeds anger, at others and even at oneself. A prideful person expects everyone to obey his wishes. When things don’t go his way, he becomes furious. He even explodes at his own mistakes: “How could I fail? I’m supposed to be perfect.”

He envies others’ success, feeling as though their achievement diminishes his own. This makes it hard for him to celebrate their victories, and at times he may even try to sabotage them.

Sadness and Dissatisfaction

A prideful person always feels entitled to more. Even if he marries a God-fearing wife, he imagines he could have found someone “better.” If his child is energetic, he complains, “I deserve a calmer child.” In nearly every situation, he feels unfulfilled. This can sink him into depression.

Fear

Pride creates constant fear of failure. When a person needs to appear perfect, he worries endlessly about what others will say. Often, he avoids important opportunities, paralyzed by fear of falling short. He may go to extreme lengths to win approval, even at the cost of serious wrongs, such as gossip, public shaming, or undermining a colleague at work.

Lack of Respect in Relationships

Pride can poison marriage. A man full of pride belittles his wife, focusing on her flaws while magnifying his own virtues. He dismisses her opinions, convinced that he always knows better. Likewise, a prideful woman may scorn her husband in her heart. In either case, pride erodes the relationship and can even lead to divorce.

As one great sage said: “All marital strife in our generation comes from pride. If couples would embrace humility, peace would flourish in their homes.”

Greed and Coveting

The Talmud (Sotah 4b) says: “Anyone with arrogance will ultimately stumble with another man’s wife.” Why? Because he feels entitled to everything.

If he sees a friend’s fine garment, he desires it. If he sees a beautiful home, he covets it. Pride whispers: “I deserve this more than him.” This endless craving leaves him restless and bitter.