Is Physical Appearance Important in Judaism? Understanding Beauty, Challenges, and Self-Worth

Ayelet asks: “Hello. I wanted to ask about physical appearance. It seems that in this world, people who are considered unattractive or not good-looking receive different, often worse, treatment. It looks like society loves and respects beautiful people more. Why did Hashem create people who are ugly? And does Judaism permit calling someone ugly? Thank you.”

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Hello Ayelet, and thank you for your important question.

This question can similarly be asked regarding wealth. Rich people naturally receive more honor due to their social status, but the Torah does not instruct us to pursue wealth. We find that tzaddikim (righteous individuals) who were wealthy saw their wealth not as a goal but as a tool to sanctify G-d’s Name in the world. Similarly, physical beauty is a tool given to some souls for their specific spiritual mission. The Matriarchs were beautiful, yet they concealed their beauty out of modesty and humility, which led them to tremendous spiritual achievements.

The Torah never mentions physical beauty unless it has relevance to a spiritual test, such as Yosef HaTzaddik, whose beauty is highlighted only in the context of the challenges he faced in Egypt.

Both wealth and beauty are external gifts, accompanied by their unique trials. They are tools assigned to certain souls for their mission in this world. Other souls are given different tools for different tasks.

The Torah always emphasizes internal qualities. Time and again, we see how G-d elevates those who seemed insignificant at first. Our forefather Yaakov was chosen to continue the lineage of Israel, despite not being the firstborn. Shaul HaMelech (King Saul) was from the smallest tribe and considered unimportant. When he was chosen, he expressed his humility: “Am I not a Benjamite, from the smallest tribe of Israel, and is not my family the least of all the families of Benjamin?” (Samuel I, 9).

David HaMelech (King David), was also overlooked, and was not even mentioned by his father Yishai when Shmuel came to anoint a king. Shmuel thought Eliav would be king, but G-d told him: “Do not look at his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. For man looks at the outward appearance, but Hashem looks at the heart” (Samuel I, 16). David was chosen because of his pure heart.

Ugliness is indeed a challenge, and sometimes its root lies in the need for a soul to rectify mistakes from previous incarnations, such as arrogance over beauty or mocking others for their flaws. However, we cannot know the exact Heavenly calculations. Every situation is designed for the person’s ultimate benefit and spiritual elevation.

There is, however, a great hidden virtue in unattractiveness in that it often pushes a person to develop their inner self, to refine their character, and to achieve spiritual and intellectual heights they may not have reached if they had relied on external charm. Many of history’s most impactful individuals were not considered outwardly beautiful. If you look at Nobel Prize winners or great revolutionaries, you’ll find that, in most cases, they were not the ones admired for their looks. Their focus on their inner world led them to greatness.

The Talmud teaches that wisdom is preserved in simple, modest vessels. Just as wine and milk are best stored in earthenware vessels rather than in gold or silver, so too Torah wisdom is preserved in humble people (Taanit 7a). The Talmud recounts a story of the Roman emperor’s daughter who was amazed that Rabbi Yehoshua, despite his unattractive appearance, possessed such immense wisdom. He replied by explaining that the finest wine is kept in plain vessels to maintain its quality.

Even someone who feels disadvantaged by their looks can find joy by focusing on their unique strengths and expressing gratitude for their blessings. The righteous person learns to see advantage within the seeming disadvantage.

The Torah instructs us to focus on internal virtues: "Charm is deceptive and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears Hashem, she shall be praised"(Proverbs 31:30).

Of course, every strength and weakness comes with its unique tests. Yosef HaTzaddik was exceedingly handsome, but even he faced a spiritual downfall when he became overly preoccupied with his appearance. Wealth comes with the tests of arrogance, greed, and materialism. Physical beauty, too, presents spiritual risks, often leading people down paths of vanity and superficiality. Moreover, physical beauty fades with age, leading some to chase after its preservation in vain.

Every person is given their own unique tests by G-d. Just as there are trials for the rich, there are trials for the poor. Likewise, there are trials for those who are not considered attractive, and equally for those who are very beautiful. Ultimately, each soul has its personal mission and divine account in this world.

Regarding your second question if it is permissible to call someone “ugly” in Judaism- absolutely not. The Torah commands: “Love your fellow as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18). The Talmud teaches that shaming someone in public is akin to murder (Bava Metzia 58b).

The Gemara (Taanit 20a) tells a story of Rabbi Shimon, who once commented thoughtlessly about a man’s unattractive appearance. The man rebuked him, saying, “Go tell the Craftsman who made me how ugly is this vessel You created!” Realizing his mistake, Rabbi Shimon dismounted his donkey, prostrated himself before the man, and asked for forgiveness.

In external matters, a person should aim for balance and mediocrity, but in spiritual pursuits, one should always strive for the absolute best!