Birthday Party: Good Custom or Gentile Practice?

I'm celebrating my 30th birthday soon, and my wife wants to organize a family party. Is there any religious significance to rejoicing on this day according to Jewish law, or is it considered a 'gentile custom'?

The first time we encounter the concept of 'birthday' in the Torah is with Pharaoh, as stated at the end of Parshat Vayeshev (Genesis 40:20): "On the third day, which was Pharaoh's birthday," and in Tractate Avodah Zarah (8a) it is explicitly shown that this was a custom practiced among gentiles. Their reasoning was that gentiles believed in the constellation system of that day bringing them success. Similarly, in the midrash regarding Joshua's battle with Amalek: "Amalek was a great sorcerer who would position men on his birthday, saying that a person doesn't easily fall on his birthday. What did Moses do? He confused the constellations..." The commentary 'Zayit Ra'anan' explains that a person is not killed on his birthday.

In the book Divrei Yisrael (Vol. 2, Collected Responses, Section 18), he distinguishes that the concept of constellations applies to gentiles, but for Israel, "there is no constellation for Israel," and a Jew's success is not dependent on the constellation system of his birthday, and therefore he finds no more importance in it than on other days of the year. He adds that there are three times in a person's life when celebration is appropriate: a. on the first birthday (Bava Kamma 80); b. on the Bar Mitzvah day; c. upon reaching the age of seventy. Divrei Yisrael concludes based on the Midrash Rabbah on Ecclesiastes that each passing year from birth brings one closer to death, and from here it is explicitly understood that celebrating birthdays is not compatible with the spirit of traditional Judaism.

On the other hand, we find in the Midrash Sekhel Tov (Genesis 40:20) that most people cherish the day they were born, rejoice in it, and hold a feast, and when their birthday arrives, some customarily recite the Shehecheyanu blessing over a new fruit or new clothing, while others made it a holiday for sages (Responsa Ginzei Yosef, Vol. 4). In Responsa Ktav Sofer (Yoreh Deah 148), he wrote that he would complete a Talmudic tractate on his birthday. We also find in the Jerusalem Talmud (Rosh Hashanah 3:8) and in Korban HaEdah (ibid) that a birthday is the day of a person's soul descent, a descent for the purpose of ascent, and therefore it is a special and auspicious day for a person, as they said: 'A person does not easily fall on his birthday,' since the constellation on that day rules over him. Similarly, they interpreted the verse "And Moses said to Joshua" (Exodus 17:9)—why specifically Joshua? So that he would choose men like himself who were born in the month of Adar (Zohar, Parshat Yitro). See also the Pardes collection (USA, Year 46, 1972).

Additional times when we find sources for celebration are:

1. On the day a person enters the covenant of Abraham our father (Responsa Afarkasta D'Anya 123, citing the Chatam Sofer).

2. On reaching the age of sixty (Moed Katan 28b), and so wrote the Kaf HaChaim (223:29) that one should recite a blessing over a new fruit on this day, intending to acknowledge being saved from spiritual excision (karet).

In summary: Although there is no halachic obligation to mark one's birthday, the Chida wrote in his book Chomat Anakh (Job, beginning of Section 3) that on the day one is born, their fortune is strengthened, and therefore on this day it is appropriate to increase Torah study, charity (Book Tzedakah L'Chaim by Rabbi Chaim Palagi) and self-reflection regarding one's purpose in this world.

Rabbi Shai Amar is a rabbi in the Halacha Department of Hidabroot

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