Imagining Hashem as Human - What to Do?

Sigalit asks: "Hello! I am a religious woman, and I wholeheartedly believe that Hashem has no physical form or image, but unfortunately, every time I think of Him during prayer, imagining Him in front of me and seeing me, I envision a human-like image. I once read a story about a woman who observed all mitzvot, but when she passed away, her relatives came from the afterlife to receive her, and she was refused entry to paradise because she had an image for Hashem, which is a flaw in one of the thirteen principles. Since knowing this story, I tried to fight the image I imagine, but after a short time, I see this image in my mind's eye again. I'm afraid I have a flaw in one of the thirteen principles of faith, and I’d like to know what can be done with this imagination that works against me and is very disturbing in my simple service to Hashem. Thank you very much".

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Hello and blessings, Sigalit, and thank you for your question.

You may be experiencing obsessive thoughts. In such cases, rabbinical guidance is not to fight these thoughts but to reach a state of mental calmness, and then the issue resolves itself.

Therefore, I believe you should not fight your disturbing imagination but allow this thought to flow and pass freely in your mind, ignore it just like you would ignore a barking dog while you pray. Surely, you wouldn't go to the window to yell at the dog to be quiet... Similarly, don't try to silence your thoughts, but disregard them calmly until they pass, as they do not express your true faith at all. Experience shows that when we try to battle imaginations - they only become stronger and more annoying.

Know that as long as you did not choose to think these thoughts - you are not to blame for them. This is a test given to you from Heaven, and you must accept these challenges with understanding. It is clear from your words that you do not intellectually believe Hashem has a body, so in your case - do not take your imagination seriously and do not get upset by imaginations. And with Hashem’s help, they will pass on their own.

I am not familiar with the story you heard about that woman and do not know its source, but I believe if the story is true, it aims to describe a woman who surely made a conscious and deliberate choice to imagine Hashem as a human being of flesh and blood, and that was her belief in her mind, perhaps because she wanted to worship like Christians who pray to the crucified. In any case, do not let yourself fall into a place of anxiety, because Hashem is not exacting demands with His creations, He understands you and knows your true desire is good. What we can understand and have mercy for, certainly Hashem understands and has mercy, as He is the source of all wisdom and compassion. So do not fight this image and do not fear, but ignore it peacefully, for you did not choose it.

Once your heart calms and reaches tranquility, there is room for progress. You can now try to create a new outlook during prayer: instead of praying in your imagination to someone right in front of you, try instead to direct your heart to the highest heavens, for the heavens represent elevation, that which is far above us and beyond our understanding, thus they convey a sense of magnificence towards the infinite Hashem. In contrast, the earth represents only what we see and know before us.

Therefore, we direct our hearts to "Our Father in Heaven", recognizing that we are praying to Someone who is mighty and grand and beyond all inspection, who fills the entire universe. This is how the Rambam guided: "When standing in prayer, one should place their feet together and look downward, as if they are looking towards the earth. But their heart should be directed upward as if standing in the heavens" (Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Tefillah 5:4).

If you continue to look within your heart at what is now in front of you, your imagination will portray that you are talking to someone of your size. You will imagine them as a human, for all day you see people coming and going. But pay attention to the fact that when you look to the heavens, to the vast and massive universe above, you feel a sense of elevation and wonder, you will no longer be able to imagine a kind of human. Because someone who fills all the heavens is surely too mighty and grand to be imagined in form.

Therefore, when you pray, lower your head to the earth with humility, but lift your thoughts and heart to the high and immense heavens above you, direct your speech to the heights, and speak to Hashem as one who is high above you, watching and hearing you from above. Replace your imagination of an invisible person standing next to you with a sense of elevation to the one who fills all the heavens, and is so high and great that He cannot be contained in imagination at all. But He listens to your prayer from the heights and knows everything you feel, like a father holding his tiny baby, caring for him and understanding him.

Have you heard of the story of the twins? Two twins in their mother's womb, one fetus said to the other: "Who said we have a mother? Can we see her?", the other responded: "Our mother is all around us everywhere, she gives us life at every moment, and we feel her warmth. At every moment we receive blood and oxygen and water and food through the umbilical cord - all of these come from her, so I know she cares for us and loves us very much". The first fetus said: "But I am uncomfortable here, this place is becoming narrower, and the moment the umbilical cord is cut, we will die immediately without oxygen and food. Does a mother love?", the second replied: "I see with my own eyes that our mother cares for us, feeds and nourishes us every day, I have no doubt she did not bring us into the world to suffer. I am sure there is a purpose behind all the hardships and turns we go through. Therefore I believe with all my heart that even after we are cut off from the umbilical cord - we will not die, because there is a plan and a purpose, life awaits us after birth"!

With Hashem's help, after you train yourself to direct your heart upwards towards your Father in Heaven, a day will come when you will reach exactly this feeling: that Hashem actually encompasses you from all sides as if you were a fetus in your mother's womb, so Hashem is everywhere around you - in heaven and on earth, as the prophets say: "Can anyone hide in secret places so I shall not see him? says Hashem, do I not fill the heavens and the earth?" (Jeremiah 23:24).

And so the sages (Talmud Berachot 10a) taught: "Just as the Holy One, blessed be He, fills the whole world, so does the soul fill the entire body; just as the Holy One, blessed be He, sees but is not seen, so does the soul see but is not seen. Just as the Holy One, blessed be He, nourishes the whole world, so does the soul nourish the entire body; just as the Holy One, blessed be He, is pure, so is the soul pure, just as the Holy One, blessed be He, resides in innermost chambers, so does the soul reside in innermost chambers". And as it is also stated in Bereshit Rabbah (2:26): "May the soul which sees and is not seen praise Hashem who sees and is not seen".

But for now, begin with directing your heart to your Father in Heaven. Much success!