I Am Not Always Looking to Punish You!

Fear arises from several reasons:

The first and main reason is pride - often, people are afraid to do good and important actions due to worry, fearing what others will say about them. They harbor fear of their friends' reactions, such as a woman wishing to dress more modestly, thinking, "What will friends and family say? Perhaps I won't find favor in their eyes anymore." Similarly, a Jew wanting to cut ties with improper friends worries, "What will the neighbors think of me?"

Additionally, they fear daring to do grand and important things, such as organizing Torah lessons in their neighborhood or trying to bring a Jew closer to faith, for fear of failure and what others might think. This fear is called the 'fear of failure.'

The solution to this fear is knowing and repeating the verse "Hashem bestows grace and honor" (Psalms 84:12) and "To the humble He gives grace" (Proverbs 3:34). Our finding favor in others' eyes depends only on the Creator, and if we act for His sake, He will undoubtedly pour grace from the heavens upon us.

How many people do we know who chase honor and try to find favor in others' eyes, and yet the honor escapes them, resulting in the opposite - the public scorns them in their hearts? Conversely, those who flee from honor are chased by it.

Because grace and favor come only from Hashem, and if we do actions contrary to chasing honor, He blesses us with grace from the heavens, and observers appreciate us more for our true faith and our unwavering stance on our principles without fear.

Thus is the promise of King Solomon "To the humble He gives grace." The humble one, who hides his achievements and does not publicize his good deeds in public, who is not ashamed to acknowledge his mistakes publicly, and who walks humbly, naturally has no reason to have special favor in people's eyes. Yet it is he whom Hashem blesses with special grace more than anyone else.

So it is with a woman who wishes to please her Creator by dressing more modestly and respectably. If she only knows in her heart what joy the Creator feels in her overcoming the evil inclination, and with such joy in heaven, the Creator will surely bestow upon her special grace from above. Even if it seems to her that she is less "glamorous," on the contrary, Hashem will give her grace and discernment in the eyes of Hashem and man.

Another fear is maybe Hashem will punish me - For a long time in my life, I felt that at any moment, heaven forbid, the Creator would punish me for all my sins, until this fear paralyzed me from even performing simple actions.

At first, I thought it was called 'fear of heaven'!

But over time, I realized that fear of heaven should not cause sadness and mental stress, and all this is a result of not recognizing the Creator's attributes.

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By the way, for those who fear illnesses, heaven forbid they may afflict them, and for every slight pain they fear it might be one, there is a promise not to get the dreaded illness or any illness at all. It is the promise of David, King of Israel: "Who is the man who desires life, loves days to see good, guards his tongue from evil and lips from speaking deceit, turns away from evil and does good, seeks peace and pursues it." One who guards his tongue and does not speak ill of Jews but rather seeks peace, is assured to live long and see good.

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No One's Out to Get You!

Does it seem to you that a child who misbehaves is constantly sought out by his father to punish? Or as people say, "looking for him" all the time?

- God forbid to say so... on the contrary, the Creator hopes and longs for our success more than we hope for ourselves, and His infinite love for us yearns for us to understand our mistakes and repent, after which He welcomes us with complete love, and He will do us endless good. On the contrary, the very thought that the Creator wants to punish us insults His honor.

Imagine, no less, your child, every time they pass by you, raises their hands in defense out of fear that... you might hit them!!!

Surely you would immediately say, "Calm down, my child, I am not so cruel as to constantly look to hit you!"

This is exactly how we appear to Hashem when we are constantly afraid of His punishment.

Usually, a person who is always afraid that judgment will target them also judges others harshly. If someone wrongs them, they quickly think of the severe punishment deserved by that Jew. If they see a Jew committing a sin, they say in their heart, "Wicked! How can he defy Hashem's will, surely a disaster will befall him soon." If one of their children disobeys, they immediately think of a deserving punishment. This is not their fault but rather because they have been conditioned this way and are unaware of their mistaken thinking.

If only we learn from Hashem's attributes - His patience, abundant grace, and truth - and if you examine Jewish history, you'll see how Hashem was patient with Israel's sins until they repented. Often we see a Jew at sixty returning to faith, leaving his wrong ways, returning to the Creator's embrace. For sixty years, Hashem gave him oxygen in his lungs, food on his table, and a roof over his head, even granting him a wife and children while he defied Heaven's will without fear. And yet Hashem was patient, waiting until he discovered the wonderful truth, never rushing to punish.

If we train ourselves to think positively about ourselves and others, such as when we see a friend sinning, we try to justify them and say maybe they do not know it is forbidden or do not understand the severity, and we have no understanding of how strong his evil inclination is. If we were in his place, we might be worse. Furthermore, the Talmud in Berakhot (19) teaches that if you see a Torah scholar sin at night, do not question him the next day, for he surely repented.

The book 'Yagel Libi BeYeshuatecha' is available at select stores and at Hidabroot Shops