Why Am I Suffering in This World?

Hello Rabbi, I am currently on shlichut (emissary work) in Phetchaburi, Thailand, and there is a 45-year-old man here who asks me: “Why have I been suffering for so long from a lack of success, etc.?” I would also like to get some tips for myself. How can I succeed in such a difficult place? What topics should I speak about with people here?

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Hello and blessings,

You are asking big and difficult questions, and I hope that I can offer you some good advice.

The suffering people go through is intended to atone for sins, sometimes from this lifetime, or from previous reincarnations. For example, a person who was dishonest in business may return in another lifetime and be decreed financial difficulties.

If a person does not keep the Torah and mitzvot, or is lax in fulfilling them, he is blocking spiritual and even material abundance from himself. For example, Shabbat is referred to as “the source of blessing,” and one who keeps Shabbat merits greater success in his livelihood.

In any case, even one who is enduring hardships must strengthen himself with the knowledge that nothing happens by chance, and that everything is for the good — even suffering is like a necessary surgery, with God Himself as the healer of souls.

Our Talmudic Sages taught that before a person even comes into this world, all of his life’s trials are decided (Talmud, Niddah 16b): “The angel appointed over conception — his name is ‘Night’—takes a drop and places it before the Holy One, blessed be He, and says before Him: Master of the Universe, what will be with this drop — mighty or weak, wise or foolish, rich or poor? But righteous or wicked — that he does not say.”

From here we learn that before a person is even born, it is decided in Heaven what his personal challenges will be, whether he will be rich or poor, if he will have difficulties with livelihood, what illnesses or pains he might face, etc. Each person has their own personal accounting, often connected to deeds and tests from previous lifetimes, which determines the events of their life. Whether to be righteous or wicked however, is entirely in our hands, regardless of external circumstances. We can choose the path of faith and trust — believing that everything is for the good, accepting suffering with love, or God forbid, deny our Creator and add to our wrongdoing. This choice is fully ours.

The Sages also said (Talmud, Arachin 16b): “To what extent are suffering considered suffering? … Even if they intended to mix a cup of wine with hot water and by mistake mixed it with cold, or intended cold and mixed it hot — this is called suffering. Even if his shirt was put on inside out and he had to take it off and fix it, this is suffering. Even if he reached into his pocket to take out three coins and only two came out — this is suffering.”

My personal advice for success in the Diaspora is to speak with Jews about the condition of the Jewish people in exile, about what it means to be Jewish, and about the importance of preserving Jewish identity in the face of assimilation. Speak about how the Jewish people have survived for 3,300 years, against all odds, about the unnatural phenomenon of antisemitism, and about the prophecies of the End of Days that are unfolding before our eyes.

Outside of Israel, there is often a deep, inner longing in a Jew’s soul for his Jewish identity and for the Holy Land, and it is therefore worthwhile to speak about Jewish identity and the importance of Torah.