Why Are You Religious People So Narrow-Minded?

"You must be a returnee to the faith, or something like that, right?".
This was the question posed by an elderly and educated woman at the end of a lecture I delivered.
Here, it was my turn to wonder. It was the first time I lectured in front of a non-religious audience. 'What, is a Charedi truly supposed to sound and look like how they market them to the general public? How opposite the image is from reality! Amazing!' I replied, "Yes, entirely from birth," and she was surprised... and then she asked:
"Why are you so narrow-minded? Everything is do and don't do? Limiting freedom! This is not the true Judaism!"
Well, since I don't believe in arguing for the sake of argument, where the question's purpose isn't to truly inquire, but to release emotion, to feel right, (and I'm not one of those who would brag 'how I put her in her place...'), so I replied empathetically, not launching a counterattack. I understand she is merely expressing what she has seen and heard about Judaism in general and the Charedim in particular. I also understand that a counterattack wouldn't necessarily convince. I had a calm conversation with her, aiming to understand what true Judaism is...
"Let's see what the sages tell us, for we agree that the sages undoubtedly reflect true Judaism, and here they say something amazing, an opposite view: 'And the writing was the writing of Hashem, engraved upon the tablets; do not read engraved (charut) but freedom (cherut), there is no free person but one who engages in Torah!' It is the one who is engaged in the Torah who is truly free. How is this possible? After all, he is bound by the constraints of do and don't do, seemingly 'limiting his freedom'.
"But upon reflection, we understand more: the Torah frees one from the chains of our selfish tendencies. When a Jew fulfills thousands of times in his life, social commandments of do that 'limit freedom', like acts of kindness, charity, loving others, or commandments of don't do that 'limit freedom', such as not taking revenge, not harboring grudges, not speaking gossip, simply not giving free rein to negative emotions, when a Jew observes commandments that preserve the family framework precisely by 'limiting freedom', he learns and internalizes the message 'Do not be selfish! Be ethical!'. Indeed, the commandments restrict wild freedom! The selfish material freedom is limited by them, and by this very limitation, freedom is created—the ability to choose and act according to morality!
"Naturally, a person is inclined towards materialism—a lot of selfishness. From here, it is easy not to feel happiness! Because for him, the measure of success is more comparative, 'What am I compared to my friends', 'What is my status', 'What have I achieved and enjoyed', and so on. When a Jew invests much in studying the Torah, prayer, and commandments, he develops within himself the spiritual place, less selfish, less comparative, because he feels better from within himself! Certainly, one should not generalize, but the influence of the Torah in this direction is clear. He is more liberated from the chains that prevent his happiness!".
So indeed, the commandments serve as a barrier to unrestrained desires. But precisely by doing so, they allow us to feel liberated to our more inner and essential desires! To be happier. Like a river, when dams are set before it, to direct it in the desired direction. The dam limits its freedom but navigates it to a more beneficial and non-damaging place. It is exactly like that!