The Importance of Separation in Synagogues

Ronit asks: "Hello. Why does Judaism require separation in synagogues? In Western societies, there is no separation in workplaces and schools, and it doesn't seem to harm them. Where is this written in the Torah? Thank you".

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Hello Ronit, and thank you for your question.

What keeps a marriage healthy over the years is fidelity. It is very difficult to maintain fidelity when emotional connections are formed between genders in workplaces and other places. Everywhere, people are naturally drawn to forming relationships, and social frameworks are what limit and restrain these connections. Forming emotional connections outside the family unit threatens marriage and peace at home. If we look at divorce rates in Western societies, we find they are skyrocketing: since 2002, every third couple in Israel divorces! This indicates a harmful social foundation that needs correction.

The Halacha requires separation between men and women, as detailed later, thus saving the bond of love between partners. Women must insist on observing this separation, as it maintains the loyalty of their husbands.

Let's fairly ask,

how many women in today's Western society feel their husband is not giving them enough attention, comparing them to other women he's seen and met in movies, at work, in the street, or on the beach, and isn't always present even when he's with them?

How many married women in Western society suffer today from a "half-loyal" husband who is drawn to looking at other fields, forming emotional ties with coworkers, friends, and acquaintances? How many women feel that as they age and lose the charm of youth, their husband is no longer faithful in his heart, turning his gaze towards younger, prettier women, and acts as though he's "settling" for them? His wife was once the most precious thing in his world, but nowadays, with unhealthy openness between genders, other women compete for his attention—some are younger, prettier, funnier, or simply have more free time. Some aren't married, with all the time to chat and laugh. And she cannot compete with them. She is a mother. She needs a loving, supportive husband.

Illustration (Photo: Flash 90)

His wife does so much for him, for the dedicated family they've built, deserving emotional consideration and attention. But she works, tends to the children, and there's not always time for building emotional connections.

Moreover, life is known to be complex, full of ups and downs, and relationships go through challenges and hardships. Where does the Western man turn in such hard times? Can he remain faithful to his wife when other women are readily available to talk to and form ties with during difficult and trying periods at home?

Separation strengthens fidelity by preventing these risks upfront and the countless disappointments that follow. It reinforces family and marriage in good times and bad.

We've mentioned the difficulties of family life in Western culture, but we haven’t yet discussed the suffering of young singles. Lack of separation in educational institutions doesn’t create healthy openness, but rather the opposite: tension, gossip, competition, pride, attempts to impress, provocation, violence, self-esteem damage, and so on. The opposite of what should be a fertile ground for learning and education.

What happens when emotional connections form at such a young age? How many hearts have been broken because they were deceived by external appearances, lacking the maturity for a real and binding emotional connection? Hearts are torn and shattered repeatedly out of naivety, not their fault. A betrayed and hurt heart never returns to how it once was, filled with scars preventing it from fully loving and trusting again. How many hearts break today? How many families are torn apart because of lack of modesty? How much pain is caused by excessive openness between genders, the lack of separation in schools and workplaces?

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From the time of Torah until today, for 3300 years, Jews practiced separation in public places and houses of worship. In the holiest place for the Jewish people—the Temple—there was a women's section. Even righteous Jews in the Temple were required to maintain separation.

Here is an ancient halachic discussion on the separation required during the joy of the Water-Drawing Ceremony (Sukkah 51b): "They arranged for women to sit above and men below. Originally, women were inside and men outside, and they came to frivolity. So, they arranged for women to be outside and men inside, yet still, it led to frivolity. Therefore, they arranged for women to sit above and men below... (Zechariah 12:12) 'the land shall mourn, every family apart; the family of the house of David apart, and their wives apart.' They said: Isn't it an a fortiori argument: if in the future, engaged in mourning, where they are not subject to evil inclination, the Torah orders men apart and women apart, then all the more so now, when they engage in rejoicing and are subject to evil inclination, how much more so [must they be separated]."

Lack of separation naturally leads to eye contact and emotional attachment, potentially harming marriage and peace at home. Judaism reserves the emotional and physical connection for husband and wife: "and cleave to his wife, and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).

The Torah explicitly states: "Do not follow your heart nor your eyes after which you go astray" (Numbers 15:39) - even inappropriate thought is forbidden by Torah, how much more so looking, touching, or engaging in idle chatter.

The Torah states: "Do not come close to uncovering nakedness. I am the Lord," teaching us to shun the prohibition, to keep away from temptation, hence the necessity of rules and separation between genders. This is why there are detailed laws of Yichud in Halacha.

The Torah also states: "Your camp shall be holy, and He shall see no indecent thing among you and turn away from you" (Deuteronomy 23:15). From this, we learn that success and protection come from modesty between genders.

Thus it is ruled in the Shulchan Aruch, accepted by all Jewish communities. Halacha forbids a man to form connections with any woman who is not his wife. We'll quote from Kitzur Shulchan Aruch: "A man must distance himself very much from women. It is forbidden to signal with hands, feet, or wink to a woman, to jest with her, or act frivolously towards her, or to gaze at her beauty. It is forbidden to smell the perfume intended for a woman... forbidden to look at colored garments of a woman... looking even at a small finger of a woman with intent to enjoy is a grave sin" (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 152:8-9).

Illustration (Photo: Hadas Parush / Flash 90)

This is how Hashem commanded us, as He knows what is good and beneficial for society, what is best for every woman in Israel, for every mother!

For this reason, men must pray and study Torah separately, and women must pray and study Torah separately. Women of faith go to the synagogue today and pray in the women's section. They do not join the men's Minyan, just as men cannot join the women's section—for modesty reasons. Especially in the place of prayer: it would be unseemly for inappropriate thoughts to rise in the hearts of congregants, for eyes to linger on neighbors' wives, for ears to listen to women's conversations, or for people to converse with the opposite sex, particularly among youth drawn to eye contact and interaction, wanting to know, talk, and impress. These cannot be avoided in a mixed gathering, not among adults, and even less so among youth.

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I recalled an additional source on separation, for it is told in the Torah (Exodus 15:20): "Miriam the prophetess, Aaron's sister, took a drum in her hand, and all the women went out after her with drums and dances. And Miriam responded to them, 'Sing to the Lord, for He is highly exalted; the horse and its rider He hurled into the sea.'" Notice it says, "all the women went out after her," meaning Miriam took the women, not the men.

From here, it is understood that the women were separate, and so were the men, and they did not sing together in a mixed group. This is another proof from the Torah for modesty and separation between men and women even during holy and joyous times like the Exodus from Egypt (even though inappropriate thoughts were not conceivable at such an occasion, we see that separation was observed).

As for the expected question of how women sang before men since "a woman's voice is lewdness," it can be assumed that the women's procession was distant from the men's, so they would not come to frivolity, and also, the men sang loudly together the song of the sea, so they did not hear the women or intend to hear them. When observing separation, frivolity was avoided.

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I've noticed that questions about mixed seating in synagogues usually arise due to the noise made by the reformists. Therefore, it is worth mentioning that reformists were never an organized religion (there are no obligatory laws or commandments that define "Reform"). Reformists do not go to synagogues daily because, to them, any religious topic is merely a tradition, not a commandment. They do not obey Halacha, and therefore cannot represent the 3300-year-old original Judaism we inherited from our forefathers.

Historically, reformists are a modern stream formed in the last hundred years following the Enlightenment movement, adapting tradition to what is accepted in Western society. This means they do not adhere to any binding religion or ideology but adjust themselves to recent cultural trends. Surveys show many reformists today deny Hashem and do not believe in the Torah at all! They cause noise in Israel for cultural reasons, not religious ones. Thus, it's no surprise that, statistically, the reformist community in the United States is disappearing, as most members assimilate with non-Jews and lose any Jewish identity they had.

See also: "Why can't Daniel and Daniela study in the same class?"

https://www.hidabroot.org/he/question/28254

On a ruling by Rabbi Ovadia Yosef concerning study in mixed colleges:

https://www.hidabroot.org/he/question/28254

Reformists perform circumcision on a dog:

www.hidabroot.org/he/article/115146

Best regards,

Daniel Bels