God’s Unconditional Love: Understanding the Father–Child Relationship in the Torah

The Torah states in several places that God’s relationship to us parallels that of a father to his son: “You are children to the Lord your God” (Deuteronomy 14:1). This is said in the context of God’s boundless love for us, but also in the context of discipline: “Know in your heart that just as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you.” Let us look deeper into this idea, because it is fundamental to understanding reality.

When we consider our own relationship with our children, it is easy to notice two different modes of behavior, one deeper than the other. The first is unconditional love. When a newborn arrives, the parents feel a tremendous, limitless love for their child. And yet, one cannot raise a child solely on unconditional affection for his entire life. As the child grows, parents must set boundaries, apply reward and punishment such as praise for good behavior and consequences for bad. This is essential for proper education, because a child who was never corrected will likely grow spoiled or wild. Still, the parent must always remember that discipline is not the essence. At its root, love for a child is unconditional, and all the systems of reward, punishment, and boundaries are merely external garments of that deeper love.

For example, a small child walks with his mother along a busy street. She praises him when he behaves nicely and rebukes him when he runs wildly. If he suddenly breaks free and runs toward the traffic, she will immediately leap to save him. If God forbid, he is hurt, the parents will sit by his bed day and night, caring for him. This love is not something new that awakens in response to the accident — it was always there. In fact, it was that very love which motivated the discipline in the first place.

The same is true in God’s relationship with us. The more familiar way He relates to us is through reward and punishment, but there is also a deeper mode — His boundless, unconditional love. This is easy to forget, because we do not experience it directly in everyday life, but we must keep it in our awareness, for this love is constant.

“You are children to the Lord your God.” The Jewish people are called His children, and to children, one cannot give a divorce. Children bring joy and honor to their parents: “You are My servant, Israel, in whom I take pride” (Isaiah 49:3). This is the great foundation: even in times of anger and even when He punishes us, God’s love for us remains infinite. Even at the time of the destruction of the Temple, which was the very height of divine concealment, the cherubim upon the Ark were found embracing each other. God's love for us is a central principle we must carry within us.

There no mussar (ethical) book that emphasizes this truth for the same reason that no medical book needs to stress the importance of breathing. It is self-evident. God’s love for us is life itself. For generations, this was obvious to every Jew.

For us, the main spiritual work is to strengthen our awareness of God’s love for us. This is not merely a comfort, but a responsibility. It obligates us to live with far greater joy.

If we succeed in truly internalizing how precious we are to God, how every single one of our actions matters, how each deed impacts the higher worlds and builds spiritual realities (see Nefesh HaChaim I:4), we will understand why the Torah itself calls us “partners in the work of creation.”