Why Challenges Teach Us Humility: Finding God’s Gift in Hardship

When I first began to study the dangers of pride and the greatness of humility, I came to realize with sharper clarity that the difficult crisis I went through was actually a pure blessing from God.

Try convincing a person who has always been healthy and strong, successful in his learning, teaching Torah, offering insights and giving lectures, receiving compliments, while also enjoying financial stability:

“Listen, my friend! You are nothing. Your health is not your own achievement; it’s a free gift from the Creator, and at any moment He can take it away. The money you earn is not thanks to your brilliance but only because God decided so, and He can remove it from you in an instant. Even your wisdom is a gift. You gave a great lecture today, but next time you may struggle, and you will see that success is not in your hands.”

Of course, such a person finds it hard to accept these words. He has never experienced illness, never known what it means to be unable to learn, always relied on his natural talents, and never lacked money. If he tells himself, “I am nothing,” he may accept it in theory, but the truth won’t penetrate his heart.

Today I know with absolute certainty, that I am nothing. I am like a puppet that the Creator inflates each moment with strength, wisdom, and sustenance, but I only came to this realization through the hardships I endured in life.

Today I deeply value every day of wellness that God grants me. If I ever feel pride in my physical strength, I remind myself that God can reclaim the gift in a moment.

When I recall those days when I could not even begin the first lines of a page of Talmud, when no logical thought or insight would form in my mind, when I could only sometimes muster the strength to read a few chapters of Tehillim, it is clear to me that any compliment I receive today for teaching is nothing but a pure gift from Heaven. I immediately thank the true Master, God Himself, for allowing me the privilege to share Torah.

No book could have convinced me of these truths as powerfully as the poverty I endured. It taught me not to take pride in money. No lecture in ethics could have driven home the lesson of humility as deeply as illness did. These experiences showed me that both health and wisdom are unearned gifts of divine kindness.

Understanding That Everything Comes from God

The way to understand what good lies within the difficulties God brings us is to pause the rush of life and reflect on how He is guiding us for our benefit.

Sometimes God prevents us from closing a deal or getting the job we wanted. At first glance, it may look like a perfect opportunity, but if God blocks it, it indicates that it wasn’t right for us. He is preparing something better, whether a different home, a more fitting career, or a path more aligned with our true good.

The same is true for relationships. Many young men tell me: “I found the perfect girl, she was everything I dreamed of, but she ended the relationship. How can this be good for me?”

I ask them: Do you believe that God loves you? Do you believe He wants good for you? Then why assume this breakup was bad? Perhaps an even better match is waiting and how do you know that the girl you thought was perfect was truly so? Maybe God saved you from a relationship that would have harmed you. Our understanding of what is good is very limited, which is why learning to accept His decisions with love is so important.

Another common reason for suffering is pride. When we succeed financially, socially, or intellectually, it is so easy to develop arrogance which is among the worst traits. As Shlomo Hamelech (King Solomon) said (Mishlei 16:5): “Everyone who is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord.”

It All Depends on Us

The Talmud (Sotah 5a) teaches that God says of the arrogant person: “I and he cannot dwell together.” This is because the arrogant person believes in his heart: “My strength and the power of my hand made me this wealth,” forgetting his Creator. Ultimately, he pushes away both faith and commandments, as it says (Devarim 32:15): “Jeshurun grew fat and kicked.”

God knows us better than we know ourselves. He examines our hearts and foresees our future and He certainly wants His children to live with ease, and abundant livelihood. Sometimes He withholds this because He knows that too much success would make us arrogant, and the very blessing could become the cause of spiritual downfall.

I have personally seen Jews who became wealthy very quickly and soon refused to hear words of Torah unless spoken on their terms. One even told me: “Rabbi, if you want to teach me, come to my home and I’ll pay you well for your time.” Sadly, I had no availability, and so he ended up without a regular Torah class. The results spoke for themselves.

Pride in the Family

This problem is not limited to wealth. Many men who provide financially for their families begin to look down on their wives or children, thinking: “They’re nothing without me — I’m the breadwinner. They’re just living off my back.”

The reverse is also true. Some women who earn well while their husbands study Torah — or who simply don’t bring home a large income, begin to look down on their husbands: “What kind of man is he if he can’t even support his family?” Such thoughts corrode the family bond.

The Ingratitude of Pride

God says: “I gave them the privilege of being a channel for the family’s livelihood, and instead of thanking Me, they think it was all them.”

To prevent such destructive pride, God sometimes introduces financial difficulties. In this way, each spouse is reminded: “On my own I am nothing. Only together, and with God’s help, can we stand.” Most importantly, such challenges keep arrogance in check. After all, when you are barely managing to make ends meet, there is little room for pride.