The Real Key to Divine Blessing: Fixing Our Actions First

In our generation, many Jews seek blessings and salvations. Some request amulets for protection, others go to great rabbis for blessings, some travel to the graves of tzaddikim (righteous leaders) to pray, hoping they will intercede on their behalf. People check their mezuzot as a possible solution for troubles, and others try spiritual practices to ease their suffering.

All of these are good and worthy, but our sages taught us that before all these remedies, we must examine our deeds. As the Talmud (Berachot 5a) says: “If a person sees that suffering comes upon him, he should examine his deeds.”

Why Is This Happening to Me?

Countless times I’ve been asked by students: “Rabbi, why is God doing this to me? After all, I’ve done many good deeds — I gave charity, I recited Tehillim (Psalms), I believed in Him — so why doesn’t He save me?”

They fail to notice that often their own actions caused their troubles. Instead of recognizing their mistakes, they accuse God of injustice. King Solomon already said: “A person’s foolishness ruins his way, but his heart rages against the Lord” (Proverbs 19:3).

A Story About Livelihood

A man once approached me saying, "Rabbi, I have no blessing in money. I work very hard, my wife also works long hours, yet we’re 40,000 shekels in debt and still renting. What should we do?"

I asked: “Do you give ma’aser (tithe) from your salary?”
“Yes, always!” he answered.

We went through other possible causes for financial hardship, and then I discovered that he treated his wife harshly, dismissing her opinions, and made her feel he was doing her a favor by marrying her.

I immediately told him: “Know this! The Talmud (Bava Metzia 59a) says: ‘A man should always be careful with his wife’s honor, for blessing is found in a man’s home only because of his wife,’ as it is written about Abraham: ‘He benefited Abram because of her’ (Genesis 12:16). Rava told his students: ‘Honor your wives, and you will become wealthy.’ But if you belittle her, the opposite happens.”

I concluded: “No amulet in the world, no rabbi’s blessing, not even the prayers of great tzaddikim will help you if you continue disrespecting your wife. God Himself is angered when a husband hurts his wife. Go, honor her with words and with gifts as best as you can, and with God’s help, you will surely see salvation.”

Measure for Measure

God runs His world measure for measure. Someone who disrespects another’s money by delaying repaying loans, ignoring debts, withholding payment from a shopkeeper, avoiding paying building maintenance fees, or slacking off during work hours while being paid, is guilty of theft. If he steals from others, how can he expect God to shower him with financial blessing?

A Jew who truly believes in God, who knows there is judgment and a Judge, will never take what is not his. He trusts that what God has decreed for him will come honestly and not through lies or theft.

Ninety Thousand Shekels

A generous man, who donates much to our study hall and always seeks advice to avoid transgressing monetary laws, once approached me distraught: "Rabbi, I try to do God’s will in body and in money, yet I was swindled out of 90,000 shekels by a group of fraudsters. Why did this happen to me?"

At first, I was pained by the question. How could one even suspect that God would cause such a loss without reason? I told him: “I don’t know why this happened, but I’m certain God did not do this to you without purpose. Examine your deeds, and let us pray together that He will return your money soon.”

Months later, he returned with a different question about his business practices. As he spoke, I realized that he was violating biblical monetary laws of theft almost every day!

I asked him: “Do you remember when you were cheated out of 90,000 shekels?”
“Of course!” he said.
“They still haven’t returned it.”
I told him: “Do you still not understand why? Thank God they didn’t take even more. You yourself are stealing almost daily and still wonder why this happened?”

He tried to excuse himself: “But everyone in my field does this!”
I replied: “Then they are all thieves, and you are one of them.”

I ended firmly: “Stop immediately. Return what you took unjustly. Ask God for forgiveness. And I am confident you will get your money back.”

Indeed, not long afterward, he returned to tell me that in a wondrous and unexpected way, his money was returned to him.

True blessing comes when we examine our actions, correct our mistakes, and live with honesty and respect, especially toward those closest to us.