"Dear Rabbi, No Matter What I Do, My Bank Deficit Keeps Growing"

Many people ask, "Why don't I enjoy anything? Why am I not happy with my wife or my children? Why don't I find satisfaction even at work or in general?"

- In short, they do not enjoy life.

They continue with their questions: "Why is Hashem doing this to me?" They pin their difficulties solely on the Creator's will without understanding that Hashem wants more from them, to enjoy His wonderful world.

The matter of joy, which is a great mitzvah, was left in our hands by Hashem. If we only stop being people with 'big eyes' who want more and more without stopping to appreciate the great kindness surrounding us, and stop demanding so much from ourselves, then joy will enter our hearts, and we'll enjoy the Creator's marvelous creation.

"A man's folly perverts his way, and his heart frets against Hashem" (Proverbs 19:3).

Meaning: A person makes all possible mistakes and then complains against Hashem.

Let me tell you an amazing story, every time I remember it, it reminds me of this verse.

There was a Jew I knew well who was very wealthy, on a global scale, who with Divine assistance began to return to faith and recognize his Creator. Gradually, he left his non-modest workplace and began his journey in the world of Torah until he left all his businesses and entered a yeshiva. From then, he started to strengthen himself in Torah and pure fear of Heaven.

I was privileged to accompany him on his path in serving Hashem, and every time he progressed in Torah virtues, he lost more and more of his assets. At a certain stage, he lost all his wealth and money to the point of needing loans from people.

During that time, he was accustomed to complain: "I have returned to complete repentance, so why is Hashem doing this to me? Why doesn't He help me? All my friends who haven't returned to repentance are still wealthy, only I have become destitute!"

I stood astonished at his harsh claims, which seemingly also had some truth. I prayed to Hashem: "Sanctify Your name in Your world, and show him that those who walk in Your ways succeed." I comforted him as best as I could, and we parted.

Until -

In one of our many conversations, this Jew, speaking frankly, shared a story that amazed me, and he said:

In my youth, when I was released from the army, my late father approached me and gave me $100,000 in cash. To my question, why is he giving me this sum of money, he said: "Take this money, my son, and do business with it, when you have enough, return the loan."

Years passed, and I managed to multiply the money my father gave me. Occasionally, my late father would remind me about the loan that it was time to repay it, but for some reason, I preferred to ignore my late father.

I later learned that my father fell ill with the notorious disease and was hospitalized. I immediately went to visit him in the hospital and understood from the doctors that my father's time in this world was very short. During that visit, as I inquired about his well-being, my father answered and said: "See your mother, she has nothing left, please at least return her the loan." "With Hashem's help, I will try very hard", I told him, and so I ended the conversation.

A week later, my late father passed away, and instead of making my widowed mother's heart happy and immediately returning her money, I continued to ignore the very existence of the loan.

Thus the years passed, and I continued to lose all my assets and wealth."

This is how the righteous man ended his story.

I could not hold back from reproaching him: "You have hurt your father for many years, and additionally, you continue to mistreat a widow, who is also your mother, and yet you still complain against Hashem for what was done to you. In your case, you should be grateful to Hashem that you are still alive and healthy."

I referred him to the Shulchan Aruch to learn how to atone for this sin, and so he truly did. With Hashem's help, his situation is much better today.

The Honor of Torah Scholars

There are many stories about Jews who violated the honor of Torah scholars and faced many troubles, whether in severe illnesses, Heaven forbid, or in infertility, lack of income, or delay in finding a match.

Know, dear brothers, that Hashem is more particular about the honor of Torah scholars than His own honor. So our sages taught us (See Midrash Rabba, Parashat Lech Lecha, Chapter 39, Section 12). Therefore, anyone who knows they have spoken ill of a Torah scholar or, Heaven forbid, harmed them personally, before seeking other forms of salvation, should run and ask for forgiveness and reconcile with the scholar according to their honor and status. He should accept upon himself not to repeat the mistake, and with Hashem's help, he will see great salvation.

In conclusion, I saw fit to bring a story through which we can understand how the Creator guides His world.

A Jew who consulted with me on various matters accepted upon himself to give a tithe of all the profits he would make, which promises wealth. And so he did. Likewise, he respected his wife - which also carries that promise - and bought her many beautiful jewelry. In addition, he accepted upon himself to set regular study times for Torah every day.

Yet with all this, he would still return to me with the claim: "Dear Rabbi, everything I do doesn't help, the deficit in the bank remains over twenty thousand shekels, and it seems we won't get to buy a home."

Again, I stood baffled. Our sages promised that prosperity would follow such commitments. Of course, I was not discouraged but encouraged him further, and I said to him: "Look further into your actions; perhaps the problem lies there."

Days later, I discovered that this dear Jew speaks slander about Torah scholars without any reservation and even involves his wife in it. To my astonishment, I found this had been going on for a long time.

I called him to me and opened before him the Mishnah in Tractate Uktzin: (Chapter 3, Mishnah 12): "Rabbi Shimon ben Chalaphta said, Hashem did not find a better vessel for holding blessings for Israel than peace, as it says (Psalm 29:11), 'May Hashem give strength to His people, Hashem will bless His people with peace.' You can bring all the blessings in the world to your home, but if you do not have a vessel to hold them, all the blessings flee from you. How do you expect Hashem to bestow upon you any abundance when you speak freely of slander, since Hashem hates those who speak slander so much that the Rambam ruled (Hilchos Deos 7:3, and Hilchos Talmud Torah 6:11) they have no share in the world to come. Repent."

I concluded my words to this Jew and said to him: "You and your wife should learn a law from the book 'Chafetz Chaim' every day, and it will teach you how to speak, and with Hashem's help, all your problems will be solved."

I do not know how matters progressed for him, but in my heart, I know that if he listened to my advice and corrected his actions, he surely will not lack any goodness.

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