Hashem Always Loves Us, So Why Can't We Always See It?

It is written in the Torah in several places that Hashem's relationship with us is akin to the relationship of a father with his son: "You are children to Hashem, your God" (Deuteronomy 14:1). This is stated in regard to His love for us, but also in the context of punishment: "Know then in your heart that as a parent disciplines a child, so Hashem, your God, disciplines you." We will delve deeper into this concept, as it is very essential for understanding reality.

In our relationship with our children, it is very easy to distinguish between two different approaches: one of boundless love, without conditions. A new baby is born, and the excited parents feel immense and unconditional love for them. But it’s impossible to educate a child this way throughout their life. As the child grows up, the parents must set boundaries, rewards and punishments. Reward for positive behaviors, and the opposite. This is essential for upbringing, as a child whose father "never disciplined him" may grow up spoiled. However, the parent must remember that this approach is not the entirety. The love for the child at its root is unconditional, and all that child-rearing requires in terms of guiding them according to their actions is merely an outer garment and approach to that inner, unconditional love.

For example, a small child walks with his mother on the sidewalk near a busy road. The mother's attitude towards him will be fitting - encouragement for proper behavior, scolding for "excessive rambunctiousness." But if he manages to slip from her grasp and run onto the road, putting himself in danger, she will immediately rush to save him, even without him asking, ("Why do you cry out to me?"). And if, heaven forbid, he is injured, his worried parents will sit by his bedside day and night, because they truly love their child without bounds, and this is not a love that renewed itself because of the injury. The love was always there, inside, and it is this love that drives the approach of reward and punishment.

Hashem also guides us with two approaches. The more familiar one to us is the approach of reward and punishment. But there is also a more internal approach, an unfailing love, which can be easy to forget but must be kept in our awareness, as this immense love is not always felt in our daily experience.

"You are children to Hashem, your God," - Israel is called children. To children one cannot give a bill of divorce. Children bring joy and pride to their parents, "You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will be glorified" (Isaiah 49:3). And truly this is a great principle, that even in times of anger, even when He punishes us - His love for us is boundless. Therefore, even at the time of the destruction of the Temple, the pinnacle of hiddenness, the cherubs on the Ark of the Covenant were found embracing one another. Because the love for us is constant, and this is a very foundational concept that must be instilled within us.

Why indeed isn’t there a book of ethics emphasizing this? The reason is simple. Just as there is no medical book emphasizing how important it is to breathe. It is self-evident. Hashem's love for us is the essence of life, and for generations, it was self-evident to everyone. The Sages instituted blessings on this, "With an eternal love Have You loved us." And those whose hearts lack this fundamental principle must be cautious of an excessive focus on books of ethics that tend to elaborate on our shortcomings in actions and character traits, describing how to always have "my sin before me": how little I have done, and even the little I did, how I did it with ulterior motives and inclinations. As the Path of the Just (chapter 3) phrases it, this hints at the teaching of our Sages that a person must scrutinize and examine their actions.

A Jew for whom Hashem's love is ingrained can take this as a tool for improvement and betterment, but for us, it might become discouraging. The main work for us is to strengthen Hashem's love for us. It’s not just a leniency. It obligates us to be much happier.

If we succeed in understanding how important we truly are before Hashem, blessed be He, how every action of ours is significant, how every act affects the upper worlds, building worlds. How our actions are important and influential (see Nefesh HaChaim 1:4), to the extent that the text literally calls us 'partners' in the act of creation.

Published onMaane