Why Judaism Doesn't Want People to Live Alone

Michal asks: "I understand that according to the Torah, Jews should always be responsible for each other, pray together, etc., but in today’s Western society, there’s a sense of individual living (even among neighbors, there’s not much interaction). I can see why it's unhealthy to live alone, but why does Judaism require always being part of a group?"

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Hello and welcome, and thank you for your question.

You asked why Hashem requires us to live together as a united people, pray together, and interact with others. Ethical books indeed touch on this fundamental issue and explain the importance of commandments between humans. The sages say that commandments were given to "purify" the people. The Torah refines the soul just as a jeweler refines diamonds from their outer layers. The sages said that the measure by which a man measures, "so they measure for him," meaning just as we show compassion to others, so too will there be mercy from heaven upon us.

Interacting and engaging with people equips our souls to be good and righteous, elevating us beyond nature. Without others, we cannot be good and righteous.

To understand this, let's imagine a person placed on a deserted island from a very young age. Now, an interesting question arises: will this person grow to be wicked or righteous?

To answer this, we must examine his qualities. But what qualities could he acquire during his life? On a deserted island, he doesn't face anger issues because there's no one to be angry with. He doesn't engage in gossip, as there's no one to gossip about. There's no talk of holding grudges or revenge, as there's no one to bear ill will against or retaliate. Striking or hurting isn’t possible, as there’s no one to harm. He can't lie, as there’s no one to deceive. Theft isn't possible because there's no one to steal from. Doing kindness for others is also impossible.

He cannot acquire any good qualities without other people, as good virtues require a continual "refinement" of the soul, shaping personality according to interaction and connection with others.

Thus, a solitary person will never progress spiritually, and as the sages said, "A knife sharpens only with the help of another knife." Therefore, the most elevated Torah study is done with a study partner, to the point the sages stated: "Either companionship or death" (Taanit 23, page A).

Without other people in the world, practical spiritual progress cannot occur, overcoming desires, forming virtues, doing kindness for others, and becoming better people.

Thus, the ethical scholars said, the materiality of the other person is your spirituality. Through your connection with others, you elevate yourself spiritually. Therefore, an unmarried individual is considered a "half person," as they have yet to elevate themselves through emotional attachment to a woman and giving to children, whom they will love. As Rabbi Akiva said: "Love your neighbor as yourself is a great rule in the Torah" (Jerusalem Talmud, Nedarim, page 30). Through love, a person can advance further.

Hashem created people with the choice between good and evil, possessing various inclinations like gossip, selfishness, and caring and consideration, intending that one shapes their personality through their own hands and elevates their soul to merit eternal life powerfully. Therefore, the Torah instructs Jews to live together: "How goodly are your tents, O Jacob, your dwelling places, O Israel" (Numbers 13).

Through Judaism, Jews stop living alone, connecting with a shared goal as Hashem's people. Thanks to halacha, Jews come into contact with one another and advance their personal virtues through acts of kindness, overcoming, and giving to others.